Another Day, Another Movie

It is now three in the morning, and I have arrived in a different home.

Anonymous. My whole life, no movie has ever made me give my undivided attention to it, except for this one.

So, who is the real William Shakespeare? Was he even a real person? His found manuscripts, none of them were written by his own hands. Did he really exist? The truth is the greatest tragedy of all…

… I NEED AN INTERNET CONNECTION SO BADLY!!!

I still don’t understand why poets were treated so badly in the olden days. It’s like… Artists were all so miserable back in the days. Look at those ancient Chinese poets; they weren’t exactly treated very nicely by the politics then either. Let’s face it, until today, politics still suck.

Tell me, I will never be a writer that influences people with my words, will I?

SO SAD!

Is expressing oneself through words that wrong and disgraceful? I can only wonder. Why, were poets treated as failures? I will never understand how fancy Elizabethans think.

 I dream of being with a poet, I love verses so much~ Hehe… Seductive verses… Ooh… Oh… Oh… Oh… This is getting somewhere… CENSORED. I’m stuck with a musician for now. Not too bad. At least he has a voice that I love?

I have Shakespeare’s collection at home, and I haven’t even finished reading a single play. Remember that thick green book I used to read after band practices? The one that looked like a God damned dictionary? Yeah… Printed in freakishly small words, smaller than the words in your average dictionary, is the works of the great William Shakespeare, which I will read when I am serious about actually understanding it.

I’m still thinking about the movie. I don’t know what to say. It was… Truly, the greatest tragedy of all… Look on the bright side, at least the sonnets and plays weren’t destroyed and were able to live until today.

So… You fucked your own mother…? OUCH!

Imagine this: Your father died. The castle took you in. You are an Earl. You are forced to marry someone you do not love. After marrying the girl you were forced to marry, your true love finally professes, and you both end up making love and having a baby. Your true love isn’t just someone, but the queen. Your lovely queen is sent away because nobody must know of the baby. But of course, you don’t know that the queen is conceived. So you just thought that she didn’t love you, and left you. You have an affair with another woman, who tells you that the queen still loves you and bears your child… Half a century later, you find out that your REAL mother is actually your lovely queen. Yes, the horror… You made your biological mother pregnant. And your son is still as charming as ever.

The drama in the movie… You wouldn’t even believe it!

If I were to marry someone I don’t love, I’d run away before I walk down the aisle. Imagining the honeymoon is a nightmare I tell you! NIGHTMARE! And it’s all happening inside my head right now. Do you guys mind a semi-perverted story? >_<

I’d better not. My mum will sue me.

Since I’m on my laptop… Hehehe… I’ll go write my perverted nightmare~ Yuhooo~

I’m so perverted that it scares me!

Let's Celebrate! with a lousy movie

Hello, my dears! I’m back, for the first time in… Hey… How long has it been since my last blog post? Anyway, I’m writing this post using Microsoft Word in the middle of the night, since I have no internet connection and have just finished a horrible anime. I just CANNOT wait to write about how much it SUCKS. Hmph!

Just so you know I’m on holiday. And no, I’m not on a deserted island in the middle of the Caribbean with no Wi-Fi doing perverted stuff to you-know-who. 

Alright, enough with the pointless chit-chat. I don’t wanna err AGAIN. I go astray WAY too often when I’m writing. So, now, I am seriously gonna start bitching about how bad the movie was.

Oh,oh,oh!

The movie isn’t something from the year 2012 though. In fact, it’s an anime from 2006… Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve become cut off from the world ever since Lappy got screwed last year. 

Studio Ghibli. Why does everyone have such high expectations from them!? Of course, I’m also one of those people who really look forward to touching works by the studio. Since I’m writing about a 2006 one, I’m sure you all have seen it already: Tales From Earthsea. Skip this post if you want. We all know that Rachel Cheong isn’t exactly the best movie-watcher in town.

OK! So… Where do I begin? Hmm… It sucks. The movie sucks.

I don’t usually say that something sucks, even if it sucks… But THAT was just TOO horrible.

The beginning wasn’t epic, the ending didn’t make me cry, the climax… Was there even one…? The plot was something like ALL my blog posts, in short, it was messy.

Shows with dragons are supposed to be epic right? But this one wasn’t. The hell! I don’t even know what the dragons were for! They just made a… one minute appearance. How dull. And the dragons weren’t even drawn in a pretty way… They reminded me of skinny fish heads and human bones.

Another minor detail that made me lose the mood to watch it was how the characters were drawn… A seventeen-year-old prince looked like a God damned five-year-old! And by the time the movie ACTUALLY starts, he should be about at least twenty already! But… Oh well… He still looked 15. Maybe even younger.

The ending was crap. The dragon flew prince charming to something like a faraway land, but within minutes… The mage, the lady AND THE HORSE already climbed the hills, walked through the plains and stood in front of them. DID THEY EVEN THINK THE ENDING THROUGH!? GOD!

I don’t know if it’s me, or it really is that way, but,  Tales From Earthsea was worse than a RPG; it doesn’t have much quests for you, and it isn’t challenging AT ALL. Perhaps I have been too busy with Aveyond II lately. Can anyone tell me how do I find that bloody squirrel commando?

The villain from Earthsea reminds me of Orochimaru from Naruto(sorry if I got the name wrong, not a big fan of Naruto). Their goals are similar too! That is to seek eternal life. Moreover, they dress in women’s clothing, look gay, have freakishly fair complexion, and have snaky voices. Not to mention long hair as well. Oh, and another thing that they both have in common is that they actually succeeded in finding the secret to eternal life!

Uh-oh… Looks like SOMEBODY has been slacking off A LOT.

This is the only movie from Ghibli that didn’t make me waste my tissues, apart from Only Yesterday which I literally skipped through, because of the plotlessness.  Miyazaki has to teach Miyazaki junior some stuff! Or else… Oh, I don’t even want to think about how horrible things will become!

I’ll let you in on a secret… The reason why I’m even dating who I’m dating now is because of Studio Ghibli! Hehehe… 耳をすませば~

Did you guys miss me? Leave a comment to show that you guys care. PLEASE~?

I’m going to close this blog soon, because… I blog about THINGS THAT NO ONE REALLY EVER CARES ABOUT. 

I am heartbroken, truly, I AM.