New Isn't Always Better

My laptop sure knows when to die on me. During my months of idleness, with absolutely nothing to do at home while I wait for my wretched SPM results to be announced and ruin my life, it left me to face the pink, lavender walls of my room alone.

As usual, I am blogging from Shiro-San's five inch screen. Virtual keyboard, taking half the space of my blank page, vibrating with each tap... Touchscreen, It takes the life out of everything.

I wish they would stop making everything touchscreen these days. You know what really grinds my gears? That even laptops are slowly turning tablet-like, with touchscreen functionality, detachable from the keyboard to actually make them into a tab. Really, people? I want a freaking laptop, not a tablet! Something else that frustrates me is that new laptops run on Windows 8.

New doesn't mean it is better. Stop making laptops touchscreen and run on Windows 8! Frankly, nobody likes it.

I own an Android. I look at it every single day. My eyes, they don't always leave the screen, probably even fixed on it for more than half my day. I get tired of it. The touch, the look, the feel. I can't possibly live with a laptop that works like a smartphone. Swipe to unlock? Fuck you, Windows. Stop wasting my time. Sliding to unlock my phone every thirty seconds of inactivity is annoying enough. I sure as hell don't like the application grid either!

It's always like this, looking for a new laptop. It feels as if I am picking a life partner, which I sort of am. It has to be perfect for me, from the design to how it runs. We all know I am going to be bias, when it comes to technology. Sony will always be my first choice, considering I am a fangirl, and their designs are unrivaled. It's not hard for me to pick something that works right. I am not a hardcore gamer, and what really gets me going are just point and click hidden object games. Either that, or those classic, Japanese-style RPGs like Aveyond. I am girl after all.

Chinese New Year has arrived. I am not expecting a whole lot of ang paus this year, but I hope I can get a few hundred dollars, at least. Even though I do have enough cash in my bank account to buy a laptop, I can't withdraw everything at once! I should start looking for a job after my four days at Kenneth's. Sony isn't exactly generous when it comes to its price.

I am not getting a Mac. Kill me if I do.

At Least Someone Visits Here

I don't get many readers. Sometimes, I wonder if I have any at all. Then once in a while, you remind me of my blog and ask why haven't I updated it in so long. I still check your blog sometimes, even though I know you don't update it, you said to me.       It is not everyday that you pester me to write-- usually.

Remember what I told you last night, in our sleep? About past mistakes, the people involved and how in their eyes, we would still stay the same, be that memory that everyone wants to forget even though we have moved on, and changed? I wonder indeed, if you remember, or even paid attention to my midnight ramblings.

You are asleep at the moment. I can't possibly bother you with my questions, or my voice. You are a person who takes life seriously-- the physical aspect of it anyway. As for the things you can't see or feel with your body, you couldn't possibly care less, because you already give zero fucks about them. Like what? Life, of course.

Now, back to the thoughts I left half hanging last night. 

I wanted to suffocate myself with the pillow my head was resting on. Trying to sleep, my brain decided that a flash back of my embarrassing mistakes would be a decent story to relax me and make me fall asleep with a smile on my face. Oh, brain, sometimes I wonder why I even have you! Perhaps seeing a certain someone earlier that evening triggered a reaction in you which temporarily screws around with your compressing abilities.

What if life was reset everyday? Or every year? Ah, then there is a reason to celebrate new years. We wouldn't forget what we've learnt in the past. We could choose what we want to forget, and wipe that memory clean from our own minds, as well as everyone else's. Wouldn't that be nice? If we only had 365 days to live, would we cherish each and every day, live them to the fullest? Or would we stay the same, wasting the hours and days away staring at screens.

I don't usually wake up this early and stay awake, without going back to dreamland until my mum comes knocking on my door, telling me to go downstairs for lunch.

In the first place, I didn't think of blogging and I certainly didn't want to do it. It wouldn't be fair if you kept checking for updates and I don't update this site! I am a horrible writer. Which reminds me, a friend of mine told me my email address stated on my profile is wrong, but I haven't changed it yet. He told me about it last year... I I I I I I I guess I will go change it now.

Thank you for being my only reader. Well maybe someone else reads my blog too, but I certainly don't know it!

I know I won't update my blog often. You know that too.

New Year

New year, huh?

It's just another ordinary day. It's not like your life will automatically reset itself and you can start over. I see. That's why people countdown to this day, drink beer, and party till the Sun comes up. They get drunk, and dance to forget all that's happened in the past-- some dance to remember-- as a symbol, to start over fresh the next day; a new year.

January 1st, 2014

I still feel the bluntness, and how almost nothing is worth the excitement. I'm hiding again, away from the people that call themselves my friends. You could say that I've been looking forward to this for a very long time now, the day I finally am able to slide away silently, and disappear from their lives forever. Total detachment.

No calls. No messages. Besides, my phone is always on airplane mode. Now, you'd wonder why I even own a cellphone if it's going to be unreachable almost all the damn time-- I don't play games either. I'm not sure either. There are two people which I will continue to keep in touch with. Wei Wei and Wui Ping.

For the coming four months, I'll read whatever book I fancy that's collecting dust in my shelf-- after I get my driver's license, of course, but before I start college. 

Sigh.

I wonder how things will be like? I'll be alone, but living with my brother who says I'll be his personal chef. No. I don't get paid. The difference between the two of us is so great, how are we even related? That social butterfly shared his ridiculously absurd dream with me this morning. How I was the kind of girl who parties hard, went to clubs and head banged like crazy. We both laughed at that idiotic dream--or perhaps nightmare-- of his. It seems that it is obvious to the world, even to him, that I'm a boring person who prefers to stick with books. Even when choosing curtains for me the other day, Dennis picked out a plain one for me, without even a dot on it as decoration. She likes it plain, he had said to mum.

I always thought I'd never grow up. How wrong was I? Of course, I'm still gullible in ways so ridiculous that you wouldn't even start to believe that someone with such a negative and sombre perspective of the way things are could be so naive, and stupid.

Aunt Mun handed me a piece of chocolate from After Eight. As I was about to nibble the square piece of dark brown sweetness, she said it'd taste better if I ate it after eight o'clock. I took it away from my lips and stared at her. Even Lisa had processed aunt Mun's words as mere lies, right after they came out of her mouth. But there I was, leaving the chocolate to rest on my belly, not even one bite. Secretly, I wanted to believe in the magic. I took my first bite at around nine o'clock that night-- it still tasted horrible. Minty and sweet. Disgusting.

Ask Jor, and he'd tell you about the fun he has saying unbelievable things to me that I'd always believe. Fuck you, man.

My life will continue as usual. The Sun will still rise in the east, pigs won't fly and chickens will remain flightless and whether or not the egg comes first will still continue to stir the mind of many people.

Happy Life no.3 still has a few pages left, thanks to my forgetfulness of leaving it Home while I went to KL.

Very soon, I'll be listening to the song Highway to Hell as I speed down the roads leading to the big city. It shall become my regular routine.

Maybe this new year might be different after all.

Beer, anyone?

Cheers. And although I don't care, happy new year.