New Year

New year, huh?

It's just another ordinary day. It's not like your life will automatically reset itself and you can start over. I see. That's why people countdown to this day, drink beer, and party till the Sun comes up. They get drunk, and dance to forget all that's happened in the past-- some dance to remember-- as a symbol, to start over fresh the next day; a new year.

January 1st, 2014

I still feel the bluntness, and how almost nothing is worth the excitement. I'm hiding again, away from the people that call themselves my friends. You could say that I've been looking forward to this for a very long time now, the day I finally am able to slide away silently, and disappear from their lives forever. Total detachment.

No calls. No messages. Besides, my phone is always on airplane mode. Now, you'd wonder why I even own a cellphone if it's going to be unreachable almost all the damn time-- I don't play games either. I'm not sure either. There are two people which I will continue to keep in touch with. Wei Wei and Wui Ping.

For the coming four months, I'll read whatever book I fancy that's collecting dust in my shelf-- after I get my driver's license, of course, but before I start college. 

Sigh.

I wonder how things will be like? I'll be alone, but living with my brother who says I'll be his personal chef. No. I don't get paid. The difference between the two of us is so great, how are we even related? That social butterfly shared his ridiculously absurd dream with me this morning. How I was the kind of girl who parties hard, went to clubs and head banged like crazy. We both laughed at that idiotic dream--or perhaps nightmare-- of his. It seems that it is obvious to the world, even to him, that I'm a boring person who prefers to stick with books. Even when choosing curtains for me the other day, Dennis picked out a plain one for me, without even a dot on it as decoration. She likes it plain, he had said to mum.

I always thought I'd never grow up. How wrong was I? Of course, I'm still gullible in ways so ridiculous that you wouldn't even start to believe that someone with such a negative and sombre perspective of the way things are could be so naive, and stupid.

Aunt Mun handed me a piece of chocolate from After Eight. As I was about to nibble the square piece of dark brown sweetness, she said it'd taste better if I ate it after eight o'clock. I took it away from my lips and stared at her. Even Lisa had processed aunt Mun's words as mere lies, right after they came out of her mouth. But there I was, leaving the chocolate to rest on my belly, not even one bite. Secretly, I wanted to believe in the magic. I took my first bite at around nine o'clock that night-- it still tasted horrible. Minty and sweet. Disgusting.

Ask Jor, and he'd tell you about the fun he has saying unbelievable things to me that I'd always believe. Fuck you, man.

My life will continue as usual. The Sun will still rise in the east, pigs won't fly and chickens will remain flightless and whether or not the egg comes first will still continue to stir the mind of many people.

Happy Life no.3 still has a few pages left, thanks to my forgetfulness of leaving it Home while I went to KL.

Very soon, I'll be listening to the song Highway to Hell as I speed down the roads leading to the big city. It shall become my regular routine.

Maybe this new year might be different after all.

Beer, anyone?

Cheers. And although I don't care, happy new year.