My internet is being ridiculously slow these days, so what better way to stop myself from smashing the modem than to blog? Once this "write post" page is loaded, I can spend as much time as I want here, without having to wait... Until it's time to press the orange button that says "publish"
Honestly, I came on here without anything in mind. There's no topic, no emotions that I want to pour out, nor is there anything interesting that's happening at the moment. Right now, all I'm looking at is the screen, I didn't even know that my fingers knew the positions of each alphabet so well! I still have my socks on, my bra is lying on my lap and I'm making a sort of the-fuck-did-I-write-that-for face.
July already, huh?
This morning, I finally forced myself to do some mathematics exercises... CHAPTER ONE T^T I'm a horrible student, I know. I wonder how Siah Pang Seng felt when he walked over to my desk only to see me, his student for a year and a half already, start the first page of the workbook when other people have already finished all the exercises inside.
Even so, it's never too late to start. Hey, at least I'm trying, okay? I know I'm not the best, but I'm putting a little bit of effort into learning something! This is the first time in seventeen years that I voluntarily take out my mathematics book and ask my friends to teach me. I wonder if I'll be able to get a C for mathematics in SPM... Yeah, my hopes aren't too high for it since I'm aiming for the more arty subs like literature and history.
To all my juniors out there, if you choose to go into the science stream even though you know you suck at science and maths, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAAAAAAAAD TIME! Heed my warning! My brother was kind enough to tell me that I'd regret the fuck out of going into the science stream back when he was in form five, but stupid little me didn't take his advice. Please, don't make the same mistake that I made... Albeit bearable, you'd still be left behind.
Dennis facepalmed himself when he found out I was a science student. Everyone knows just how hopeless my ability to understand logic is, and thus have given up on ever hoping that Rachel Cheong Yun Xuan will ever ace mathematical and science subjects. My parents have one eye closed when it comes to me and maths-- shows just how horrible I am, doesn't it? Even grandpa stopped tutoring me... T^T
Biology is the only one science subject that I'm actually good at, probably because it doesn't need much logic and has very very little questions that requires calculations-- thank goodness for that! I failed chemistry because there's too much calculations but passed physics because at least I've got some common sense in me!
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What am I doing? Going on and on and on about my studies. It doesn't comfort me at all that I'm a horrible student! What's worse is that I'm making it known to the world!
Man, now I'm gonna feel all depressed again because I feel under prepared for my SPM. Literature? Still got a handful of poems to study, a few short stories to read and a drama to re-read and analyze. Sigh... I wonder if I can do it after all... I have doubts, you know? I can't remember the texts so well...
Alright, I'm challenging myself. I'll study all the required pieces for literature this Sunday, and I will finish them while sipping a cup of coffee-free caramel frappucino. Of course, I'll enjoy each written piece of art as I go, it would go against my principles not to! I don't believe in brain-dead studying =)
Mr.Internet, I hate you. I have to utilize you now, to search the world wide web for the poems and short stories in my syllabus, not to mention the analysis for the novel Holes and the drama An Inspector Calls. UGH.
Wish me luck. I'm aiming for seven As.
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