Tuesday, 30 October 2012

All About Apple-nee

We've all fell for this girl at least once in our high school days, and we have no idea why either. What's so special about her, I wonder. I wouldn't call her the prettiest flower in the garden, but somehow she makes you notice her like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. She's not the smartest either, and above all, not a people-person.

Apple-nee is petite for her age, with breasts barely the size of mini Chinese steamed buns and a height about 5'5''. She has a fair complexion that doesn't seem to darken even after being under the Sun , but her face isn't as smooth as we imagine it to be. At a glance, you'd think that she's a princess--when she's sitting still anyway--innocent and naive; it is an entirely different story when she's actually doing something. Once you get to know her, you'll know that she's not lady-like at all but in fact rough, careless, short-tempered, emotional and somewhat immoral, just like the rest of us.

I remember her touch, albeit it was just only a poke to tease that lasted merely one second. It was cold, tender and gentle, something you'd expect from a girl like her. We were only together for that short period of time; we weren't close, and we still aren't but my feelings of admiration and jealousy still remains from the first day that I met her.

The first time I lay eyes on her? It was like a dream. I was walking back with my head down, then I decided to raise my head to see where I was actually going and I saw her, just sitting there staring out at the field; the evening Sun made her skin glow, her silky hair waved to and fro along with the breeze. You could call it love at first sight, I suppose. If I were a painter, I would have painted that scene and I would paint it every time I miss her just to remind myself that she's an angel beyond my reach.

I only saw her cried once. I stood there and did nothing, didn't even go near her. I couldn't; people were surrounding her already. I wonder if it'd make a difference though, not like she'd remember... But she stood up for me once... Let's not go into that.

Apple-nee could be reading this post right now; it's best that she's still stupid enough to not acknowledge that 'Apple-nee' is in fact her, and start feeling detested, thus avoiding me. Maybe she's disgusted already, that I'm really like this, that I have feelings for a girl. She was the one who gave me the wrong impression of her in the first place. I found out a year later through a friend that she is in fact straight. I wouldn't call myself a lesbian though, I have a boyfriend, and she is the only female that I have loved for so long... Anyway, are there any cute bisexuals or lesbians in the Ave Maria Convent band?

There is another girl who is giving me wrong impressions, but I will save that for next time since this one is closer to me although she is as playful, daring and random as Apple-nee... Hmm...

I will not tolerate you guys for bitching about my sexual orientation. I'm bisexual. Live with it. Asian community.

Whenever you call out my name, 
it's always a bit flirty,
thank you. 

Friday, 26 October 2012

The 26th of October

I just love October, and my favorite day in October is the 26th, my birthday! Come to think of it, I like the 26th of every month. Again, it's a personal thing.

Every year, I don't like celebrating the day I came out through a hole. I don't feel the need to celebrate such a day, it isn't very special, is it? Each year, I have a mini gathering with close friends, without receiving much gifts. I wonder what's so special about this year though, my beloved Zinc made an album for me and I actually celebrated my birthday with my usual--fucked-up and crazy--bunch of buds.

Since it's close to Halloween, I had the urge to dress up like a serial killer and go out in public. So today, le me, and le two close friends went out in costumes. I dressed up as a pedophile/serial killer--yes, suits me, I know--with Jesvin as my Lolita victim while Zinc dressed up as Dr.Shu in a bloody school uniform with holes here and there.

Sorry, this picture doesn't bring out the best of Zinc and I~
Before we headed out, my stalker-mum wanted to take some photos of us in our costumes. Stalker-mum doesn't usually take bad pictures, but somehow, today's picture is really blur and it doesn't bring out the essence of my perverseness and Dr.Shu's scariness. Miss Jesvin however, looks especially good in this picture. Ah, I wonder if I should give Jesvin the dress she wore in that photo since it suits her well. Yep, it may not look like it, but, IT'S MINE, along with the doll and bag she's carrying...

Although there were twelve people who celebrated my birthday, only the three of us went full fledged with the costumes... Those bastards! They should be thankful that I didn't suffocate them with my cake... Oh wait, there was no cake... Except for the ice-cream log cake that LiYi bought... Hmm... Quite an abnormal way of celebrating a birthday: no birthday cake. 

Originally, I wanted to go with the unzipped-mouth Halloween costume, but I don't have anything sticky enough to stick the zipper on my face! I tried UHU glue, but the freaking thing didn't even stick! I did the unzipped-mouth makeup for a while, and boy did I look scary! But it was too incomplete and clumsy to actually BE worth going out in. If I had more time to prepare and the right materials, my costume would be like this:

Anyway, Silent Hill: Revelation was a disappointment. I didn't get the oopmh I was supposed to feel when watching a horror movie. I guess they should just leave it to us Asians to direct horror movies, because honestly, Westerners fucking suck at it. The effects and monsters were real enough, I'll give em' credit for that. For me, the movie was too damn fast moving; probably because I play Silent Hill and it takes me FOREVER to get something done. Maybe I just had my expectations a bit too high? Well, not being able to see it in 3D already ruined half my mood for the movie anyway... Guys, do tell me if the 3D one is good =)

I removed my birthday on my Facebook profile so I'd know who to delete. Those who didn't wish me happy birthday would get deleted, because friends remember each other's birthdays =| I'm quite happy that a number of people wished me, the most shocking birthday wish though was from my lovely Mariane; I didn't think that she'd remember it cause she's a year older and we only see each other every so often.

I'm happy. YES, I'M HAPPY. I couldn't hold back my smile when they sang me Happy Birthday in four languages: English, Chinese, Cantonese and Malay... TWICE!! As for why they sang to me twice, it's because Qi Shun blew out my candle the first time :/

I made two wishes before I blew out my candle. Wait... Was Jessica already there when... Ah, she wasn't there yet... So I guess that it's God's decision  that my wish doesn't apply to her. If I tell you guys my wish, then it won't come true anymore, will it? Haha, so then I guess I'll keep what I wished for a secret. I'll give you a hint though, both wishes have something to do with being together forever *wink* take a wild guess and you just might get them right.

The presents I received will not be taken photos of and will not be uploaded. I'm way too lazy to do that, loves. The least I can do is tell you guys what I got, so here's the list: Writing books, from WeiWei; Scrapbook/album, from Zinc; 4 sleeping masks, one purse and a green hair clip, from the guys; beautiful gold bracelet with pearls, from Jessica; a cake, from LiYi; Magic Shawl, from grandma. My grandpa gave me RM50 while aunt Flower gave me RM20. At first, grandpa gave the Ang Pau to Lisa cause he thought that it was HER birthday. HAHAHA. The guys' gift made me laugh, 4 sleeping masks! With some sort of cooling/heating pad too! They said that it's for me to sleep in class xD

SUCH A LONG POST TODAY! My, my, I AM HAPPY! I haven't been like this in a long time! I guess even the news of having band practice tomorrow can't bring me down to Earth! I won't be going for practice tomorrow though... I'm not up for it yet... I might go at 10A.M though... It's funny, albeit Mr.Tan said not to have practice... Ah whatever... It's not up to me... Sigh... I'm going to bed...

Went to PizzaHut and the cinema in our Halloween costumes.
Because fuck you, that's why. 

Happy Halloween~!

Thursday, 25 October 2012

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (時をかける少女)

AH! I just finished watching another anime. I was supposed to watch a horror movie with my sister, but she didn't answer my call so I thought fuck it, I'll watch something else on my own.

Plot Summary: When 17-year-old Makoto Konno gains the ability to, quite literally, "leap" backwards through time, she immediately sets about improving her grades and preventing personal mishaps. However, she soon realises that changing the past isn't as simple as it seems, and eventually, will have to rely on her new powers to shape the future of herself and her friends.

Anime News Network

This is a 90-minute movie, not a series, so you can give it a go if you haven't the time for a full series.

I find this movie rather unsatisfying. It's a personal thing. I like to imagine myself as the protagonist whenever I watch a movie, so whenever the main protagonist makes a decision that I don't like, I'd be twitching with dissatisfaction and pursing my lips, continuing the movie with a sour face. Yes, the main character, Makoto, did a horrible job making horrible decisions.

I don't know what to write, really. If I write too much about the movie, you guys will have no fun in watching it anymore!

This anime is more of a shoujo anime, it's very girly so I doubt that guys would enjoy it. Hmm...

Anyway, here's a site that gives you HD anime downloads: RevoHD. Though the anime choices are limited, those available are really good. Quality over quantity, right? They also have HD releases of films from Studio Ghibli. Another shoujo-anime-movie you guys could try out is Hotaburi no Mori e.

I'll retire for the night. I hope the links I provided helped! I'm not sure how many of you are like me, forever in search of sites to download stuff because streaming is just too... I have no idea why I hate streaming. Could be because of the annoying ads and low quality videos... Hmm...

If the person I liked confessed to me on a summer's evening while he gave me a ride home on his bicycle,
I wouldn't want to undo what I heard,
even if we were bestfriends.
I'd hug him from behind;
let him know I feel the same. 

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day (あの日見た花の名前を僕達はまだ知らない)

I've finally finished watching this touching eleven-episode anime! T^T I cried so much at the end of the series that it was as if my pet had just got eaten. Thank goodness nobody walked in on me crying in front of my laptop; I was wrapped up inside my blanket, wiping my tears with it.

Literally translated from its original Japanese title though, this anime should be called "I still don't know the name of the flower we saw that day" instead of "The flower we saw that day" but I guess the shorter the better? Haha.

Simply put, this anime is about friendship.

I'm not one to care about my relationship with people, but this anime made me WISH that I had cared. Everyone has at least one childhood friend, right? I don't, really, because those who I spent running around barefooted with all became the typical 'lala' in another school. Seriously, even my dad has a really close childhood friend that he's still in contact with: Lisa. No, not my sister; they just happen to have the same name.

Okay, back to the anime:

There's this group of six that calls themselves Super Peace Busters. They were childhood friends. One summer's day, one of the members, a girl named Menma, drowned in a river. After Menma died, they all grew distant because secretly they've been feeling guilty and haven't been able to move on ever since. To each of them, they contributed as much to her death. About ten years later, Menma's ghost came back, saying she has a wish to fulfill and only the group leader, Jintan, could see her. Because of Menma's reappearance after all these years, the others were slowly drawn back together; the story thus begins to unravel, with secret feelings being exposed and revelations to new relationships. They were finally able to move on =')

This is Menma.

This anime portrays different personalities that each of us may have, and from watching it, I sorta found out which kind of friend I am. I must say, I'm the worst kind. I can't tell you exactly which character portrays my personality because each of them have their points that I think I have. 

Sad to say, most friendship these days aren't going to last, and the kind of long-lasting relationship we see in movies are either things of the past or they are just dreams of a person. I don't know about the rest of you but even though I yearn for the kind of friendship that is pure and eternal, I still can't find it. No matter what people say, they don't accept you for who you are, because there are just some things that people DON'T want to accept. How can that type of relationship be pure then? I distance myself away from the people I call friends because I know, they don't mean always mean well. One could say that I don't have friends though, because to me, everyone is just an acquaintance; I don't share secrets or my feelings with them, I just hang out and chill with them. I know nothing about them either.  


I don't want to be all emo on an anime post, so here's the ending song of the anime. Very touching~ I bet some of you can relate to it. 

I'll probably visit Josh's Anime Sheet Music Collection now and download the sheet music so I can emo on the piano in the morning.

Good night loves~! 

Thursday, 18 October 2012


I was feeling empty when I talked to you, then I remembered this song.

I know, you won't bother listening to what they're singing, so I prepared the lyrics. 

Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But its empty

Tried to write a letter
In ink
Its been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

We're empty
We're empty

Minding Other People's Business

Honestly, I don't know what the media these days is up to. Have you guys read the news about a couple posting sex videos, erotic and nude pictures of themselves on their blog? I for one think that there is nothing wrong with doing that. The girl dreams to be a porn star after all, so who are we to judge?

Like Vivian (girl in the news)  said, it's okay for westerners to post nude pictures of themselves online but not for Asians? Well, hello Asian society, look at the world's largest population and we'll know who is horny. Hmph. In this country, I'm not sure whether the Malays are hornier or the Chinese... Judging by the population though, I'd say the Malays are more horny.

I find that all Asians are hypocrites. It's not that we are closed-minded--though most of the people in my town are--we just don't want to expose ourselves, and when some of us does, SOME people don't want to accept the truth that Asians are, well, not innocent.

Anyway, I'll be siding Vivian and her boyfriend on this one. I have two reasons, one of which isn't very valid at all. First, it's up to them if they want to 'share their love' all over the internet. I have no objections because I'd actually like to see a real couple having sex instead of porn stars overreacting in front of the camera. I would follow their blog, and I would have, if I had discovered it earlier OR if it wasn't forced to be shut down. I don't see why people need to make a big fuss out of this thing.

They say that our parents will be the ones who will be embarrassed the most when we do nonsense because they'll be blamed for not raising us properly. People, we all know that the wrong things that we do have NOTHING to do with the way our parents raised us; we have a mind of our own, and we know damn well that often we regret the things that we've done because of our parents. Really, whenever somebody does something wrong, their parents have absolutely no idea. The thing is, if nobody bothers to raise an issue, then nobody will get dragged into a big mess that's not going to benefit anyone!

Back to the topic, it's not nice to report someone when they post lovely pictures of themselves on the internet. I find Vivian cute, so it's totally fine for her to take erotic pictures of herself and posting it online; she'd be doing a whole bunch of people--myself included-- a huge favor. My wise brother once said: "Taking self portraits when you're ugly is a crime."

If people found her and her boyfriend's blog offensive, I wonder how they'd find ArielDogLover.com... TRUST ME, YOU DO NOT WANT TO CLICK ON THE LINK. Ever heard of zoophilia or bestiality? It's a love for animals... The kind of love you give to a lover, not your pet. Now, Google was the one who found that site, not me. Yes, I know, blame it on Google.

I asked mum what she thinks... I guess she's like any other auntie in he market. Sad. She says that Vivian is out of her mind, saying that she wants to star in porn. I don't see anything wrong with being a porn star =-= it's a job, isn't it? Once, I watched porn starring a college girl. When asked why she's doing it, she said that she needed money to buy textbooks... Just randomly mentioning... Anyway, I just had sushi and donburi.

I feel like posting a picture. I bought new shoes =] Totally irrelevant, I know.

Wednesday, 17 October 2012


我趟在门外的沙发上,听着傍晚悠闲的声音。那温软的夕阳照着我前面的草地,把所有的都变得黄黄色。在草场上,我的两只狼狗躺着发呆。我看了它们那么可爱又轻松的样子,真的好羡慕呀。。。我的怀里躺着一只四肢脚的天使,她那带着一点金色的白毛我的手正摸着。 电风扇在我的后面吹呀吹,天使小狗面对着那一直不停地旋转的电风扇享受着原本给我的风。


我看了眼前的风景,幻想着我以后的梦想家园。笑着,我对天使小狗说:“以后,我想住在乡下,买下一片很大很大的田园,让你们,和你们以后会拥有的朋友们在那里泵跑,在那里趟着,在那里陪我看太阳下山。” 天使小狗舔了舔我的手,是否对我说她在等待着呢? 我紧紧地抱着她,对她说我会尽量地赚钱买家。很可笑吧?在现代社会里,要买个公寓都必须工作得半生不死。在整十、二十年后,买个田园是个遥远又不可能的梦想。虽然事实是这样,不过我觉得有一天,我真的会拥有个充满小动物的田园。

我的梦想房子并不是一坐皇宫似的大房子,而是一间单程小木屋。我想自己一个人单独地过生活,每天照顾着不说话的动物,与它们一起玩。一个人住很自由, 没有人对你说你煮的饭菜吃了会进医院,更没有人会伤你的心。对,我是非常地喜欢动物。我有想过当兽医,在动物园里工作,不过我对我的生物学没有很大的信心。 还有一年的时间让我想呀,到底呢我要拿英国文学还是读兽医。


Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Writing on a Tuesday Night

I have read approximately 10 pages of my history notebook, but somehow, it felt as if I had read a hundred pages already. I want to say this to my history paper: Come at me, bro.

Ironically, I'm writing on a Tuesday night. For the past few months, I have observed my writing patterns and Tuesday happens to be the day where I cannot write at all! I just realized that I had my English test on a Tuesday... It's all clear to me now, the fact that I couldn't write this morning was because today's a freaking Tuesday! I will not accept a failure! I WILL NOT! God, please don't let me fail. Of all the things I could write about, I chose the one thing that I couldn't describe: my best childhood memory. I disagreed with the title of the essay at the end of my essay. FML.

Macadamia bit me again just now. Haha. I left my hand inside the blanket it was sleeping in... Serves me right! She's unusually defensive today though; I wonder if it's because I applied some insect repellent or it's because my hands smell like crab =-=  Lazy little hedgehog is sleeping again. So much for being nocturnal huh? She sleeps 24 hours a day! Not a sound from the little fella. Thanks to her, my biological clock is set to wake me up at around five in the morning; I clean her poop and wipe her pee after I fill her food bowl with cat food. It usually takes about five minutes... Unless she stepped on her poop the night before and I have to scrub-scrub-scrub the floor! Anyway, I find her lovely albeit she has bad table etiquette and can be quite the grump. Hpmh.

Grandma--like always-- is pronouncing Macadamia's name wrongly. She calls her Macedonia, a country in southeastern Europe. Ah, grandma~ she calls my neighbour Soleha (a maid we use to have) when her name is  actually Zaleha.

My next blog post will probably be about the lies I want to tell, so be prepared for an entry full of lies! Lies or not though, they're all related to my current situation.

Is it the mating season for crickets again? They are really loud today! I checked my windows to see if they were shut because even my room echoed with the shrill creaking sounds of horny male crickets; it's kind of repulsive when the relaxing sound of nature is actually millions of insects and animals trying to get laid. Yikes. Let's ignore the fact for now.

I know that it's very random of me to want to include something about my love life in a post like this... But what the heck, here's the last line of the traditional ballad Scarborough Fair:

When he has done and finished his work.
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme:
Oh, tell him to come and he'll have his shirt,
And he shall be a true lover of mine. 
Scarborough Fair 

Saturday, 13 October 2012

Dark Ages of my Passion


I've been through this depressing phase before, but I was never as depressed as I am now. What's the problem? I'm not even sure.

I always went back; I was enthusiastic. Now, I just stay at home, waiting for time to pass as I lie on my bed deciding, contemplating. I need time to think, not people to give me warnings. In fact, I'd very much like it if I get kicked out because then, I won't have to explain why I want to leave.

For the past year or so, I told myself to stay because quitting would be a waste--not a mistake-- since I've been in the band for quite some time already. As I dragged on longer, the time I needed to serve got shortened, making leaving an even harder and unworthy a choice.

I know that you feel disheartened already, Apple-nee. To you, the band comes first and all else comes after--or at least that's how it was-- I wonder how you feel and what are your thoughts. It's funny, that you're reading this and wondering who this Apple-nee is when it is in fact you but you're the only one oblivious to what I call you when the rest of the world already knows; I could be wrong, you could have found out; you could have known all this while that you are the one that I am guiltily thinking of.

Things would be bad if my batch's band-obsessed tuba player finds out that yet another one of his friends has lost passion. The guy would be more emotional than I am right now, ignoring people and sitting in a lonely corner with his head down as if he's the one going through this whole dilemma.

My boyfriend is busy with his own life and is frustrated with his own things, unable to hear me out. Actually, I prefer to settle band-related issues by myself because the boyfriend usually make things worse tenfold, and we end up arguing afterwards.

Ah, my brother is back.

Ah, my hedgehog is climbing on top of things she shouldn't fucking go near.

I'm sorry, I'm frustrated...

ARGH! Macadamia just nipped the tissue paper again! Great. Now, she's climbing all over my incense, topping candle holders over... Just blocked the entrance to my candle collection with a teddy bear... MUAHAHAHA NOW SHE CAN'T ENTER! I think she decided to make my candle corner her home... Oh well...

The most unlikely of people texted me. I ended up telling him I was depressed, and we all know I don't usually share my problems with other people--just my journals and occasionally my blog--but he said that friends should look out for each other and that's exactly what he did. His texts were full smileys, a feminine arrangement with a woman's choice of words; it made me feel like I was talking to a girl bestfriend T^T One that I could only dream of having. Thank you, it meant a lot =) and oh, thanks for being the only person who lets me take their scooter for a ride xD

Time to say goodnight.

I'm obsessed with playing D-flat major songs lately. The five flats excite me so much.

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Alienware M14x or hp Pavilion dv4?

Finals have officially begun!

I have never felt anxious about exams because I already know my outcomes. I know what I can do and what I can't; I just live with it unlike SOME people I know who try to memorize as many answers as possibly just so they'd get good grades.

Anyway, instead of fretting of my grades like a normal Asian should, I'm more anxious about getting a new laptop. I have two choices in mind right now: Alienware M14x and hp Pavilion dv4.

Alienware M14x

  • 3rd Generation Intel® Core™ i7-3630QM Processor (6MB Cache, up to 3.4GHz w/ Turbo Boost 2.0)
  • Windows® 7 Home Premium SP1 64bit (English)
  • 14.0" (35.56 cm) WLED HD+ (900p) display (1600X900)
  • 8GB2 Dual Channel DDR3 SDRAM at 1600MHz
  • 1TB 5400RPM Hard Drive
  • 2 GB GDDR5 NVIDIA® GeForce®GT 650M using NVIDIA Optimus™ technology
  • Slot Load 8X DVD+/-RW Drive with DVD+R double layer write capability
  • 2.92kg

Alienware. Gaming laptop. It's about RM5000, which makes me cry since I can't afford it and that my parents will be like this when I tell them I want a new laptop worth half a thousand:

Of course, the main reason why I even considered it was because it's a gaming laptop. Perfect for RPGs, great graphics and decent sound; it's all I need in a laptop. Since I only play offline, I think it's a waste for me to get this laptop. I have very low self-esteem and I'm not very good with people so I can't battle online, I'd panic if something goes wrong and I- and probably the rest of the players- would blame myself when my team loses. 

Tell me that a girl like me shouldn't get a laptop like that because it'd just be wasting. 

Operating system
Windows® 7 Home Premium 64
Intel® Core™ i5-3210M
• 2.5 GHz
Intel HM77 Express

Memory, standard
4 GB 1600 MHz DDR3 (1 x 4 GB)
Memory slots
2 user accessible

NVIDIA GeForce GT 630M (2 GB DDR3 dedicated)
Hard drive description
750 GB SATA (7200 rpm)

Compared to M14x, seeing Pavilion dv4's processor speed at 2.5 GHz makes my heart ache a lot. This looks like your average laptop; plain, boring. It is affordable though, about HALF the price of M14x. My parents would consider getting me this laptop if I asked them since it's only about RM2500. If I work hard and be stingy enough, I could even save enough to buy it!

Tell me to get this one, since it's something a girl like me should have: plain, affordable, plain. 

Ah, I need some comments... I'm always indecisive like this. I really want M14x, but if I think about it economically... T^T BUT I STILL WANT IT...! Anyway, give me your opinions. 

I will not be able to sleep tonight, I'm sure of it. I'll be tossing and turning in bed, thinking about which laptop I should get and how I can earn money fast enough to get myself the one I want. ~!@#$%^&*()_+ It's exam month too! 

Unless my current laptop 'accidentally' falls out my room window, I don't think that my parents will listen to my proposal for a new laptop. Hmph. One time, my siblings and relatives even signed a petition asking dad for an air-conditioner in the hall and he just looked at our signatures, said "meh" and went back to lazing around. 

I can't complain much. My parents are already kind enough to buy me an air ticket to Australia as a gift for my 16th birthday. Asking for a new laptop when they've already spent so much is kind of rude and bratty... Hmm... I guess I'll do enough part-time jobs and earn as much as I possibly can; here's the ironic part of things: my mom doesn't want me working part-time yet she complains that I spend too much of dad's hard-earned money. 

It's late. 

Leave your comments! or just talk to me when you see me. 

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Head in the Clouds

Finals start tomorrow; the opening subject is biology and what am I doing? Planning what to do and where to go when I arrive Sydney this coming December, eating McDonald's, typing with oily fingers and thinking about my pet who is just upstairs.

I simply have NO mood at all to study. I find that even staring at the fan turn is more interesting than reading a line in my biology book. I feel absolutely HOPELESS and I really, really, really regret choosing the science stream. Sometimes, I wonder how my life would turn out to be like if I transferred to convent back in March... Why didn't I though, it's not like the things I'm staying in Nan Hwa for matters a lot -or at least that is what I tell myself- to me. 


Sorry, I was having boobies and bikinis in my head. 

Ah... Sigh... 

I find that my relationship is going downhill as well. As I have more and more freedom, I realize that I don't want to be tied to a single person. In other words, I realize that I'm not ready to commit myself just yet. The reason why I even stay in this current relationship is because I don't want to friendzone him. Honestly, he's like a best-friend that I've never had but since he's a guy, I made him my boyfriend. The fact that I want him only as a best-friend scares me... Could it be that we're too close? So close that I think of him as a brother instead of a partner... I talk about the girl I like with him, I mention how I love soft boobs with pink nipples to him, we share the most embarrassing secrets with each other and we say the darnest things too! I love him... I don't know...

The above paragraph just made my sound like a guy, didn't it? Do not doubt my gender, for I have boobies!

Before November and TIMBC could come, I'm already thinking about the events that are going to happen afterwards. 

I find that this year's final exam is really depressing for me. I just don't want to hit the books! Not to mention that I have to skip a day of the exams because I have to go to Singapore to make my I.C. I'm happy that the subject that I'm going to miss is moral, yet sad at the same time because additional mathematics isn't on the same day but the next, which makes things worse tenfold. 

I'm really lazy, and if you want me to tell you the truth, I DON'T WANT TO GO FOR TIMBC 2012. 

As I thought, not transferring to convent was a BIG mistake. 

I'd lost interest in what I do. I don't see the point in what I do and MUST do anymore. A wise man once said: "If you lose your passion, then it's better to leave than to pressure yourself, myself and everybody here."

It's time to bond with Macadamia again... 

Ah, that's right, I haven't updated this blog in a while... I've got a pet hedgehog, Macadamia. She's an African Pygmy and I'll upload a picture or two when I finally take them. Anyway, I don't keep her in a cage because I see no reason to since I know where to find her during the day. She's nocturnal so putting her in a cage at night is useless and it gives me more work because she gets shit all over her cage... ONE time... ONE time was enough to make me stop putting her in a cage. I'm not sure if letting her run free like this is okay or not though... Are there any other hedgehog owners that don't keep their hedgies in a cage?  

Going to McDonald's

in my underwear.