Misfortune of the Black Dragonflight

If you are expecting this to be a comprehensive history on the Black Dragonflight, then you may leave this page. This is nothing but another one of my Hearthstone rants, though related to Deathwing specifically.

Deathwing has got your back! Yes, Deathwing has got my back! Of all the games I've played with you in my hand, I've only ever put you out twice, and twice, you perished just as quickly that I never had the chance to breathe my reliefs at your glorious exclamation of being POWER INCARNATE. Dear Lord, why must you meet such unfortunate fates every damn time!?

I remember the first time I put you out on the field. I had won for sure, I thought, but of course... Of course he also had a Deathwing in his hand that he could slam down the next turn. We have been bested, my Lord.

That was months ago after I first unpacked you one dull afternoon, screeching in joy.

Then the desperate moment of life and death came again this evening, where only you could have saved me from shame. I would have ended the mage's petty life if it wasn't for Ice Block. So, my last hope, I slammed you down and let my cards be burnt by your rage. The mage had already Polymorphed my Ragnaros, so what could be done to you now, just what?

Ah, I loathe the Mean Streets of Gadgetzan expansion.

Of course the mage would be able to create the perfect custom spell from Kazakus that turns all minions into 1/1 sheep and gives your hero 8 armor.

And just like that, my Dragonlord was reduced to a bleeping sheep. It would have been more bearable if you had just turned to ashes and returned to dwell in the depths of the volcano.

Such misfortunes this Black Dragon is met with when dealt by this hand. Maybe, we were never meant to be? For our ambitions are too great that even the Gods forbid our bond to form, in fear that we will succeed in claiming all creation for ourselves. Might I come to show true affection for you, your magma will be the last that I feel before my cries harden onto the surface of this rock you will forsake. I can only live to use you, as you manipulate me. We shall see whose heart is more corrupt, and whose soul still remain.

Descended with your traits of darkness that luster in waves of my hair and the oblivion behind my eyes, the longing for the kin of those you slaughtered is the pain I will endure. May the cold reflection of the moon glow in the eyes of the flaxen wolf that stalks the borders of such longing.

Bashful Brawls

Sometimes on the loading screen, the Hearthstone tip that appears read something along the lines of "Winning Tavern Brawls do not award additional packs, it's just for fun!" It is as if the developers know that there are people out there who would brawl night and day, winning as many fights as possible just because. Even better if additional packs were rewarded. Unfortunately, life is tough.

On the first day of this week's Brawl, I was so upset I won at least 10 games in one sitting. Drunk on emptiness, what else would I do but to pull up a chair by the hearth? There is always plenty of space for everyone, right?

I'm not always proud of my achievements. This week, I feel like the filthiest human being to breathe the filthy air in the atmosphere, thus the number of Tavern Brawl wins I have achieved even before the week has ended. Ha-ha. 

Take a guess, place your bets! How many brawls did this Luftballon win?

With a clear mind, I'm also so close to achieving Rank 17. I needed one more star. Eentje. Life is tough. Spectating your Rank 6 Priest vs. Shaman was a lot of fun. I kept shouting "SUUUGGEEH" and realising how much better you are at decision making. And I was so jealous when I saw you draw Ysera. I WANT HER. I would have lost the game, if I had played. Instead of playing that 8/8 Jade Golem and giving it +2 health, I would have played the 7/6 Emerald Drake and Power Word Shield just so I can use that one extra card I might pick up. It wasn't until a little while later that I understood why you made the Jade Golem an 8/10-- so it wouldn't die to his 9/9. SENSEI, TAKE ME BACK! Your harshness is amazing, you heartless beast. 

Before brawling, I bawled, terribly, while singing along to Rammstein off-key.

After opening all those packs filled with commons and rares I already have and really do not need, I finally landed myself an epic: Molten Giant, 25-mana 8/8. Ahh, nothing beats the day Deathwing came into my life~ Kyaaa~ My Dragon Lord~ Make me your concubine!

Ahem.

Cough. Cough.

Time to reveal the number of brawl wins this week. Even though it hasn't ended, I'm not getting back on! Why? It's about time I faced my damn responsibilities as a university student! If I'm as serious about my studies as I am with completing my daily Hearthstone quests, I'd graduate with a First Class for sure and also master German, Japanese, and Korean. 

Pics or it didn't happen, right?

HERE WE GO!

In case you think I stole this, there is my noob rank and ID

Who Shall Pay Attention to Such a Designated Hearthstone Rant?

Sigh.

Now, who am I going to blabber my daily Hearthstone Adventures to? Nobody I know cares, nor can they show as much enthusiasm as you did, because of course, as lovers, each other's experiences are just as interesting as if we were experiencing them ourselves. The decks you created are still named after you and the moments I experience in game, the person who I want to share them most with, is you. Coldly, you told me "I'm not that person anymore!". Well, fuck. I thought we could at least still share interests while not being romantically involved. But I suppose after romance withers, a whole being dies, unlike the flowers that bloom time and again when the season is right. A relationship once lost, can it never be recovered? Is a tree not only cut, but completely uprooted? The exposed organisms squirm in the dark soil where Living Roots now dangle free in all their Wrath, who now
is to Nourish the Soul of the Forest? I suppose I am the Celestial Dreamer chasing the myth that you once were the being who carried my Mark of Nature.

This week's Tavern Brawl, I'm sure you know how it goes. After thinking of you excessively, the initial enthusiasm of relating the whole ordeal to you has died down, but I will do it nonetheless. I wanted to take a screenshot, but I thought that since we're not together anymore, I'd have nobody to send it to. Pics, or it didn't happen, right? Can't blame a heartbroken bitch for not taking pics. Anyway, towards the end of one of my games, I had 3 Y'Shaarj, Rage Unbound on the board. It summoned itself a few times in the game. Yay. Great. Clap. Clap. Clap.

Ever since you left, my skills have plummeted. Naturally, since my sensei has discarded this disciple. Do you know how hard I tried moving my noob ass up to Rank 18 just so I can get this season's card back!? And just when I needed 1 more win, I faced a GOLDEN Control Warrior! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!? WHY IS THAT BASTARD EVEN ON RANK 19!?

I admire how good you are at playing games, it really amazes me, your skill. Whenever I saw you hit Legend, I felt so proud... I wish I could see it again. I know the last time I spectated you, you played the 2 shittiest game I have ever witnessed, then you went offline. I wondered, was it because the thought of me made you restless? Perhaps your luck was really just shitty. Speaking of shitty luck, you know how shitty my card draw was when I was playing the Violet Teacher Druid deck? During the late game when I had 8-10 Mana, the only 2 cards I had in my hand were Innervate. Now, cry. Why is there even 2 Innervates in there? WAE!?

If you are reading this, I hope you enjoyed it. If not, I can always lie to myself and believe you are.