Saturday, 31 July 2010

Beach Visiting As a Ke Po Friend

Been two years since I've been to the beach... Wait... I think I just went with Jessica six months ago? I guess that doesn't count? Cause, the beach was, under construction???


Finally got my wish of going to the beach, I just LOVE the smell of the sea, although, it kinda smells like fish, and salt, I think I still have salt in my nose. ==

The waves today, BIG, really big. Went to Segari, the turtle caring center or something like that. The water there is clean, WAAAAAAY cleaner than Teluk Batik, at least you don't have plastics and bottles everywhere. Not even on the shore.

Yes, the.. Salty? Cool water, how long? I've tasted such... Salty? Water?

Okay, that just came out... WRONG!

It was fun, even if all I did was sit in the water, flow with it, and drown in it ==

Funny thing, a monkey stole our food!

A bunch of grapes, and you know what? It was kind enough to leave three grapes behind. Took an apple too. Had one bite of guava and left the rest. Damn that monkey! Why didn't it go steal the BBQ stuff the other family had?!

No, no. I didn't go with my family, I went with Lian Hui's. I just sorta tagged along, a ke po that was there during a family trip :D

Nothing much, cause, I forgot what I wanted to say, I'm sleepy, it's almost 2.


So, how was the KFC band thing? I didn't watch cause, my gay bro wanted to watch My Bloody Valentine that was on(I wanted too xD BUT, I protested, and, I FAILED T.T)

Dammit, he kept repeating...

''Man, you guys could've been on ESPN... And... It's LIVE!''

Friday, 30 July 2010

Rac's SEVENTH Mail


Just finish watching this ghost movie, about black magic and all that, the usual geli-geli Thai ghost story. Well... It was a waste of time, my friend's cousin from Thailand bought it, cause I told my friend I wanted to watch ghost movie, so, her cousin bought. WELL... There was no subs, and, we watched the damn thing for one and a half hour without knowing the REAL story...

Yes, yes, I know, I know, very geng~

Haha, I think I need new specs. Well, this one is fugly(Fking ugly) when its on ME. I look dumber. I don't wear contacts cause, I have small eyes, which makes it hard for me to push the contacts in. I tried wearing them once, took 8 girls and one hour to get both into my eyes. Now I know, I am NOT suitable to wear contacts. They suck, and yes, I'm just saying this so that I can feel better.

The menu has only three things? What a nice way to save the Earth, each menu needs only... Hmm... Less than half a paper :)

Yes, I think every 'Sizzler' outlet should have HER picture, and a warning that says :




Have a nice day :)

I thought he was born fussy? He looks like the serious type, which he is. Oh well...

No, my friends don't like making me feel good. Cause, I don't like making them feel good either, I don't see the point of making people feel good by lying. Well... I guess I just enjoy the look on people's faces when they hear the truth. The truth can be an awful thing sometimes, you know? I just lie to teachers, when I don't do my homework... I HATE MATH... Sometimes, being straight is NOT a good thing... Why? I guess people like lies to make them feel better. Idiots. Hey... I just did that... Oh well, I'm an idiot anyway~

Yes, haha, mummy doesn't like ANYTHING fun. Weird, I never realized that... Till now :D

Yea, I'm going tomorrow evening at 4, with my friend's family? Is that a weird thing? Guess not~

The beach is full of THEM, they claim to be the 'Prince and Princesses of the Earth' what a buncha crap. WELL, the religious fanatics aren't really religious fanatics at all, they just... Like causing problem for the country, that's all. Seriously, they can't live without causing problems, can they? Hypocrites. They use THEIR God's name for this shit and that shit... They're gonna end up in hell anyway, let them enjoy themselves for now, they can suffer for eternity ^^

Oh? You don't know where it is? But, mum said that you both used to go there, when you two was young? Hehehe, you sure you don't know? Or, did you just remember ? Haha!

Nothing much, the usual, school, band prac, school, band prac. HALF the day... Almost the WHOLE day is spent in school...

We eat in the school,

We play in the school,

We talk in the school,

We sleep in the school...

It's like an old ugly home.

It's not THAT bad... But... You get the idea.


You know me, I wont re-do my room, cause, I'm lazy.

Nah, the main reason is I don't have the time and... I'm lazy.

Well, if I get a few people to help me out, I guess I can do it. Just in case if you're gonna suggest to have my FRIENDS help me, I'd rather not. Cause, I guess I'll paint them instead of the walls... A one man show eh? I'll think about it... Oh, mum will pay for the things right? like paint and all that? Hehe...

Well, I have no idea how to paint walls. I don't know... Maybe I'll change to darker colors, maybe purple. I like purple. I'll see room designs too, see if the paints match.

Oh wow... Got practice at 8 tomorrow.

Yes, I told him that he will be hanged, if he gets caught buying a gun~


Yea... I always wanted to just go somewhere with no plan and just... Go... Haha...

Oh well... Guess I'll have to WAIT....


Love you too, night.


Thursday, 29 July 2010

Before Bathing Post

I just had dinner, finished my homework, looked at the marches and almost fainted(Cause I need to memorize them ALL), and, toyed with violin, it's fun!

So, yes, I'm in my room... A bit lazy to bathe... Took a few dumb quizzes on Facebook, read JX's bolg... Hmm, that 'someone' was in a bad mood, cause

1. Afternoon session assholes busted the window of the house behind.
2. Pulled down the electrical wire.
3. Hmm... Girls are so rude insulting someone's mother that the guy had to chase them with a broom???


Yea, his method of teaching is GREAT! It's like resting during Science period! Of course, I attend Science tuition class, so, I don't fail.

We eat.

We play.

We plan.

We sleep.

We gossip.

We massage each other...

All during science period.

Cause, it's dark, and, he doesn't care, he just uses a laser to point at you.

Man, I hope he doesn't read this.

For Rac's Mail, well, I just copy my e-mail, cause, it's just like my everyday life, so, it's the same. I save time too!

Oh well, time for my bath!


Rac's SIXTH Mail

Oh wow, can't even sms from Iran? How bout calls? Is that the messy country? Where women cover their faces and all that? And bomb bomb bomb and all that? Is it even safe to go there? Hmm... Do you get a raise? :]

Haha, Thai food? Maybe next time, we're going for comp not for fun, so... I don't want to have a tummy ache during that time. Don't know, we can't go by ourselves, cause, it's another country, if we get lost, end of story. So, I guess I wont be visiting 'Sizzler'... All the frees... Buh-bye! Why don't they have it in Sitiawan? Oh right... That'll just be rugi business, they'll go bankrupt within um... 3 to 6 months, the way we eat, and if they get customers like you-know-who... They'll surely go bankrupt!

And yes...




Well, it's true. People from Singapore come here just to litter, and, well, they're kiamsiap, so, they do their groceries shopping, petrol filling here. They, fuss a lot, well, your brother is a good example, and they make funny faces too, again, your brother is a VERY good example... SHHHHHHH! Don't tell him I said that, cause, if you do, I'll never... Er... Go near him? Haha.

No,no. Well... Chinese ARE number one kiamsiap in the world. Singaporeans are EXCELLENT examples! So, not just Malaysians being kiamsiap. What about China? And Taiwan, and Hong Kong? Are they equally as kiamsiap? Hmmm... Why don't they do a kiamsiap survey? Haha, see which country's people get number one, I'm sure it will be Singapore! Ehehehe.

Oh great, what? So I have a thing against Singaporeans now? Ish...

Yes, it is human nature to grumble, cause, we are NEVER satisfy, and we NEVER will be. Cause, that's just us. Humans. Are... I wouldn't say that word. Or words.

Of course, everyone can afford 100, those too poor for a home is an exception, but, come on, band members? Neh, all the crap about being poor? Yea right... They can afford branded stuff man, so, complaining about 100, to Bangkok?! WTH... It ain't even their own money, it's their parents. I don't know... Well, we're kinda doing it for our school, but, mostly, we're doing it for ourselves. Cause, we want to go, the school... Chin cai us. So, you don't expect the school to pay, or use the band money cause, we're almost bankrupt...




I don't eat mutton.

I don't eat a lot of things...

Yet, I'm fatter than you all!

Fourteen years of my life, no one has ever said that I got slim...




Hey! After fourteen years! Fourteen years baby! Someone finally told me :

''Eiiii, you look slimmer. Hey, look, your chin looks sharper! Or maybe... I just didn't see you for a long time...''


I asked another person, she looked at me, from head to toe, and again... Finally said :

"Um, oh, yes,yes, yes."

After fourteen years! Finally!


I bet it was your fault, you forced me to eat! When I was little! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA




I don't really eat that, but, I can eat it. I just don't eat it. I don't know. Food seems to be getting boring for me. I'm in a crisis! I don't know what I want to eat, I don't know what to cook... All I want... Is...






Honey. Sweet. Chocolate. Vege. Fruits. Juice. Tea. More fruits. More tea. Biscuit. Milo.

Yes... I suddenly hate food. No, not hate... I just, feel like eating sweet stuff... That's why, after dinner everyday, I take caramel and chocolate... Caramel... Nice, sweet, and sticky too! Lucky I saved those chocolates, cause, I didn't feel like eating them before! LOL!

Suddenly... I feel like eating honey chicken wings... Satay... Ice Kacang... Cendol... Tandori Chicken and nun... Dammit...


I think I'm going picnic and... prawn catching? This Sunday, I don't know, my friend's father is bringing. But, will have to confirm with the others. Our house is near both Teluk Batik and Teluk Rubia, so, why don't we go again? Funny. Been two years since I went to the beach that is 10 minutes away from our house! Your wife doesn't like going out to sandy places, does she? I think we're going to Some beach where turtle lay eggs, like, um, half way to Segari. Where is that? Did you take the GPS? I'm gonna look for more... Er... Food shops... xD

What? It's for future use, besides... Hey... I still haven't ate the dessert! Dammit... All because of BB... Damn damn damn... Right... It was a month ago...

One day... I will finish tasting the many foods, in the many food shops in Sitiawan. Although... Most shops are boring and the same... I'm lazy...

That reminds me... UHGH... My room! Cleaning it will be like cleaning a junkyard! Oh good... Stacks of books... Boxes... On my study table! Dust is piling up on my books... Never take me to the book store... AGAIN... Unless I finish my books... That will be... Er... If I have time, 2 years. What? You don't expect me to read 2 books a day, do you? I have like er... 30 books... Unread.... If you add the gifts... I guess... 50 unread... NOVELS...



Make that 3 years.

Always remember, when the food in the pic looks good, it sucks.

Oh hey! You bought a Better Homes and Gardens towel in Walmart? LOL! I subscribe to their newsletter! Apparently, re-decorating means new paint, new furniture, new wall stickers and all that... Man... Too bad everything here is built-in. Can I paint the cupboards? And doors? And... Walls? Probably not. Looks like a bad idea, I'm in my room, so, as lazy as I am, I'm afraid of the work if I actually do it.

Well, the hero? As usual. You know him... Sometimes, I wonder, what does his girlfriend see in him. Oh well, guess that's a good thing, besides, he's the only male son... That looks gay. And acts gay... Sometimes... Fag... And I think a guy like him?! LOL! On Facebook anyway! Freaking fag!


No, we don't have an Apple store in Malaysia...


There are re-sellers.

My other friend bought his in Ipoh, Jusco! I can't believe that I didn't even know that there was a re-seller there! I CAN BE SO BLUR.

Inherited the blurriness, the no-math gene, and the musical gene from your wife. I guess I got your looks^^


I forgot what I wanted to say...

Well, I don't have time, it's just... It's midnight now, and, I guess I'm free at this hour, so, I guess I write?

I wonder if they allow us to bring our laptops... Cause, 16 hours on a train? I'd die during the 12 hours of day if I do nothing... Well, at least I can watch movies if I bring this thing, cause, I download movies. Saves me money from buying.

Will money drop from the sky? When a rich guy's jet blow up in the sky?

Better stop dreaming, cause, that'll never happen. unless... I blow the jet up myself... Can you get guns? And bombs pass custom?

Just asking.

The hero wants to buy a gun in Thailand.

He'd never do that, or get pass custom. So, no worries!

I feel sleepy...

Good night!


Love you!

Miss you!

Be safe!


Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Rac's FIFTH Mail

Yes, going to Bangkok is better, know why? Cause, my friend say got a food place called 'Sizzler', mum said that they have it in New Zealand too, anyway, I heard that there's a FREE salad bar, and, FREE drinks refill! Oh, look at all the FREES! And one time, when she and her family go to Thailand, they went there to eat, in he end, the manager had to chase them out. Can't blame the manager either, WTH, 6 people eat, call 1 drink... Kiamsiap ka Si! You know who? LOL. Mummy's GOOD friend ***** xD

Kiamsiap LOOO!

Ahahaha? Plane? NAH. WTH, people tell me :
" Wah, rich people say rich things, RM100 not enough? RICH LOOO!''

Really, RM100 is NOT enough. A plane ticket is about 300++, if sit plane? I think everyone wont go. Now, I see why every shop in Sitiawan can go bankrupt. WTH, RM100 to Bangkok is considered cheap OK? The grad trip I had in 08 was RM300++ and we only went to Genting and some stupid museum. How can these people complain about Rm100 being EXPENSIVE? And hello! WE'RE GOING TO BANGKOK! Not inside Malaysia! ISH!

Yep. I guess you learned something, NEVER eat Briyani in... Um... Where again? Haha... I thought that Biryani came from their country? LOL! How can they NOT make something that came from their country NICE? Ahahaha! Maybe they think that it is? LOL LOL LOL xD

yaya, I think she'll pay for lunch, but, what if she forgot to bring her purse? Or, she leaves through the bathroom window? Haha... I'm just joking, apparently, Singaporeans do that kinda stuff! AHAHAHA!

Yep. When she said that she's gonna follow me in the train, I was like telling her not to, cause, you know her, and her Ke-po-ness and everything. She said that it's troublesome for her to sit a plane, cause, she don't know this, don't know that, the usual blurriness. She taking Lisa and the hero. Lisa says she wants to see a ghost. Heh. Say so nicely, later when she actually sees one, I think I'll have to perform exorcism on her, and, she wont eat for a month, or sleep for a month ,cause, she'll have nightmares, and every time she closes her eyes, she'll see IT again! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Search the internet? SEARCH THE INTERNET?

I'll have to do it FOR her. And... I'm lazy to do that.

Actually, there's no Apple store here. Dammit. How low can this country get?

My friend got one iPod Classic, I asked him, said bought it in Singapore. How much? Don't know.

Damn, it's not like Malaysians CAN'T afford to buy Apple products or anything. So why don't they OPEN UP A STORE? Well, they DO have an online one, and they have a re-seller, which only sells iPods and MacBooks.... Hmmm... No iPhones...

Dammit.... I have to save for Christmas shopping, a new phone, and an iPod?????!!!!!!

That's like... UHHHH...

RM1500?! I'm not even half way there! I just got like what? 200? Man... That's gonna take some time... First thing's first... I guess Christmas shopping is more important. I can save if I get a lot of Ang Paos for new year, man, this year sucked... No one gave... Not many people anyway... I feel like getting Ang Paos from every resident in Sitiawan next year! Helps me when I'm saving money. I should make a donation for myself, I can't sell my bears... They look... Cute... I think I can sell the Barbie dolls... BUT... They're gifts! And one I bought from um... Hamburg? LOL. You paid for it.

Money... Money... Money...


I'll go work at McDonald's!

I'll get free lunch and dinner too! And, after working there, I don't think that I'll go near McDonald's again! Or KFC, or Burger King... Or... Fast food restaurants, of course, you would like that.


Printing sheet music from the net. Can't get 'When you believe' outta my head. Kinda printed this other song... Damn... I didn't see that it was for duets! UGH!

Oh yea, after talking about band for so long, I realized, you don't even know this year's theme yet!



LoL, from a Dremworks movie, kinda old movie, but, nice songs. When you believe is nice! You should watch the cartoon, I know you probably wont. Anyway, we're not really sure about Thailand, so, fingers crossed.


Lynnette still can't teach yet... Wow... I think mum will have to teach me. I don't know how her students think of her as a nice teacher, it's SO different from how she teaches us, damn, she gets angry pretty fast when it comes to teaching her own children, is this natural or something? LOL. She CAN teach... She just... Well, complains A LOT when you play something wrong. That, never happens when it comes to teaching her own students, does it?

Oh well...





11 already, I have tuition tomorrow....

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Rac's FOURTH Mail


Not going to JB, we're going to Thailand! Woo-Hoo! But of course, don't know about those exam-lovers. We're going to Thailand in September, nearer to the REAL PMR. But, if those exam-lovers don't wanna go, we're still going, just have to find replacement. But, this time, it's easy, cause, anyone can go for the competition, not necessarily students, so, our ex-members can replace those exam-lovers! And you know what? Green Green is supporting again! AHHH! I'm so happy!

5 boxes of plum? ==


This time only in THIS side of the globe? LOL.

Going to Singapore, hmmm... I want an iPod Nano :)

SG and () MY price :

iPod Nano- 8GB, S$228 (RM599). I want red color. If 16GB is S$288(RM719), expensive...

iPod Classic- 160GB, S$388(RM979)--.

iPod Touch- 8GB, s$ 308(RM779). 32GB, S$468(RM1,119). 64GB, s$628(RM1,599)... ==

iPad- s$ 728.

iPhone 3GS- s$748.

iPhone 4- Price unavailable~

Shops are all over SG... Haha... If in Orchard:

EpiCentre@ION Orchard

2 Orchard Turn, #B3-14/15/16 Ion Orchard
+65 6509 5028


501 Orchard Road Wheelock Place, #02-20/22
+65 6238 9378

Best Denki@Takashimaya

391 Orchard Rd, #05-01/04 Ngee Ann City Podium
+65 6732 7605

Don't know where you going in SG, so, I find shops in Orchard. I don't know. The prices, SG or here cheaper? Or same? Anyway, those are the online prices.

Rm28 for Nasi Briyani? LOL! Here can get from RM5 you go there eat? Haha... yes, Subway better, only RM18. Haha. Just now eat half way go meeting, the meeting, was shorter than expected, 30 minutes++? WTH... Made me miss the FISH AND CHICKEN! I ate the prawns, what's left anyway.

Everything is fine, we're all happy for now. Going or not to Thailand, the PIBG will have to agree, if they don't... I don't know, I guess we'll still go. The PIBG Chairman, is a stupid guy, but, he's rich. UGH. This time every one of the PIBG members are in MCA. Don't know, don't care. They say that going to JB is FAR, what do you think they'll say tomorrow when the band teacher says we're going to Thailand? Faint? I hope so. JB? Far? Nah.

I wonder, how will we go to Thailand? How do you think we'll go? Each person only needs to pay about RM100++, so? Haha. I don't know, I think that joining the competition in Thailand, they sponsor us or something, cause I think the guy knows Mr.Tan or something like that. I don't really know. Where do you think we'll stay? OMG... Most importantly, WHAT WILL WE EAT!!!! @@

I guess that your wife is getting more popular, EVERYONE in band kinda know that she's MY MOM!


She likes shouting, doesn't she? Well, um, during the meeting just now, she was like very fierce(my friend told me^^), say : "OK! If anyone doesn't want to go, say it now! HEY! SAY IT NOW! ANYONE?!"
And she was looking at this one girl, LOL, Tian Siang's granddaughter! AHAHAHA! Cause she didn't want to go to JB. But mummy said that she was saying "WANT WANT WANT" when they say that we're going to Thailand. You know your wife.

But, I guess she's better than Green Green.



Love you.



Friday, 23 July 2010


I can't concentrate on anything.

Maybe not going for the comp is a good thing, but, maybe it isn't. I was so sure that we'd go, but... We're not going... It's hard, not to think about it... I can't think straight... I feel so dispirited, so lifeless... Again...

I just stand there like a blockhead, staring at everything but noticing nothing.

I just sit there like a statue, staring at the field when there's nothing there.

I just lie there like a twig, staring up at the open sky and trying to reach for the nothingness.

I just close my eyes... Hoping that when I open them, a miracle would appear before me.

Seeing everything...

The familiar roads.

The familiar buildings.

The familiar surroundings.

Which road did I use to come here? Just a second ago, I passed them, I looked at the buildings... I forgot, even if it was just a minute ago...

Staring at the wooden desk, full of drawings and quotes of other people, full of my answers in blue ink... Drinking my everyday tea, ignoring the teacher that is teaching the subject.

Time passes so slowly, but at the same time, it just flies by.

Day by day.

Night by night.

I spend wondering...

About what?

About nothing.

There is so much to think about, yet, there is nothing to think about.

I gave up on hope. I guess my heart was with my hope... Now, they're both gone.

I gave up on hope.

I gave up on him.

I gave up on me.

I gave up on you.

Rac's THIRD Mail

Well, I finally know the reason why she is SO against us going. Remember the whole thing about our headmaster last year? When she tried to make him get fired? Yea, so, the reason is our headmaster. I asked her daughter. Damn that woman, can you believe it? Just because of our headmaster, she's willing to let 87 kids down, crushing our hopes... Unless we can get everyone to agree tomorrow, there's no chance of us going. No. Fate is what we make ourselves, it depends on the decisions we make, but, it's not us that's deciding. It's our parents. No matter how much we want to go, even a few can ruin our chance.

That's the problem...

You see, being a non-carer of education, I don't give a damn about my grades. Not now anyway. It's not the REAL test is it? It's not gonna determine my life or anything, besides, the world's gonna end in 2012. At least, the ice will finish melting then... That's not the point! It's just a trail exam, and, there's a week before that, I think, so... They're not dumb, in fact, most of them are smart asses, even if they don't look like much. I don't get smart people. All they like is studying... Studying... Studying... And all they do is study... Study... Study... And study again! WTF is wrong with them? Most smart people don't have lives!

Respecting people's choice is another thing... I'm just saying what I want right now... It doesn't matter.

Mum did her best... What else can she do? Help them to sign the agreement paper? Wouldn't that be fraud, and, other parents can sue her for that right? There's nothing else she can say... Maybe we can do something, but... Who would be as crazy as to agreeing to my plan? Well... You know my plans, it either includes having people blackmailed or kidnapped. I have another one... But, we'll have to ALL work together... So, it's kinda like, those people who tie themselves to trees to prove how much they love Earth. Of course, I'm not tying myself to a tree... But, that could work... Hmmm....

Oh well, can't blame people if they don't understand. I thought that ALL parents should support the decisions their children make, what's all the crap about ''we will always support you, my child'' then if they don't support? Of course they want the BEST for their children, but what about what WE want? It's not always up to you parents you know. We have our wishes too. Yea, most parents might get fucking mad if their child says the truth to them, but, I thought we were raised to tell the truth? True, you parents raise us up, but, what's a week gonna do to us? It's not like they're gonna miss PMR or anything...

So, Wow, your son enjoys watching cars blow up, it somehow excites him. xD

LOL. I just ate SO much. Haha, who's the cook on board? Chinese food again? Everyday? Ahahaha... Can't be that bad right? Yes. You can lose some weight, do you use the gym? Hahahahahaha! Only sailing to these country? OH... Must be hot... Oh well... Hmmm... You sailing to anywhere else? Like maybe... Japan? Haha... Hmm... More chips! MORE CHIPS!

Anyway, I still haven't touched my homework, I don't believe in homework when I don't think I'll learn from it. I still owe Ah Toh... Like say... Maybe... 35 strokes? I left everything blank today... Except for 1 know... She's gonna kill me. And tomorrow... Is another 4 'famous old lines'... I'll probably write them on the table... AGAIN. I didn't today cause... Oh... Right... I was eating, and when I was about to write them on my table, the bell rang. Ta-da!

Oh, LOL. Just graduate? The company only accepts white people... Err... Chinese right? Or people with Chinese names... Haha... I'm beginning to think that... I er... Am a racists. Well... Haha... Eee... No, no. I don't hate black people, I just don't like black people with attitude problems. Well... Ahehehe... So... I guess... Well... I, don't like Malays. Especially after I learn that they're... Never mind. There was this one time when I was riding my, WHEN I WAS 10, my paddle broke, so, I had to push it all the way home. I passed this one house, that idiot threw stones at me! And it was like he was enjoying it! HE THREW THEM HARDER! That was when I, Rachel Cheong, started to know the many fuckers of the world. And, that was just one, and, that was when I was 10, so, you can imagine how ugly people in this world are to me now.

There are exceptions, of course.

Even if I hate it, I still have to do it. Saves time, and I have tution tomorrow so, I guess doing my homework now would help...

That's about it...

Everyday is the same, cause, I kinda lost it.

No spirit

No mood

No nothing...

I'm fucked.

Well... I guess mum's killing me when my results for the test comes out, the monthly test is in... Um... 3 weeks. I'll pass, just don't expect to see an A.

Night, love you.


Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Aimlessly Expressing

I've always been me. And yet, I, don't like stuff normal people do, some say I'm weird and retarded, some just weird, others, retarded.

I don't like Facebook. Seriously, I'm bad at socializing. I don't really talk much cause I don't really know how to, and, I don't really see the point. I'm just weird...

People always say that being different is a good thing. Being different means being weird right? So... I don't get it. Maybe it's just me and my simple but very complicated mind.

Another thing, people always say 'Be honest!', I agree with that. But, it's hard. When I'm being truthful with people, they just say that I'm plain cold. When I lie to them, they tell me not to lie, when I lie, I'm trying to be nice. So, if you get anything harsh from me... Well... You asked me, and I'm being honest with you. Deal with the fact that you suck.

I don't know if NOT liking anyone is a weird thing. I don't even like my friends. I treat everyone the same. I don't like anyone, but I don't dislike anyone either, does this sound weird to you? But, I can never say 'NO' to anyone when they look miserable, or, when they smile at me... Gosh...

I don't know... I'm just plainly writing things out. I know it's late, I feel like sleeping, but, I don't want to. I don't feel right, and that's why I hope that this will help. It's only been 10 minutes... I can keep this up for an hour, but... I don't know why, I can't seem to figure out what I really want to say...

Maybe I'm just disappointed.

Maybe I'm just depressed.

Maybe I'm just sad.

Maybe I'm just mad.

Maybe it's because I know he's just gonna let himself down in the end that it makes me upset that I'm in love with such an idiot!

There's no point.

There's no way.

So why... Why?

There's a chance, even if it's less than 0.1%... He still believes in it...




Can't I be like him?


I like the way I am, even if I lose hope easily, I believe more now. These 7 months of training wasn't a waste of time. I found myself again, I believe again... After a year, I have faith again.
I believe in myself, I believed in myself, that's why I was able to do everything I did for these 7 months. Even if I'm not that good of a player, I've improved, and I learnt many things... I've healed myself.

I want to say thank you...

To everyone who helped me...

Pissed me off...

Gave me advice...

Accepted me for who I am no matter how much of a weirdo and glutton I am...

For loving me when I only think about what's for dinner, mum and dad.

For being by my side for three years even if I made you guys cry, or locked you guys up on the balcony, Jess, Jesv, Ngor, Steph.

Thank you to all my friends.

Thank you...


I may be leaving...


Thank you...

Prince of Egypt... The time is now, the story is forever.


Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Green Green Aunty

It's not decided yet. The meeting was a mess. Green Green Aunty was a bit over doing it... My mum got fed up. Everyone supporting was fed up with Green Green Aunty, she even brainwashed Madam Hong! How evil! Fucking hell, I'm gonna kidnap her.


I don't know, she's not a bad person, but, she's bad. Well... She's kinda a nut case if you ask me. I thought she supports our band and all that? I think she just hates our headmaster. Heh.

I wasn't there, but, my mum was, she was helping a lot too. No,no,no! She's on our side. If you don't already know her, she's one of those happy 3 8 praise dancers, short hair, red cheeks, in a black top, a skirt, and a grey handbag, not sure what shoes she wore though.

So... It's not a very good chance. Even if most of our parents are willing to let us go, a few might ruin it. I'm not getting my hopes up, although, I'm really excited!

Wait. Wait.Wait.

Why am I writing this again? Oh, right... I'm pissed.

Well, I'm not anymore... Cause... Well... I don't know...

This is weird.

I think I almost faded this afternoon at the Science lab, well... I brought the topic up... So, I guess I can only blame myself for breaking my own heart.

Whatever, I'm fine now :D

I don't know... Hope everything will be great...

I hope we can go. Even if I may not be the one that's in the show. I still hope that we can go.

Many nights we've prayed, with no proof anyone could hear,
In our hearts a hopeful song, we barely understood.
There can be miracles, when you believe,
though hope is frail, it's hard to kill (it's hard to kill).
There will be miracles, you can achieve,
when you believe, somehow you will...

You will When you believe.

Somehow... Part 2 is stuck in my head...

Good night everyone, have a good rest.


You too, and hey... Don't get your hopes up, you don't have a chance, and... I'm no one to say this but... She's using you. So... You're just hurting yourself... And... um... You wont see this but, I hope that you know. Don't get your hopes up, I once did, and... I became like I am now... A non-believer... It seems like there's hope, but, there isn't. Please... You're an idiot. Just... Just... Never mind. Do as you like, when you're crushed even worse than before... You'll know where you went wrong. But, you'll recover, takes time though, took me a year. So... Good luck.

Yes, sadly, it's for him.

Oh well, it's kinda obvious now isn't it? Oh no... I don't hate her, I just don't like her, my thoughts about her changed after that night. Don't ask which, cause... After that night... My thoughts about everyone changed...

You can never believe what you see, and once you know what's behind what you used to think is innocent... The truth... Is shocking.

Sunday, 18 July 2010

Rac's Mail


Yes, I was lazy to write these few days. The competition ended on Thursday, and I skipped school on Friday, and... Today's Saturday, well... It's passed 12am so, I guess technically, it's Sunday already! I have tons of unfinished homework, and my SJ folio is due on Wednesday... I'm not done with it! UUUUUGHHHHHH! The results of skipping school for 2 weeks I guess... Oh well... And yes... Ah Toh, my Chinese teacher, have a lot of things to test on Monday... Hallelujah! I'll die then. I don't even know what homework there is... And, knowing what Ah Toh will be testing on Monday, I'd rather run around our school 50 times...

The competition result? We came in at 5th. Well... At least fifth place is better than nothing, we're qualified to go to Johor... BUT... We ain't going. PMR trail and stuff. Oh well... Guess people prefer studying more. Speaking of which, I have a BAD feeling about my studies too, you know I'm not the brightest and I can't survive without cheating on my Math test. So... I guess... I'll have to cheat for another... Until I graduate???? ==''

I'm getting SOOOO lazy these days. I know I'm a pig, but, I'm more of a slob than before. Heh. I don't care about homework, the only homework I really do are my Chinese and history homework, they're both scary women. EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!

As usual, this is my first e-mail since you went to work, so, the first one is ALWAYS... I mean... ALWAYS long. So, just enjoy the long e-mails when I have the time to write em'. I'll probably be much much MUCH more free since the marching season is over, but... School is school, no matter how much I wish my dream of 'Blowing up everything that has to do with education' will come true, I for one know that, it will NEVER come true. Cause, um... It's just another impossible thing, and unless I become ruler of the universe... No,no. I'm thinking way over my head.

This would be really funny if mum gave me the wrong address. Cause, um, it just will be. Oh, in case your not my dad and you got this e-mail... HI, I'M RACHEL.

This lazy slob will be going to sleep now. A bit depressed with the homework she have though, BUT, Rachel the slob will still be having fun and NOT caring about the homework and punishment she will receive on Monday, because, if her hands break because of too much beating, she can always sue that woman for being such a person.

I'm just pissed that I lost my cookies... BUT... I have new cookies, I'm happy now. ALMOST. The new cookies are... TOO SWEET... Curses... I lost my cookies!

Hope you're doing well, where will you be going next? Do I get more food? cause emm, I love food.

Anyway, it's almost 2am. Nighty-night!

Muaks, miss you, love you, be safe, come back soon!

Love, Rachel

Friday, 16 July 2010


Been a while since I last wrote my blog, so... Yea... Nothing much, nothing interesting during the days I didn't update my blog. Well... To tell the truth, I'm actually lazy. Although the seven months of practice sounded like hell to others, it wasn't to me even if I may have complained, but... I've never felt that I hated practice. Sure I'm lazy, but, I go for practice, don't I?

The last show of 2010 was yesterday at NATCOMP finals... We did great, I know we did. Even if we got 5th place, we didn't lose(I was kinda hoping for 1st place, but... Sad). 5th place isn't so bad, 78.85 isn't so bad. I was hoping that we'd get best percussion line... BUT... We didn't. I'm happy with everything else, I'm just not happy we didn't get best percussion line! ARGH! No offense, but... I thought that the ones who got best percussion line... Sucked. Can't argue about the CGs. Horn line... Sounded fine!


After the preparation... After the four bands have played, it's our turn. After the warm up, a few words of encouragement. I almost cried, but, decided not to. 'ENERGY! SPIRIT!' shouted DHT, 'TEAMWORK!' we finished the quote... 'ENERGY! SPIRIT!'... 'TEAMWORK!'... 'ENERGY! SPIRITTTTTTTTTTTTTT!'... 'TEAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWORK!' OK! Let's do it guys, c'mon, good luck, do your best!

My heart pounded, I felt like crying... I felt nervous. I closed my eyes, took deep breaths to calm myself up. The gates open, it's time... I can see the lights inside, I can hear the crowd inside. We're getting ready, the narrator(not sure what word to use ==) is speaking... The crowd is waiting... Finally... 'SMJK Nan Hwa from Perak, Sitiawan!' And I hear the cheers of the crowd, I closed my eyes, took another deep breath... Looking at him mouthing the words 'Good luck' and 'tap... tap... tap tap tap' We're going in. Only one thing in mind 'Do your best, don't look up until the end. Go. You can do it.'

Part one... Part two... Part three, my worst... Part four... END. I made it! I MADE IT! During the drum solo... Man, it was like a relief when I got to 'When you believe'.


Could it be? That this isn't the end of our 'Prince of Egypt' thing? We're maybe going to Johor? MAYBE? Well...

''Miracles don't happen, when you believe, thought hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles, we can achieve, when we go to Johor, we will when we gooooo!''
By MemeMeRachel

Thursday, 8 July 2010


I'm beginning to HATE Paul the octopus!

Damn it! I was supporting Germany(for no reason, maybe because I like Germany?) and it picked Spain to be the winning team! Betrayer of your own country you stupid OCTOPUS! Be careful NOT to end up on a plate!

I was gonna watch it at 2.30... BUT... I fell asleep XD


My bro bet $30 on Spain, hey... He won... $10. They lowered the winning money cause of Paul, everyone's betting on Spain. Huh... My dad bet Germany... Lost... Damn... I don't know how much but... DAMN... $5000 on finals? I'm watching finals. Anyone wanna come my house to watch? xD Stop by McDonald's and get me a Happy Meal on the way here^^

Aww... My dad's going back to work this Monday... After finals... Damn... Two months already? He's gonna miss my birthday... AGAIN! That always happens! EVERY YEAR! ARGH! He'll be back in another 6 or 8 months...

He's in Kota Baru now... With grandma and aunt Iris... His dad is dying. Although I only met my dad's dad once... He is my grandpa after all... The one I have blood relations with anyway... He's dying...


I um... Homework... Poem... Later... Write it... Chinese...