On some days, we have to tell ourselves that our grades are not reflective of our vast body of knowledge. Today happens to be one of those days for me.
Lacking in so many aspects, I now stand in front of uniformed children, holding a marker. Shouldn't teachers be... Amazing? Aren't they people who have answers to the universe, and score 101% on every test? My shoes are now the shoes of a teacher, and I find myself to be an utterly ordinary, half-witted plebeian who really shouldn't be teaching.
Perhaps the fault of a crumbling civilisation lies with its ambitious yet under-qualified (and also underpaid) force of teachers. What can I give them, as a teacher? With my empty brain the size of a pea, and a mere 70% on my Japanese exam, how dare I expect much more from those developing little children? I frown when they flunk, yet I'm not doing better myself.
A 70%, can you believe it? When I said I'd kill myself if I scored below 85%, I was stuffing my face with fried chicken, exuding confidence. Now that I've found out exactly how badly I did, I'm ashamed to even face my teacher when the semester starts.
Would my students be surprised at their teacher's academic results? I hope they never develop a curiosity towards my academic abilities. As far as I am concerned, I know nothing and can do nothing. Lying in bed after coming home from school, I wish I could close my eyes and melt into a pool of unwanted oils; Wipe me, wipe me!