To a Special Someone

I like to pretend you're my boyfriend.

They say one should love like they have never been hurt before. Honestly, I didn't think I could. All my troubles seem so far away now, like I haven't a care in the world. After all, love makes the world go round. I must admit, it does hurt a little despite the overflowing sweetness in the river of our raw emotions. We're not thinking about the worst; we're just hoping for the best. 

You're so far away.

Why does it always have to be this way? The people I love are never close to me, and those who are actually close to me are the ones I don't fancy. When will my heart finally settle down for someone who I can see everyday, hold everyday and smile at everyday? I smile for you, but you won't see it; I whisper your name, but you won't hear it. 

People learn from mistakes. 

I'm putting what I've learnt to practice, be like the girlfriend I should have been; someone more forgiving and understanding. I find it silly, that I dated someone which had absolutely nothing in common with me and the worst part was that I hated everything about him. I should have found you sooner, then, I wouldn't have wasted my emotions. But then again, I wouldn't be this patient and forgiving if it weren't for my last relationship. 

I'm much more happier these days.

It amazes me, how you light up my world. You make every morning worth waking up to, and every afternoon worth coming home to, and every night an unwilling end. Of course, now that Rei is in the hospital, my mornings have become dull again since your words won't be there to greet me when I open my eyes. I've been waking up later, also going back to bed more often now that I have no way of receiving your morning greetings. 

I feel like a stupid girl in love.

The things we say sometimes, it's as if we're ten-year-olds playing boyfriend-girlfriend. It makes me laugh, all the attachment-- the overly attached sort. It secretly makes me happy, that you're another fool for love, because you'd do anything for me, just like how I'd do anything for you. I even did my math for you, so you better feel fucking special! Losing sleep and exercising is nothing compared to doing mathematics! You bastard. You make me so happy that I'd even do the one thing I loathe most in the universe for you. 

"Do it for me..."

Yes, my lord.

I would look at your picture and go to sleep with a smile on my face if I had my phone with me. You're gaming today, keeping your friends company. Come to think of it, we won't be spending much time together at all from now on... Need I remind you about SEPTEMBER? Well, since you always always ALWAYS avoid the topic, I'll remind you right now.

You, my dear, are going to have a bad time if you don't think about SEPTEMBER. For the love of God, have you found out what you wanted to do yet!? Dammit, hon, this is no joke. It's already August. Dave is over for the next ten days, so you'll say bye-bye to your research until then, which will be the mid of August already. But oh, YOU HAVE A JOB THE FOLLOWING WEEK. I don't mean to ruin your happy life, but you have about three weeks left before you go to uni. I don't care how much you wanna talk to me, you better do your homework and find out what you love-- fast. NO, YOU CAN'T SAY YOU LOVE ME. 

Your happiness is all that matters, remember? I know I'm making you unhappy by simply reminding you about SEPTEMBER, but hey, if I didn't love you, I wouldn't have bothered with it. I would have just gone along with your ignorance. I can't live with myself if I don't do this. I don't wanna show my mean side just yet, so be a good boy and do what's good for you. 

^^

But ah, we are just friends.