I totally forgot that since it's the school holidays already, my experiences here in Malacca can be written in my holiday journal! But damn, I forgot to get myself a new freaking notebook! Oh... No, it's not that I don't appreciate my birthday presents, I just have other uses for them :)
I've just finished watching The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and I've decided that I should get the novel, along with the whole Millennium trilogy; it's sexily twisted. The movie was too quick, and it was hard to know who's who since there were too many people involved! Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara did a really entertaining job. You guys should watch it if you haven't already.
Speaking about movies, Mr.Too has already planned a movie date for next January right after I come back from Australia! How thoughtful! We're going to watch Les Miserables if his college schedule doesn't screw up the time. It's not often that this guy wants to watch movies so let's hope that he'll be free to keep his promise, or else... Legos will fall...
Ah wow I've wasted enough time! It's late! I still have to Skype with someone!
I'm a bad title giver. Almost every post here has a title that doesn't sound like a title at all! During the times where I'm really lazy to think of a title, I just leave it blank.
Anyway, there is a naked baby dancing and singing in front of me. I'd like to take a photo for you pedophiles, but... NO. To please you though, here is a clothed picture of my lovely cousin. I'm using my mobile to blog, so I don't know where the picture will end up!
It's a rainy Saturday afternoon, my thoughts are still clear amidst the shrill sounds of screaming little demons called babies. I dislike babies. Babies dislike me. What could be the problem? I thought I'm cute as well? Never mind what I just said; was just being a bit -okay, very- thick-skinned.
My days here are coming to an end. It won't be long before I hop on the bus that would take me back to the place I call home...
Sigh...
It's not that I don't miss home... Okay, well, since Macadamia is here with me, I have nothing else left to worry about... Bah! That's not the point! It's just that I have nothing to go back to. My mum and little sis are enjoying life without me, my friends are the last ones I'd want to see and the band is the one thing that I never want to remind myself of. I have responsibilities; that's why I'm even going back.
I know that I can't back out now, so I might as well get this over with and quit the band the next chance I get! Is that what I really want? Hahaha! Of course it isn't. I want to stay, because it's the only thing I've ever known and joined. It's like a love-hate relationship. There are reasons why I want to continue being in this tormenting body and those reasons are more valid than why I want to leave.
I have low self-esteem, almost no motivation at all and I don't feel happy around the people there. I already separate my private life from the band, but after practices, they(the feelings of dissatisfaction towards people)come back and slap me, reminding me of how nobody really cares.
I'm going back. Don't say you miss me, because I know you don't. I Skyped you on your birthday, your card is still with me. I'm unsure if I should give it to you, with my letter intact. I wrote the truth. Not the happiest of all things.
At four in the morning today, the stabbing pains in my stomach woke me up. I tossed and turned in bed, mumbling that I'm sick to my sister. I woke her up to feel my temperature, and true enough, it was higher than usual. I went out of the room, shivering, and saw my cousin in the hall. He too, was sick.
Last night before I went to bed, I was stressed out. I could feel my eyebrows touching even when I fell asleep. I really don't want to go to Thailand on the 28th and so I thought to myself "I wish I could fall sick near that date so I don't have to go..."
My wish-granter failed me again but my wish somehow came true. I woke up with a high fever and a turning belly.
This time is the worst case of illness that I've gone through. In the past, fevers were nothing and I could still walk about and continue with my day. Today however, I couldn't move at all and whenever I stood up, I would vomit. All I did was lie down and shiver, calling my sister's name ever so often when I needed something. I haven't eaten anything today, just drank. My aunt helped me to scrape my back with a 20cents coin and some Chinese medicine to get rid of the hot air inside my body. I admit I felt better after that, but my head still hurt and my stomach was still being stubborn. I put a patch of Cool Fever on my forehead. Within minutes, it turned hot.
It is sad that in the afternoon, my sister got down with a mild fever. My other cousin too caught a fever.
I thought about my boyfriend and how much I needed him then. So I called him... I was really sad when there wasn't even a hint of worry in his voice. I cried. I wanted to tell him that I'm suffering, that I needed him by my side to take care of me since I was so weak that I couldn't do anything at all. I remember one time, he was sick and I stayed by his side albeit I wasn't much help, I kept him company. I guess I can't blame this busy college student... It can't be helped.
I really want my grandma to be here. She'd massage me and take care of me 24/7. I called my mum and pleaded her to come, but she just shouted at me. It hurt a lot. Much more than the boyfriend who didn't give much attention.
Oh god... I... I feel like puking
I just realised that I've been wearing my pants the other way around for the past few hours. Hmph.
I'm using my little Rei to blog again! But this time, I downloaded the proper Blogger app so things are easier. This application got bad reviews apparently, but oh yell, nothing bad has happened to me... Yet... If it malfunctions when I'm halfway through... Oh, it burns!
I haven't got over my bad mood so there is this itch to write. I can't seem to be content no matter how much I write or eat! My belly certainly isn't taking my recent eating habits very well. When will my suffering end?! Oh, damn it! What can I do to make it stop?! Period is going to visit in another two days or so, and it will-without a doubt- make things worse. Grr...
I want to write so much... So much... But there's not a topic that I want to stick to... Hm... Well, Lisa and I groomed Macadamia just now! We bathed my filthy little girl in Dettol and clipped her nails! She gave us a hard time... I ended up showering myself with Dettol as well... Bitch shitted and peed on me... Ugh :/
Facebook always asks me what's on my mind, but honestly, Facebook's a horrible listener so I always tell it random things like how babies hate me. Blogger is a better listener, so I give it more crap; elaborate on what I would tell Facebook.
Fuck. This app just gave me a mini heart attack. So, I checked my messages since my friend keeps texting me and when I reopened the app... BLANK!!! Then I went to my post list. Thankfully, it was auto-saved T^T
Anyway, gonna Skype now! I missed the birthday party because I left my phone in a random spot and proceeded to watch a Japanese movie. Yeah, I'm hoping to hear about everything I missed out on from a friend and think to myself "I never liked most of them" and I'll probably be truthful with this friend... She's the only one who listens. No. Not the birthday girl.
Ah, today, I'm blogging from something a little larger, my cousin's iPad. Yes, I am using something from Apple, the one brand that I hate most; I'm techcist against it. I call a MacBook a MacBitch.
While people back home are practicing their ass off for this year's TIMBC, I'm in a quiet neighbourhood that's far away from home, watching Mickey Mouse and Friends in my pyjamas, blogging at the same time. Macadamia seems to feel comfortable here as well, sleeping in anything that she can find. She doesn't seem stressed at all and she isn't losing any fur or quills. All is good except for the fact that I have no idea where to look for her poo and pee. This morning, my aunt even stepped on her shit! I don't know what's wrong, but she isn't shitting as much and I don't see her urine anywhere! Ah well, the cleaning lady is here; I am saved.
I gave my one-year-old baby cousin a bath last night. It feels weird to wash someone else's private parts, even if the person is just a baby. She must have felt ticklish when I washed her "down there" since she laughed. Truth be told, I felt like a fucking pervert molesting a little girl T^T
I just noticed that there's a line under F and J on this keypad. Why, did Apple think that blind people could feel them? Jjjjjjjjjjj well, I don't feel anything! Or do the lines have other purposes? Decorations, maybe?
Blogging every so often like how I used to shows that I have nobody to talk to. For the past year or so I haven't been active on here, but recently, things have changed and I find myself back here, talking to myself. Such a lonely world this is. When you don't have the time for something, you shouldn't do it, am I right? You shouldn't keep that task on your waiting list. It's selfish to do so, especially if it involves something that has a beating heart. If you choose to love something, make time for it even if you don't have time. I chose to love my pet, I chose to bring it home, and I always- no matter how tired or busy- have the time for it. I clean up after its shit and I still love it. There is one big difference between you and Me: I make time for my loves whatever the situation and you don't; you're a victim of situations, you depend on them.
Sigh... Sorry, just a moment of anger towards a person who supposedly loves me.
Anyway, in this ever so lonely world, even babies hate me; I dislike those whining creatures too so I guess it's only fair that they don't want me to hold their hands. My parents can kiss goodbye to grandchildren! If things get worse, they can kiss goodbye to a son-in-law as well but say hi to a petting zoo! Yay! My mum would never come visit me if I end up turning my house into a zoo; that woman is scared of just about anything that has fur and four legs. Also, she thinks that my lovely hedgehog is disgusting! I should be offended!
Why did I even choose to blog in the afternoon? I'm getting lonelier than I think! This isn't a very good thing to be proud of but it is true that I hate human companionship because not many comprehend my hot and cold personality. I have friends, yeah, but all they care about is whether or not I go to band practice. Even if I died, these people wouldn't even find out until they come to perform at my fucking funeral. Yes, in my eyes, my friends are like that. Unreliable.
Oh hey! I'm bloging from my mini Xperia Ray which will drive me crazy in a few minutes. The barely 2 iches wide screen is making typing a big problem for my meaty fingers!
I'm escaping my duties at the moment, spending time in a place far far away, not wanting to think about my responsibilities and the people who I have faced for far too long. I have another seven days to hide from the reality that I don't want to accept. Sigh. I am such a coward.
There is a reason why I am blogging, and it isn't because of my stress. I was actuannlly pissed off about ten minutes ago. HAH!
A little advice to the girls out there who want a boyfriend: stop wishing you had one, you're going to regret it as soon as you get one. It is EXACTLY the same as a child wanting to grow up sooner. Do you remember? When you were a child you couldn't wait to grow up because grown ups appeared cooler than the dirt-covered kid you were; you envied them. But now that you're all grown up, this isn't the shit you expected. Of course, there are a few rare moments when growing up was worth it. Okay so, get the
idea?
Do I regret my descision of getting a boyfriend? Indeed. I very much regret it. It is sickening in a way, when a relationship is like a never-ending cycle of revenge. It takes just one person to trigger this cycle; someone who can't forgive, someone selfish, someone ruthless... Who would ever date a person of such distaste, you wonder? Oh, a masochist of course, who enjoys the scolds and insults of his so-called lover.
Here are pictures of my precious love to cheer myself up.
THOU SHALL NOT CALL IT UGLY!
Wow, it has been more than a month already since I brought Macadamia home, but it sure feels lesser than that! Time sure flies, doesn't it? I wonder when time started moving so fast. The hours seem long, but the days pass by just like that, leaving me wondering about what I had done during those empty times a fortnight later... ANYWAY, let's get back to the topic.
Ah, Macadamia, my shitty-prickly-lazy-grumpy pet hedgehog. I try to introduce fruits and veges to her whenever I can, so far, I've found that she dislikes fruits. However, there was this one time when she drank my orange juice straight from my cup. I don't know if she liked it or not, but she doesn't usually go near things she dislikes. I think Macadamia only likes fruity drinks. I prepared grape-flavored Vitagen and a real grape one evening and put them right in her face. She only went for the Vitagen and not the real fruit itself. Hmph. Sadly, she dislikes my favorite fruit, the watermelon, but LOVES my most loathed food of all times, the hard-boiled egg. She gobbles down the yolk like there's no tomorrow! And the yolk is the one thing that I would never ever put in my mouth! ACKK!
Today, I've discovered that Macadamia likes KFC's coleslaw! I didn't intentionally feed her the finger lickin' good leftovers, she was the one who sniffed around and started licking the plastic cup. I was watching Brave in my room and I left my food on the floor. I didn't think that she'd like KFC =-=
I had my phone beside me so I took a few pictures~
I'm not sure if it's good for my pet or not, but I trust her instincts. Haha. I trust that she knows what's good for her and what's not.
My room smells of hedgehog food and hedgehog =-= Pardon the smell when you guys come and visit, kay? Haha, I hope that this will stop my mom from letting relatives sleep in my room! MUAHAHAHAHA!
To tell you the truth, I wasn't in the mood for blogging. I just wanted to share something about Macadamia.
Now, I want you guys to watch the movie, Bernie, and tell me what you think. In order for you guys to understand what I'll be writing, it's better to read about the story first. Here is the link to our favorite website, Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernie_Tiede. Well if you want to skip the whole article then I'll briefly tell you what it's about.
It's based on a true story, the movie; it's about a murder that happened 16 years ago in Carthage, Texas. 38-year-old Bernie Tiede had shot a 81-year-old widow, Marjorie Nugent, in the back four times. I had tears in my eyes when the jury pledged Bernie guilty in court; with Macadamia in my hand, I shouted at the screen "HOW COULD YOU! IT ISN'T FAIR! FUCK YOU! PUT YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES!" and I totally ignored my Ruffles and Ribena.
Here is the real-life interview:
I disagree with Bernie killing Mrs. Nugent because of greed. He didn't want her money. Mrs. Nugent's will stated clearly that after she dies, Bernie would inherit everything. Ah, but Mrs. Nugent was already giving him everything, they went on holidays together and he even had the rights to access her bank accounts so greed is indeed an invalid motive. I think I'd make a better investigator than that guy with the funny looking brows. Of course, another reason why I say that the motive wasn't greed is because if it was, Bernie would be spending the money on himself instead of on other people. He used Mrs.Nugent's money to HELP those in need, not spend it like there's no tomorrow! So what if Bernie had fantasized about Mrs.Nugent's death even before the shooting? Still it wasn't because of greed. She was just too possessive.
Also, being cultural didn't have anything to do with the murder. Hmph.
Now, about those relatives of Mrs.Nugent. They fought with her, hadn't talked to her in decades! Even sued her once. But when she died, they all showed up, and even sued Bernie for using her money? Now isn't that funny? To me, it's clear that they are the greedy ones. It's not Mrs.Nugent they cared about, it was her wealth, her properties. If they cared about bitchy old Mrs.Nugent, they wouldn't have ignored her for the past decade or so. One of them even said that Bernie was the one who distanced Mrs.Nugent away from them? Hah, from what I saw, Mrs.Nugent was already out of their lives way before Bernie came along.
Bernie was a church-goer, a man of the Lord. A man I would find repulsive because of his faith, and kindness. That is why him going to prison and sentenced for life is unacceptable! How can you put a man like that behind bars? It is true that he shot a poor old lady in the back four times, but it was a moment of mental disorder. They could have gave him a less severe sentence. Honestly, I do not understand how the law works, but I hate it. Hey, in my country, rapists get bail for as low as ten thousand dollars and when you kill a robber out of self defense, you get charged for murder. Kind of fucked-up don't you think?
Anyway, Mrs. Nugent was a control freak. She became so possessive of Bernie, he couldn't even leave her for a second! She used him as basically everything! He cooked for her, did her laundry, gave her manicures/pedicures, went everywhere with her, worked for her and all... Really, even I couldn't stand it during the movie. Bernie snapped. Shot her. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. It was over before he knew it. Then he stuffed her in the freezer, to preserve her body so that he could give her a proper burial if condition permitted.
Nobody, no matter how bitchy or evil deserves to get shot. I know. But what if you were in Bernie's shoes? Huh? I'm sure guys would relate to the issue better, since overly attached girlfriends are all over the place. Your overly-attached-girlfriend problem is only a pea compared to Bernie's Mrs.Nugent. It is legally wrong to shoot a person, but if it was a momentarily psychological problem, then it's plausible.
It's true that Bernie could have left Mrs.Nugent's side any time he wanted to, he couldn't because he was too kind. He was a sissy, to put it simply. Many people might not understand that, but I do. I know how it feels when you just can't bring yourself to leave a person no matter how bad he or she treats you.
I'm distracted right now as I'm on the phone, so I guess I'll have to end it here.
Anger, when it gets bottled up, you will snap, and you will regret.
I've got to stop watching those Taiwanese dramas! Darn my sisters for always hogging the tv and watching them, leaving me no choice but to watch as well. Once I start though, I can't stop... Thank God the series ended! I'm free! T^T
After the big happy ending, I finally realized why all of these dramas are ruining humanity. You don't get love like those every day, people don't fall in love like that and most of all, not every one is a freaking CEO of some big company! These kind of dramas often threaten guys and burden boyfriends because after having to see all the bullshit, girls will WANT love like that. We all know that those kind of guys we see in movies don't exist, but we still do some wishful thinking anyway. Hmph.
Taiwanese dramas, they:
Fill girls' head with fantasies that will never come true. Worse than the fantasy of owning a rainbow-eating Unicorn or a rainbow-shitting Narwhal.
Make girls 'play games' with their boyfriends, end up sad and depressed when their boyfriends can't take their shit and breakup with them.
Give girls ideas on how to be a drama queen.
Give girls ideas on how to fuck everything up.
Subtly changes one's thinking. Brainwash, to put it simply.
Unknowingly raise a girl's expectation of a guy.
Do much more damage than porn will ever do.
The last one wasn't really necessary... BUT WELL, IT'S TRUE! Also, just because I'm writing about Taiwanese dramas, it doesn't mean that Korean dramas are any better! They are on the same level of... Wait, Korean dramas are even worse. I will not speak of anime =x I don't usually watch Korean dramas and I don't listen to K-pop except for maybe... Well... Oppa Gangnam Style =-= BUT, Koreans are hot, don't you think? Plastic surgery or not, they are cute~ If Zongxu can't grow a beard like the Westerners, then I want him clean shaven like a cute little Korean! Even leg hairs are forbidden. So Xu, YOU BETTER GROW THAT BEARD!
I wonder what are my sister's thoughts? She seems to love to watch Taiwanese dramas a lot; that isn't the disturbing part though, what's disturbing is that she re-watches the same shit for about ten times! An example would be when she re-watched 下一站，幸福 four times. I wonder how corrupted that girl is... Ugh... Her friends are definitely air-heads with thoughts that some rich guy's son would fall in love with them. That isn't all, one of them even acts like the bitch you see in dramas =-= In case you don't know which sister I'm talking about, it's Lisa. Taiwanese dramas will someday make the average-male population desperate, loveless, and some might even turn gay because no girls will want them. By the year 2025, with all these brainless females walking around, the suicide rate of males will grow by 101%; just wait and we will see if my prediction stands correct. Ahh~ Another random fact about Rachel Cheong is that she secretly wants to date a Korean. Yes, before she dated her current hairy boy-boy, she wanted to wait until she found a cute Korean guy. Despite despising K-pop a lot, she wants a Korean; yep, it's sad truth that she will admit to nobody except her blog.
