Sunday, 31 July 2011

"I gave it up, but it was not enough, cause she never seemed satisfied..."

If you think that I only want you for that, then continue to think that way. I have everything to lose, so why would I want you like that.

I'm speechless. Clueless. What do I want, I don't know. What are my expectations, I don't know either. I'm never satisfied, and I know that, but it doesn't mean that you have to TRY and satisfy me every time, just what's the use if I never am. I just put the blame on you, I always start the fights, you just accept the blame... No matter what... You just take it...

I don't know what I want you to do. I have nothing I want you to do. Just do what you want, you're not my puppet. Free to leave anytime you want, but you just don't want to.

I have nothing to say...


I'm just too selfish, you'd be better off without me.

"She watched me try, at least a thousand times. If she love me she'd stop me but no..."

I just don't know what to say, my mind is blank, everyday we fight, it's like 5 days of war and 2 days of peace, how can you stand it... How can you stand me? You apologize every time even though you don't need to. I'm the one who should be saying sorry and feeling bad... Not you...

Losing your temper is fine, you've finally lost it, I've pushed you to the limit... I see...

Are the words "I'm sorry" going to help? I tell you. I tell you, but the next day when we wake up we'd fight again.

"She wanted someone that's perfect, okay... Can you tell me who is?"



Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Mashed Potato... FAIL

Now that the stupid trials for stupid PMR is almost here, tuitions are cancelled. While they expect us to study on our free days, I use my time to laze around and cook something I feel like cooking.

Today, I finally got my lazy butt up and made mashed potato.

It was... Not much of a failure, but it wasn't very successful either.

The potatoes were smooth and golden, like ice-cream... But... When it came to the gravy... DISASTER...

I thought it would be easy. You know... Oil, flour, water, salt, and stir... Oh well, like always, I didn't bother to measure properly how much to use, and the gravy turned out all... Floury... You could still see some chunks of flour sticking out here and there. My maid suggested that I add in STARCH FLOUR... To make it all sticky and stuff, and so I did. Although it LOOKED nice, it certainly did NOT taste the way it looked. Desperate to make the tasteless son of a bitch have some taste, I just grabbed a spoonful of salt from cupboard and threw in HALF the salt. Stirred it for a minute, and another taste... PUUUIIIK! SALTY SON OF A BITCH! After that... I gave up and added the gravy to the lovely mashed potato.

Once I mixed the potatoes and the gravy together, it turned out okay. The sweet sweet potato, with black pepper, basil and parsley, haa... I think I forgot how the gravy tasted. Mm hmm~

Okay... I cannot be a chef next time. And... Oh boy... I think I can't cook for my children either! AHHHH! What if they get food poisoning? O_O

Oh well...

Not to say that I suck, I'm better at cooking than most people xD and of course, I can confidently say that my cooking is better than my mathematics. Uhuhu.

My God... I have had enough potatoes for a week, even though I didn't finish what I made, I'm already stuffed. The power of potatoes. Potatoes are great for diets, mm hmm, starch doesn't digest easily, your tummmy can have a work out when digesting. Ehehehe.

My maid must be torturing me on purpose, she just told me that she is gonna cook POTATO SOUP for lunch tomorrow. Grr... I'll eat out...

I'll be making pasta next round. Hees, and that will be my second time~ First time making spaghetti was a success! YES!

I used to hate pasta, but now, I just feel like having it everyday. I can't wait to taste the tomatoes~


Friday, 22 July 2011


Thanks to Chinese class, I am inspired yet again. I think I LOVE my Chinese textbook, LOL, so many interesting stories. Too bad... I can't understand them on my own =_=

第二十二课,向神农致敬。By 何乃健。

I really wanna become a farmer. Hmm, without those skinny people who plants paddy and harvests them... We'd all starve to death.

A ball of cabbage is only worth twenty cents. The rest of the money we pay goes to the person selling you cabbage~ How sad. 这是什么世界阿?!

Farmers should get paid more. I pity them, and my future self.

Lawyers and CEOs should earn less money. All they do is sit inside an air-conditioned room and watch porn while pretending to look at the papers which need to be signed. SO WHAT IF THEY GROW GRAY HAIR AND HAVE WRINKLES?! They go for facials, spas and they eat good food. $50,000 a month, maybe more.


Working all day, UNDER THE HOT SUN, bending their backs, blood sucked by leeches. More gray hair, more wrinkles, and they are just skin and bones. They don't go for spas, they sometimes eat field mice. Less than $1000 a month.


I will marry a 90-year-old billionaire. After a year of NOT sharing a room with him, I'd give him a heart attack. Then when he sleeps in the ground, I'll inherit his fortune. I get the mansion and the maids all to myself. MUAHAHAHAHA. Then, I will use the overly large piece of land to PLANT crops. I will build a nice hut for each of the farmers I hire, and provide them food, drinks, clothes... Condoms...? =_=  Everyone would be happy. I'd be a widowed 30-year-old, with a farm mansion =_= I can always remarry to Zongxu xD not that I'd want to.


I hope that ALL the farmers worldwide will go on strike. Refusing to plant and harvest or whatever. Keeping themselves alive instead of feeding the useless society. Make us APPRECIATE FARMERS and DON'T WASTE FOOD. Who says that only useless people become farmers? Huh? If they are so useless, don't let me see you eat rice, or vege.

That's it for now.






Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Just a Kiss- Lady Antebellum

Just sharing another song with you guys, since I know that somebody is TOO lazy to go listen on his own, I'll just post it here so that the stalker would hear it.

Lyin' here with you so close to me
It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe
Caught up in this moment
Caught up in your smile

I've never opened up to anyone
So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms
We don't need to rush this
Let's just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
No I don't wanna mess this thing up
I don't wanna push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time
It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
No I don't wanna mess this thing up
I don't wanna push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight
I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
No I don't wanna mess this thing up
I don't wanna push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

Monday, 18 July 2011

Not so Bluey Monday

Yes! I skipped my least favorite day of school today. Snoozed till 12.42 this afternoon. Ah, I just love going on trips, so when I come back, mum says I can skip =D

So... Yesterday... Yes, I went for the NATCOMP finals at Stadium Bukit Jalil... That is where it is held right? I forgot =_=

I didn't know I needed a ticket to go in, but, even after I knew, I acted like I didn't know.

I went JUST so I could see Sultanah Asma and the school doing the show about my mama Monster. But... I already felt sleepy during the second half, so when it was finally time for Sultanah Asma, my eyes were only half open =_=

Monster Gaga was a failure. I just liked the part where they danced >_<

The color guards ruined my mood to watch their show. When I saw them... I was like... O_O WHY ARE THEY ALL WRAPPED UP?! So... So... So... SAD T^T they should have worn the bubble-dress, I wont complain if they wore the meat-dress =_=

I like the band with the FURRY HATS =D they looked so cute, like those FAT CAT TAILS~ The band had a neat formation, waaa, so round~

That was about all I could remember... Oh... And, I remember the school with the plumpy soloist, and a super round trumpeter~ Tee hee~ The way he walked was so cute, I thought he'd slip, but he didn't. Wow, I admire that T^T

I don't know why, but... I really hate going to Times Square.

The 'surprise attack' was a failure. I surprised nothing, and attacked nothing. I didn't dare strangle him in public. Oho, if it were some place quiet, I'd do so many things to him. Hehehe, I just thought of something. ...WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS GENIUS IDEA YESTERDAY?! ARGH!

Anyway, I spent some time with my now bushy-haired Zongxu. Though the only thought in my mind was to strangle him, I managed to let him live. It must be very long since I last saw him, he has hair now... Very bushy too. Planning to keep a beard apparently. I wonder if it will grow all curly like his sideburns O_O oh no, if it grows all curly... It'd be like...


Oh hell?!

Imagine what would happen when he sleeps next time... The beard will get all tangled up, some might even fall on the bed.

He'd need an extra bottle of shampoo, a special comb, and some beard care product. I WILL NEVER SHARE MY COMB WITH HIM! If I have one.

Oh... Zongxu will have to shampoo his beard after each meal. Boy... What a waste of shampoo! And if anything gets stuck inside, how will it get out? Eww... Mosquitoes would die inside, flies and other bugs too.

Then when he kisses me, I'd get rashes! When he hugs me, I'd get rashes on my neck! And if we sleep together, I might find beard-hair in my hair O_O


I don't have anything against people with beard and Santa Claus okay? I was just thinking about... The bad things that would happen if someone kept a beard. It's okay if the beard owner keeps it clean and stuff, but... We all know men aren't exactly the cleanest. Wearing the same underwear for two days... EWWWW... Even if it is turned inside-out... Still... WRONG... 


I think I might be getting sleepy. 

Funeral again tomorrow. YES! Don't get me wrong here, I'm not happy that someone died, I'm happy that I can get RM10 =_= I'm so cheap~

My Chinese calligraphy is still unwritten... Ah damn... I guess I'll go write it now.

Weird dream today. I still feel guilty, I knew it... I knew it... I KNEW IT! I DID HAVE A CRUSH ON THAT GUY BEFORE! Aha! Rachel Cheong! You are in trouble! HE SO OLD! =_=

Another day another finding.

When I was a KID:

Pussy meant CAT,

Sex meant GENDER,
 Bitch was a FEMALE DOG,
Dick was a NAME,

was a NICK-NAME,
Bang was a SOUND, 
Rubber was just like PLASTIC, 
Ass was an ANIMAL, 
Screw was just a NUT,

was a SNACK,
Head meant a part of BODY !!

But Now ____________

Everything is just damn complicated

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Random Thursday in July

Monthly exams are OVER! But this time, it isn't "YAY! Let's skip school and go on holiday!" in fact, this time it's "Oh shit no! Trials are almost here! Oh God! Oh God! And after trials, the real thing will be here! Noooo!" =_=

I forgot what I did today, the whole day was BLURRY for me. Half awake doing everything. I think I had a ballroom dance with Winnie in class. Hmm... Did I bitch-talk about people today... Most likely YES, because... There isn't one day in my life that I'm not crapping about somebody, even if it's the same old crap, it just... Never gets old.

I love surprises, we all love surprises. I wonder how well I can plan a sneak attack. Uhuhu, I'm such a cheeky girl. I have something in mind... I just hope that I'm not too late D=

I know I always say this... But... Jesus, if you make it happen, I swear, I will follow mum to church. Okay, FINE, I'd just go for ONE session... Sheesh. So... CAN YOU MAKE IT COME TRUE?! I'm not asking for much, oh no, I don't want first place, I just want a SURPRISE ATTACK =)

Oh yeah, guess what...


Even though it is laughable, because the questions are damn easy, I'm happy that I passed, and it is your business that you make fun of my stupidness. Hey, at least I got 12/30, and not 3/30 like SOMEBODY. Whatever, I'm happy that I'm able to pass.

Ahh, I finally watched The Roommate. I now have the ROOMMATE PHOBIA. When I go to college next time, I wanna live with someone I know, or just live alone, or just live with a dog! Ahhh! I don't wanna have a psycho hot lesbian roommate... I JUST WANNA HAVE A HOT LESBIAN ROOMMATE! Minus the PSYCHO... Shivers... Crazy bitch...

I wanna try something next time... If I get the chance to go to a bar, I'd look at a girl, and hope she looks at me too. Then, I'd follow her into the restroom. When she talks to me, I'd get closer and closer to her. Then when she applies her lipstick, I'd ask her "What flavour?" and have her lend it to me. Holding the lipstick, I'll ask her whether or not I can taste it. When she tells me to go ahead, and leans her face closer to mine, I'd kiss her. And then, go back to her place. Ah, the perfect plan.





I helped to hit myself so mum won't have to chase me and strangle me because of my abnormalness. She always complains about this. But... I'm not writing nonsense... Okay, maybe I am... But, this is me, so if I'm weird, I can't help it, not everyone in this world is normal ya' know. I'm just the special type who needs a bit of tightening, or maybe I just lost a few screws growing up.

I'm so bored. Mr.Too is asleep already.  I can't share my thoughts anymore. Aww... That bastard loves lesbians. I'll say no more, or else he is going to kill me and have my blog reported. Hah... Lesbian Loving Little Fucking Pedo-Pervert Drummer Boy...

Oh my, Zongxu's nickname gets worse everyday. At first, it was just... Little Fucking Drummer Boy. Ah, I guess he already naik pangkat~


YES! I'm Pikachu's... Uhh... IDK what...

Anyway, have a good night, and enjoy your dreams.

May Lady GaGa be in your dreams teaching you English, and Katy Perry kiss you so she could taste your cherry chapstick, while dancing with Britney Spears and Ke$ha till the world ends. Throw a grenade at Bruno Mars, and a dynamite at Taio Cruz while you both are getting higher. Love the way Eminem lies to you that he needs a doctor.


Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Post #349

Second day of the monthly test, I have a good feeling that Pn.Choo won't be happy with our history test scores. Whee~ I studied, but only ten question came out, ten to twenty, but... I forgot everything when it came to the SUBJECTIVE part. I think... I think... I even wrote... Datu Patinggi Abang Haji bin Datu Patinggi Mohammad Kassim... One heck of a long name, which I think... IS THE WRONG ANSWER... =_=

I forgot the rest of the names, I got HALF of Sir something somthing Clarke's name right =_= HEY, at least I got the Rukun Tiga Belas thing right, +1 mark  T^T

Science was easy... I think...

Ah... Skipped tuition again today. AGAIN.

I feel kinda dizzy... Ahhhhh~

Currently downloading... X-Men: Origins. The Witches of Oz... And... Dragon Age Ultimate Collector's Pack...

So... I was bored and I desperately need new RPGs to play... So I Googled for games as usual... Then the results were all like... Dragon Age II... Dragon Age: Origin- Awakening... And more Dragon Age... So.. Wikipedia time~

Mm hmm... It had good comments and stuff, positive ratings, nice story and fantasy world and stuff... So.. I got the mood to DOWNLOAD DOWNLOAD DOWNLOAD @_@

Ahhh, I think... I'll play after my PMR. I'll just download it, and extract, and mount and stuff... Another important thing before I start playing is... I NEED TO UPGRADE MY LAPTOP.

So yesh, I have decided, I will follow Mr.Ngoo Big Head's recommendation and change from this stupid Vista, to Windows 7~ And also add more RAM to this thing... Huhuhu... I wanna play the games so badly +_+

I wonder if I should try American McGee's ALICE, and the sequel: Alice:Madness RETURNS. Well... That's what happens when I stalk people... I stalked my cousin for a bit, he has a Xbox 360, and he is playing Alice: Madness... So... Ah, WIKIPEDIA again... Now, I wonder why didn't me and my cousin become good friends, he watches anime too~

Eh... I'm not sure about these shooting and killing stuff RPGs... They... Scare me =_= especially those like Left 4 Dead and Resident Evil. I mean I don't mind if it's Justin Bieber I have to shoot, at least he doesn't look all bloody and scary as hell! AHHH! The Witch from Left 4 Dead. NOT COOL. I tried playing a vampire hunting one... But... I ended up screaming and covering my face. I swore never to play these undead-hunting games. As for The World of Warcraft, I have no idea what items to buy, so I gave up.

I think something is wrong with me... Why... Do I like playing RPGs... Shouldn't I be playing with... Barbies...?

Ah, tomorrow... I'm going to watch The Borrower Arrietty tomorrow. I wonder if I should download Transformers: Dark of the Moon... Oooh, 6.7 on IMDb... Not bad I guess... Okay... DOWNLOAD~
Hehehehe... Movies, movies, movies, movies~


I haven't forgotten about REICHERU'S DIETING PROJECT. I'mma buy a book, and write down everything I eat, starting... Sunday. But that doesn't mean I'm still eating McDonald's okay? I had half a cup of bird's nest and a bown of Corn Flakes before I went to school. My bento today was... Grapes, oatmeal biscuits, and a wholemeal bun, I drank barley for recess. Lunch was porridge, with fish and egg, I had half a glass of soy milk during lunch. Dinner will be porridge again, but I'll drink 0% fat strawberry yogurt.


Did I seriously eat only just those stuff...? Okay, I gotta admit... I... I... I... I... CURI-CURI MAKAN two pieces of Lap Cheong(臘腸) >_< NOTHING ELSE! I SWEAR... Maybe... Soy sauce, pepper, and black pepper... And... Uh... The fish I had was... FRIED >_<

I never exercised today... Maybe I'd do... A few crunches... I... I... I... I CAN'T DO SIT UPS >_<

Poor abdomen muscles...

Will my mum PLEASE shut up about me studying. The hell like I care, what if I study? Not like I will ACTUALLY ABSORB THE CRAP I READ! Heck, if I want to study, I WILL... OKAY?! NOW WILL YOU JUST STOP BUGGING ME?!

ARGH! I hate this!

NEVER MIND! At least my mum saved you guys, she made me lost the mood to blabber.



That reminds me, I need a new webcam, and a mic.


Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Reicheru is... on... DIET?! O_O

Everyday people would ask Reicheru "Hey, when will you go on diet?" and she'd just shrug and roll her eyes telling them that she could care less. But recently, Reicheru has been thinking about GOING ON A DIET, and she is dead serious about it. WOW. What the hell happened to her?!

Ah... It all started with Skype.

After so many stupid updates, she downloaded Skype on her Vista again... DING~ it works. Video calling and voice calling for the past few days. Having such a tiny boyfriend, who is only skin and bones, Reicheru can't possibly BE together with him when she is... Plumpy, and chubby. She just felt... Depressed, and decided to go on ad diet. Fatless boyfriend doesn't mind Reicheru being chubby, because he says that she's cute and cuddly that way, and he loves her just as she is~ but, Reicheru still insists that she slims down, if she does, EVERYBODY will be happy. 

Reicheru says "I'll be able to wear a bikini now~" +_+

Exam week for Reicheru, although it is just a three-day thing, she still has to study for history and geography. She looks at the timetable and tells herself "Bleh, nothing worth reading, I'll get better grades than those who actually study anyways" but when she looks at the papers, she'll be like WTF?! I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED! 

After the first day of the test, which is today, Reicheru feels like she will fail maths... AGAIN. This time, maybe she'll even fail moral and civic. Out of the 20 questions for civic, she only knew the answer to 2 questions, she's a failed Chinese, she realized then that she knew NOTHING about the Chinese tradition and bad fortune... So much for being yellow...

After buying wholewheat crackers, breads, and buns, she went for oatmeal biscuits and 0% percent fat yogurt drinks. Poor Reicheru, she knows nothing about BEING HEALTHY, so she just bought what she thought was healthy. She could gain more weight if she does this wrong... Ahh, let's all pray for the chubby girl.

I wonder if anyone else noticed, but... Haven't Reicheru changed... A LOT...?

I guess it's true what they say, love changes a person...

Reicheru... Is into girly stuff now. She even applied BLACK nail polish on her toenails. The girly Reicheru is in LOVE with dresses, and she's just looking for more to buy. 

This... This... This... This... Person... I don't even know who she is anymore. She isn't everything she thought she was after all. In fact, she IS everything she thought she ISN'T... or... WASN'T... But, good thing though, she still doesn't like being in pictures or cam-whoring, and she's not a self-portrait slut. I guess there's some part of Reicheru left.

The transformed Reicheru is currently busy with the health thing, and her studies. Yes. Reicheru actually studies now... For... 15 minutes then she gives up and does something else =_=

Reicheru, Reicheru, Reicheru... Just... Who are you...?

Datu Patinggi Abang Haji Abdillah bin Datu Pattinggi Haji Mohammad Kassim... 

WTF?! Is that your name + your dad's name + your mum's name??? Your freaking name is longer than all my three children's added up together! And... If I have to write your name out tomorrow for history... I WILL SO KILL TENGKU! I don't even know Najib's full name. Heck, I played manguli with him before I was born. 


Monday, 11 July 2011

The 7 Minute Post

I accepted the challenge from Mr.Too. I have to write more than him in 7 minutes.


I'm in the middle of playing Aveyond, I got stuck for long, I couldn't take it anymore and went for help online. Turns out, I have to talk to the squirrels.

ANYWAY... Today...


I would love to upload a few pictures, but... 7 minutes is a damn short time. HAHAHA. I'm sorry I made fun of you T^T



Well, mum, bro and Sarah went to Ipoh today, and they say that they'd be back by 4. but you know what? I just heard the gate creaked... Like... NOW.

My... My... My...

Exam starts tomorrow, I think I forgot everything I read this morning... I only studied for like... half an hour, before I said "ah, alright, this is enough studying for one day!" and turned on my laptop.

BUT WAIT. I didn't play my lappy from morning till now... I... Uh... HAD BRUNCH... Played the piano, and made lime juice.





Oh... Err... I have two minutes left, according to my time.

Oh well... I guess... I'll end it now.

Hey, Zongxu, how's Joe? Is he okay? Have you guys done anything yet? Mm mm? Hmm? Are you two sleeping together already? I hope the Princess doesn't feel too sad that she lost her lover. Ohohohoho~


Monday, 4 July 2011

The Imaginative Mind

All sorts of people, colours, and stuff... That mysterious, calm guy, is his name Joe? Maybe you'd both end up together.

Yes, I'm thinking about all sorts of things. It's like... I never get tired of matching you with someone else, be it a girl or a guy. Things may seem out of place cause you're not gay, but... Oh well, at least things work out in my head. Stop saying that nobody will fall for you, Jia Xun already caught so many fishies O_O are girls these days attracted to big heads...? Maybe there are some who LOVE small heads too. Ikan bilis~


Not thinking...

Not thinking...

Not thinking...

Not matchmaking...

Not matchmaking...

Not matchmaking...


Muahahahahahaha O_O

Things don't look too good. Ouch. It hurts so much, can you imagine? Luckily, I WILL ALWAYS HAVE HER T^T even if she's just a friend, I STILL HAVE HER!

Joe... Joe... Joe... Joe...

Yuuna... Yuuna... Yuuna...

Stephanie... Stephanie... Stephanie...

Suu... Suu... Suu... Suu... Suu... Suu...

Koi... Koi... Koi... Koi... Koi...

Hie... Hie... Hie... Hie... Hie... Hie...

Yes. I am bored.


Going for LEOmazing Race on the 16th, so will be missing the final for the Astro star thing, wasted ticket. Probably not going for NATCOMP finals either, since I'll be tired on the 17th anyway... Oh yeah, mum, I forgot to tell you, I have a test next Tuesday, I HOPE YOU DON'T FIND OUT! >_<

709, aww, I wanna attend, and starting tomorrow, I'll try to wear as much yellow as possible xD But... Too bad, I... Only... Have... ONE yellow T... I don't have a yellow bag, or cloth, or gloves. I have a yellow lunchbox and bottle. I don't have yellow bras or underwear. No yellow pants either. I guess... I'll wear... Idk... Those dull colours to show how disappointed I am.

Even if we hate her as our maths teacher, at least show her some respect? Her family member just passed away for crying out loud! And she's dressed like she just came back from Hell! Everything BLACK, even her bag and shoes and SOCKS are black! DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW WHAT'S UNDERNEATH! AND NO! I AM NOT INTERESTED IN OLD WOMEN!

I forgot what else I wanted to say all of a sudden. DAMMIT.

So frustrating, I cannot be with a guy like you. You piss me off every single time... WITH something that interests me... ARGH! I just wanna bite you, so you'd know how frustrated I am. I don't know why she doesn't like you, but I guess she's right, I don't even like you! ARGH!

Take seven deep breaths...




I have no patience at all, and you know what? Mum will look at me tomorrow saying "why didn't you tell me you have a test next Tuesday? Now... GO STUDY AND SHUT THE STUPID LAPTOP! @#$%^&*()__+"...

Me: Hey mum, I wanna go to 709 =D
Mum: ... ... ... 3 8!
Me:... ... ... D= 


Sunday BLUES

Somehow, my Sundays are always gloomier than Mondays. It's like "Dude... I slept at 6 yesterday, and today you want me to get up at 6?!" I always hate the feeling.

I could have fell asleep, if only I didn't have Nescafe during tea just now. Ah and I thought I could fall asleep at 10pm, it's one and a half hour pass ten...


I blabbered so much on the phone, I didn't even care that there was NOBODY on the line. I just kept on talking to myself, hoping for a reply which I knew would never come. In the end, I pressed the DISCONNECT button on the pink bean-shaped phone. Funny... Wasn't there nobody on the line...?

After hanging up... I couldn't make myself sleep. I felt so desperate, I wanted to do something, anything at all, but when I got out of bed, I realized that there is nothing else left for me to do. The glowing screen on my desk, tempting... So I sat down on the hard chair which made squeaky noises every time I moved my butt. Annoying.

What else to do... I feel so demotivated.

Facebook... 0 Notifications, 0 Inbox.

What happened to the Inbox (1) I wonder... I really miss that. But I guess... We're both just busy.

Clicking... Clicking... Clicking...

Ended up on Blogger again, because I didn't feel like OMGPOP-ing or playing Aveyond. I know that if I logged on, I would never go to sleep. I didn't go to Omegle, because I don't wanna talk with strangers anymore, it scares me... Unlike before. I miss Farragomate, but what to do? It's just so unpopular that nobody plays it. I would check my G-Mail, but I know that my inbox would be empty, it's been almost a year or two since that person e-mailed me. Then what about Hotmail? It would be filled with Facebook notifications and spam mails instead of REAL e-mails. I thought about watching anime, but I'd just get in trouble if I wake my mum up in the next room.

Stumbled upon a video on somebody's blog, so watched it on Youtube.

Strangers, Again.

Some of the parts reminded me of myself, the things I'd say when I was unhappy. I think... I'm the one screwing things up, Stage 4, choose how to get through it. But I guess... I'm doing everything wrong, I wonder if it's okay to try to fix things... But... It's going to be harder now. We are both going to get busier starting tomorrow. It wont be like "Honey, I'm home, call me", I'd just take a look at my phone, see if there's any messages. The thing that hurts me the most is looking at my wallpaper when I peek at my phone, because... There's Mr.Haha and my specs, with no messages or anything, just a blank, lonely picture. The thing that gets me frustrated is that I always get messages from DIGI, instead of the person I want to get texts from.

Another regular Monday for me, a new semester for him.

We wont be able to spend that much time together anymore, it'll be like last time, good-nights at 10. The difference between NOW and BEFORE... Looking at my previous journals, I laugh at myself. "I will never EVER fall for that guy! He is such a bitch! I WON'T EVER EVER LOVE A GUY LIKE HIM!", look where I am now... Look where you are now, RACHEL CHEONG!

I will go flip through the memories of 09 again, the time when Red was everything I cared about, the time when you were the only one I relied on... Funny, I've always relied on you, even now...

Stupid as I am and was...

Good night.

Refreshing my memories for a bit so I can mail my latest journal ASAP!

To have a lot, or nothing at all.
If it were you? 
A lot, or nothing at all? 


Sunday, 3 July 2011

My Week

I would love to describe my past week with the ONE word I love most- SAME. But, my brother had to throw a birthday party on Friday, so... I can't use SAME T^T

Friday... 1st of July, Sarah's birthday, but Dennis decided to celebrate their birthday together since his birthday is not far away, 7/7.

It was...





It was like... AHHHHHH! SO MANY PEOPLE... I scared myself.

While waiting for SZN, me and Jesvin took some food and ate INSIDE cause... There was too many people, and she didn't want to see those ACS people.

So... My bro's iPhone got stolen. YAY. Maybe he learnt his lesson... BUT I DOUBT IT. He never learns. Hehe. Something stolen at your own party. HAHAHA WTH MAN! I know, I'm not helping.


I was busy in my room playing Draw My Thing and Letterblox on OMGPOP. LOL. I missed the site, been such a long time since I logged in T^T


Yes... It's the start of July, closer and closer and closer to my PMR trial... Closer to PMR... But, oh well... I'm watching more anime and reading more manga. Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi and Gosick ended... I hated their endings, so I can't accept the fact that they ended, and that is why I'm reading the manga...

Blood-C is another new anime that only started airing recently, thanks again to SZN for recommending Blood-C. Hehe, she also introduced me to watch Togainu no Chi and Gosick.  But... I STILL WONT GO KOREAN!!!!!!!!!!

Blood-C... Sucked. I know I can't tell much from the first episode, but... The first episode was... BORING. So predictable, and so SLOW moving. The main character is so neardy-looking, it made me lost the mood. Blood + was better. They just had to ruin things by making up an anime called Blood-C...

ANYWAY... Ahhh, I shouldn't be doing things like this when I'm suppose to be studying...


Why do I need to sit for ANOTHER monthly test if my trial exam is just... Another month away? Isn't it just stupid? I'm gonna get shouted at for getting bad grades again. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS SAVE ME THE TROUBLE AND JUST SKIP THE MONTHLY TEST?! @#$%^&*


My birthday is gonna be relaxing this year, it's after PMR =D So I can skip the next day, or the rest of the week =D I'll just go get another MC from the doctor =D


I'm thinking about... Not celebrating. Well... Maybe... Cook something for myself and a few friends... And that's it. No fancy big party like my bother and sister, no getting $200 presents or a dozen Domo-kun =_=

Ehehe, inviting four and a half months in advance, hope you'll make it back. Which I doubt you will. There's always things more important to do. Mm hmm. Let's all hope you get a Deepavali holiday =D


If there was a knowledge tube thing that allows me to download knowledge into my head, and lets me delete it whenever I want... I WILL SO GET IT... But, nah... They wont ever invent something like that. Unless... We all become robots. !!! That would be bad... I don't wanna eat oil everyday! Even if it's burger flavored, it'll still be oil! AHHHH!

Why am I not asleep? Bet Aunty Owl is already asleep, and she had Starbucks! Gah! I'm nocturnal. The bbq just now didn't help much... I'm hungry again... Uyuyu...

Funeral tomorrow... AGAIN.

Why do people keep dying around here?

My sisters want to go for funerals... Maybe I should just let Sarah take my place tomorrow. Sheesh. They don't ask "Who WANT to go for funeral" they just ask "who CAN". Of course, everyone can, we just don't want to... Nah... Anyway... I go cause I want the $10.

After that... I'll have ice-cream, and my $10 will fly... =_=

My, my... It's almost 4 already, I am so disappointed in myself. Why can't I be normal and sleep at 9? Is it cause I slept from 4 to 7.30 just now?

IDK... I just wanna go hug Suzuki-san. I wonder if I should get Zongxu a human-sized doll... So he wont have to rub his bolster... Hmmm... I have plenty of time to save up before his birthday =D

Have a... Good... MORNING?! >_<

I hope my clock is wrong =x


I look like a panda O_O