Welcome Home~ Dad~

Whee~ When was the last time I saw my own father? =X

Maybe last... August...?

August...

September...

 November...

December...

January...

February...

Six months already?! Huaa? Or is it eight months...? Uww... I forgot how long >_<

Yesterday's post was a total FAILURE. I was half asleep when I wrote it. LOL. Nah... I couldn't possibly treat you guys like... Strangers~ We're friends... RIGHT? RIGHT????

Oh, Hong Gi's birthday is on March 2nd... Which reminds me... As Rachel Minam Tae Min Onew =_= I have to buy THREE gifts for my lovely Hong Gi~ ♥

Anyway... I'M NOT into K-pop. I'm just playing. Hey. It's good enough that I know which group are made outta guys, which group are made outta girls... Well... At least now... I THINK I know who is in SNSD...?

Lalala~

Stephanie got good grades so far, jealous~♥ hng!

Haha. I just realized how much I suck. Never mind.... We'll see about that... I'm sure that after drawing 80 pages of Science diagrams... Multiple uterus, ovaries, vagina, and penis... I will ace my Science =X

I'm just saying. Not sure. UGH. Why do I have to learn things that I don't wanna learn and do things I don't wanna do! UGH!

>_<

International Chinese Writing Competition? LMAO! WHY?! Do you need me to write... Tell me why teacher... I will write. I will write you a lesbian story. Or do you prefer gay?

Grr...

DAMMIT.

I feel like my results are killing me. No, seriously, I seriously feel that way. Pressure... Even if the test papers are really light, it's like they're crushing me. Ahhh! It doesn't matter...? But let's just face it... Everything matters... Hmm... I think I will turn into one of those kia su people soon... But... Man... Just thinking about it is enough to kill me. I feel so tired just thinking about my grades!

Gahhh!

I really... Really... Really.... REALLY... Feel like dying.

Don't know why. Unlike most people, I know that there are people who are having things WAY worse, and that there's a solution to everything, and that we should cherish life, blah blah blah... I know that crap... Gave me life...? Gave me life... Like everyone living on this world, YOU are the same. YOU make the decisions, because what? YOU chose to die because of us? Yeah, damn YOU, YOU should have just let YOUR FATHER destroy the world. Second chance? What the heck, aren't YOU destroying it now anyway?! And I use to wonder why they follow HIM instead of YOU.  I guess I got my answer now.

Sorry if I disappoint you too much dear, if you don't like the way I think then don't like me at all. Because we both know, we are not the same. I am born this way.

Lady Gaga

レイシェル＠１５５９

Sick For Today~

I'm feeling much better. Don't worry. It was just a fever. Nothing much.

Yesterday was...? Chap Go Mei is it?

After reading so many Chinese blog posts... Finally... I know what... Uhh... 抛柑 means...? I don't know how to pronounce the words in Chinese... At first, I thought that it was sugarcane, so I said to myself "Why does everybody eat sugarcane on Chap Go Mei...? Is sugarcane special...?" 

我们就开始抛柑咯...

Hope that sentence isn't copyrighted xD

... I really thought that  抛柑 is sugarcane! DAMN! How did I even pass my Chinese last year?  >_<

WAIT... I still don't know how to pronounce 抛柑 but I know that the meaning is throw mandarin oranges???

Whatever...

Hmm... Today is co-curriculum day, and... I was absent. At least I got Winnie help me register for Leo Club afterwards... What bout other societies... Nye... One is better none, so I guess I'll just be grateful for now.

I feel normal, but I'm burning? I wonder... How do sick people act...? Uhh, and what do they do? Cause... I have fever, but I feel normal... Well... Maybe just a wee bit dizzy. But I was able to sit through my piano lesson...? 

WELL... Sorry for not going to practice earlier. Hmm... I wonder... Wait.... What was I thinking...? I forgot...

=_=

I can't take it anymore... I'm going to bed...

   

The Lesbians Post

I wondered how my research on Steven Tyler went to Hepatitis C, then Hepatitis B, HIV, fellatio =_= to heterosexual, ancient  Greek poetry, ancient Greek poet, then... Sappho, the first lesbian poet =_=''

Dammit... If only Steven Tyler hadn't popped into my mind.  I guess it's a good thing... At least now I know who was the one who made lesbianism...  Lesbianism =_=

Apparently, fellatio and anal sex is illegal in Malaysia, and the punishment is kinda harsh too, 20 years in jail, along with some fine whipping. Wow... I sure did my homework... If only school tested us about this... Right, and homosexuality, and bisexuality is banned in this country too?! WTH?! How am I suppose to live? >_<

MIGRATE!

Still don't get why the government needs to bother about personal relationships. Hump! Not like they did anything to the lesbians I've seen. That's a good thing too, if everyone's straight, where's the fun?

It's... Three years to when I'm eighteen... Hmm... I wonder... Does that mean that I can read the book about sex, by an Indian fella a few hundred thousand years ago? I'm curious... How did he see the Gods do it...? Obviously, you would have guessed the title of the book by now... But... Don't tell me that it is banned here too? Does this mean that I have to read it online... Again...?

If my mum finds out about this, I'm dead X-X

Let's hope that when I'm 18, I will be studying in college =D

Wikipedia is a really good site, I learn about almost everything from there. Like everything that I've learnt today... Okay... Not EVERYTHING... Maybe... A few things... Go, go, visit the site and get smarter!

If only my studies interested me more than this...

One day, if the world really goes mad, I will be the first woman in history to establish IPU. And if that happens... MY GOODNESS... What has the world become?! I wonder how many people will enroll... I guess I'll never know...

For a second there, I was so happy, I thought that I had finally found it... But turns out... It wasn't Barbie's missing wing... Mum really threw it away?! But dammit! The reason I didn't donate the doll was because I bought it in Germany! When I was 9! But... Never mind... IT WAS MADE IN INDONESIA =_=

Oh... The irony. Luckily, it didn't read MADE IN MALAYSIA.

Well... Getting late now, and I have school tomorrow.

I feel that everything's becoming more and more miserable... Aww... Everyone's leaving ='(

Justin FINALLY going to study. And the rest... Don't really know...? Life has become like a black and white film, colourless, soundless, and... Dull...

I guess I really hate people leaving... It makes me feel like the picture is missing a piece or two, like a flower losing colour... But... My room will forever be in pink and lavender...

I should really sleep...

Pray that my dad will land in Malaysia safely... Next... Week...

Lines and Lines Again

I have had enough of it!

Every since you came, everything became more miserable than it already is! If you don't want to be here, you can LEAVE, you don't have to stay if it wasn't YOUR choice! Why don't you just go away?! If you don't like it!

You can write a letter saying I QUIT.

That way, you and I, and everyone else will be happy.

I still wonder... Are you really an old virgin?

If you are, I think I know why.

Even if you do look like a China doll, you suck.

Yes... I'm helping SZN with the Skirt 2 book. DAMN. So many lines to draw... Only... Oh... Only a hundred pages to go! HOW FUN! I CAN'T WAIT TO CONTINUE DRAWING THOSE LINES!

Damn you... Why a book... We could have used a computer to do it, then go photocopy it or whatever. And why do we have to eat salt for the next coming generations? Hello? I know you're a virgin and you don't have kids to pamper, but, if the next coming generations are gonna have it easier than we already are... Then... I guess the principle can blow up the band building.

Actually, he can blow it up now.

Hmm... Lemme blabber bout my thoughts for a while, since I'm already here...

***

What does it have to do with the shoes you wear and how many pairs you have? 

Not a runner so why can't I jog? Must I run and faint later on? Because you forced me to?

Not a problem, but there is a problem.

Serious or not, smiling is illegal?

Then I wonder, how can you tell what I'm thinking? Because, you cannot, all you thought, was all wrong. 

My face, my head, my mind, my thoughts.

It wasn't him. 

It was 1,2,3,4... TURN AROUND...

If you were serious you wouldn't have done that.

If you were serious, we would have been more serious.

Then I wonder... Whose fault is it? 

It is either you don't get it, or I blame it on you for not understanding. 

***

When there's a friend, not really a friend, just a person you care about, I would rather know if she hates me or not. Because the feeling of not knowing... Liked or hated by that person you care about, is unbearable. What am I to her? And what is she to me? She doesn't know. I don't know. But it would be nice... If she showed that she cared. But then... Why... Would... She...? 

We're not even close... 

***

Okay...

Now that I'm done...

I'm gonna continue my work, and really, I DON'T GET PAID!

I would like to know, if I am hated by you...

Ever since the first time I saw you...

I wanted you to like me...

Post #300

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary Had A Little Lamb is so complicated... Mozart, 12 Variations on the Theme.

I actually feel pretty good today.

Maybe I just needed a walk in the rain.

Turns out, they still care, I'm so happy. It was just me again, and because of some other people, I was barely visible. Anyway... I still love them, couldn't bring myself to dislike them even one bit. Hah. I'm such a good friend? =X

Mozart was gay?

Who knows... But if it's true, then I guess I know why I love him =D

Obviously cause he is wonderful, and his name is cool too. Wolfgang. It would be so cool if I had a grandpa named Wolfgang. Ludwig isn't half bad... But I would never name my children those... It would sound weird in this century, and... I don't even think that I want kids... We are a handful! But we're fun...?

Don't know.

Moonlight Sonata is making me so depressed all of a sudden. As for the Mini Marathon tomorrow, screw it, I'm not going. Please, I can't even run ONE full round during morning warm up. Even if I do participate in that event, I'll walk. Why are we forced again? I don't get it... If they wanna make it successful, they should have NEVER planned the Mini Marathon, that way, EVERYBODY will be happy.

And why is Sport's Day delaaaaayed ALL the way till JULY?!

UGH

Can't we just get everything over with? So that I can live in peace for the rest of the year? I already feel hopeless about my teachers, and I don't want to make myself feel hopeless about MYSELF.

Why... Aren't... There... Any... Messages...?!

Never mind... I'll be spending Valentine's Day alone anyway, like I do EVERY year. No wait... I don't spend it alone... I spend it with chocolate, and anime, and books... Ooh, this year, I'm gonna spend it with sushi... Cradle Song is making me damn sleepy. Thanks a lot  Brahms.

Why all the classical music?

Mum was very thoughtful, when she went on holiday, she bought a 5 in 1 classical music disc set. So... Might as well listen to it. I don't feel Gaga right now, I just wanna relax...

I'm feeling REAAAL sleepy now...

But... Why... Still no messages... Usually, by this time of Friday... There would be one... Demo nande? Machigatte iru mono wa arimasu ka? Watashi no henshin! Onegai... Ore ga shinpai shite iru! Baka! Henshin... Onegai... Anata wa daijoubute iru koto o oshiete kudasai... Oshite kudasai!

I'm guessing none of you got what I just wrote...? I don't think that I get it either... It's broken Japanese... Practice... I guess...

I'm Still Waiting... 

It's... OVER?

I barely had time to enjoy... The time? It felt so dreadfully long, like it's been a year already, but... No... It has only been a... Week... And now, when I know that I have to go back to school tomorrow morning, I FEEL THAT THE WEEK WAS SO SHORT... I WANT ANOTHER WEEEEEEEEK!!!

=_=

I'm so tired... For some reason.

Maybe cause school is starting tomorrow, and I haven't done my math homework... I looked at the diagrams, GLUED my eyes to the diagrams, and I STILL DON'T KNOW which is which T_T

Since I'm such an useless, unromantically unromantic girlfriend, I will do ONE thing I THINK I can do... Well... I think I'll stop using swear words. Yes. I WILL STOP USING THEM. Okay... Uhh... DAMN is not included... Right? Cuz I really don't know. Hmm. So yeah... This is the LEAST I can do. About being in between anti-social and socially social, I can't do anything about that =D

WHOO

I finished copying the synopsis for each of the TWELVE chapters in Merdeka! Merdeka!

It was a pretty useless story if you ask me. All bout MELAYU MELAYU... And more MELAYU... God. I get SOOO bored seeing that word. UGH.

Chinese New Year holidays are over. Back to school.

AWWW MAN

At least I got something to do- practice for the scary trumpet exam this Saturday, and STOP my habit of swearing when I write. It's just ungirly. Not that I want to be girly or anything... It's... Well... I'm a girl? And girls... Should be... Girly? Or something...?

I'm just joking. I'll just quit swearing. I can't even be girly if I wanted to. I'm me. And I don't work that way. I can't fit into girly things =_= except for bras... Hmm...

RIGHT

ehhh... So...

It was nice when you all came to visit. But I'm sorry that I was just a lousy host. That's cause there was just SO many people, and I'm not close with HALF of my guest... And... Well... I don't talk much, don't know how to... NOT LIKE MY MUM T_T

Hmm...

People either quit drinking or smoking, but me... I quit swearing... ?

Guess quitting is good sometimes...

And they say be careful about what you say... Hmm... If you have really bad nightmares, remember what you said... That it is fine if I did it...

I just hate it when it's all over. People leave... And that makes me really sad... Cause...People are leaving... Every festive season... It becomes so crowded in my empty house, and when it's over... It quiets down, leaving that boring, wanna die atmosphere.

I don't hate people coming, I just hate people leaving. And because you can't leave if you don't come, I'll feel better by people not coming... It makes me sad... Cause... MY HOUSE IS SO GOD DAMN FAR THAT NOBODY EVER COMES!

Ahh...

Well...

Everyone's leaving soon...

Some sooner than others. Some just a bit later than the ones that go first.

Have a safe, and lucky, and whatever word that means good luck wherever you guys go～

Cause Imma miss all of you =D

BYE-BYE

In Case You All Come Knocking Post

I didn't get to watch the original version of I Spit On Your Grave. It was banned in... Probably the whole world =_=

I hope I downloaded the original uncensored version...  But... I doubt that I did... Hmm... We're all sadistic people. Go read the info on the film on Wikipedia. A 1978 movie... Why ban it? Guess I wont know... SINCE YOU GUYS CUT OUT SO MANY HORRIBLE THINGS FROM THAT MOVIE!

Click on this link to read it, if you're too damn bored.

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Spit_on_Your_Grave]

Turns out, the movie has a sequel =_=

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savage_Vengeance]

I don't get why they need to ban it.The world today is already so corrupted, and if men are having the fun raping and murdering women, then why can't women learn a few tricks or two? Of course... Nobody EVER agrees with me. Cause I'm cynic.

UGH

Never mind.

I wont be knocking on people's doors, but people come knocking at my door? GREAT. Make yourselves at home, cause, I wont be caring much. Sitting in the hall feeling awkward cause it's people you ain't familiar with... I'M SO EXCITED.

NOT!!!

Oh, and in case you all come at a bad time... I don't know, if my uncle feels like watching the original 1978 I Spit On Your Grave... Then I will obviously be watching it with him and my bro. Maybe grandma will be watching too... Unless you all wanna see some brutal gang rape and some sadistic revenge... My mum will be out in the hall chatting with you all instead of me.

In case you all come knocking... And hear those pained women sounds from the TV room... It wont be porn. It will be a woman, brutally gang raped. And if you hear men shouting, it's not vampires, it's a woman torturing them.

I already watched the 2010 remake of I Spit On Your Grave... So, I'm just gonna compare the two.

I can't wait!

Nobody cares about the RATED 18 AND ABOVE warning these days. I'm 15 and I have an adult content warning before you can enter my blog. What can I say... I'm me... And gosh... I'm a girl... While other women are from Venus, I for one, am from Pluto.

I've told countless lies, but the lie that I told the most is...

I HAVE READ THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS

What can I say...  WHO THE HELL WOULD GO READ THE GOD DAMN T&C?

Yeesh.

Here's a good night to all of you~

Always
Be
Careful
.
Don't
Ever
Forget
Girl
.
Happy
Involve
.
Just
Keep
Loving
Me
.
No
Other
Person
Quite
Reasonable
Shall
Treat
U
Very
Well
Xcept me,
You'll
Zee
.
.
.
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Alphabetz~

Weather... Is... KILLING ME

What happened? I thought that it was pouring a few days ago? It's now five in the evening and the Sun shines like it's freaking two in the afternoon!

The reunion lunch was over a few hours ago, few uncles, aunties, a five-year-old chatty, and a baby.

Now, I'm just waiting for the reunion DINNER.

My aunt will be back with her boyfriend tonight, so, it's another round... Hmm...

I'm not feeling it. The weather is killing me. YOU are killing me.

It's Chinese New Year... Nobody's free for the next few days. I feel like going swimming... UGH... Maybe tomorrow... Don't call me. Don't text me.

Suddenly, I feel like being stranded on an island. If I do, I will not panic... First, I will enjoy the beach, maybe go skinny dipping, since I'm alone... After that... I WILL PANIC...

Enjoy first, panic later.

They don't plant enough trees. I think I better buy a land now and plant trees so that when I move in 20 years later, I'll have giant trees everywhere =D Maybe dig a pond...

I know... It's impossible.

I have dreams too you know. Of course, it might not be like those which includes being CEO of some company, live in a giant house with a butler called Sebastian and a long-haired dog named Alexander...  I have something... Stupid-er in mind...

It's not stupid... Really... It's just... Me being a loner.

Ever read The Lake Isle of Innisfree? If no, then you are an idiot. What were you doing when the teacher was teaching?!

My dream is something like that. But of course, mine includes the Internet, and my laptop. And oh... Hot water shower... With a bathtub...

I'll be dreaming now... So, good night~ I'mma nap.

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee;
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.

William Butler Yeats