Holidays Turn Me into a Zombie Otaku

I think I’ll just do what I do best. Write. Hm. Although, I think it has become a rather serious problem for  me, writing, it’s like I’m obsessed with it. I know very well that isn’t the case, since I sometimes complain about it, but still, it’s the only thing I can think of in situations like this where I feel alone in a sort of comforting yet somewhat awkward silence.

Should I write a letter to you?

I’m writing, on my computer and also yours .  It’s kind of frustrating, that I see almost every word with  a jagged red line underneath it. After all, I’m writing in a language that’s not set as the laptop’s default language so I guess it’s understandable that it keeps highlighting my “mistakes”.

I have no idea what I’m doing actually. I have access to your computer, yet I’m just here, writing? I can write on my own laptop, or even in my journal, so why am I doing it here? I have no  God damned idea. Okay, I admit, I was going to fill this page with sweet words, write a love letter to you so that when you come back, you’d see my surprise but I guess my plan backfired. Yeah, typical.

All these Dutch words on your screen looks fascinating though. Sticky notes are plaknotities—very cute. I wonder if you’re having a hard time reading this, since most of the words are underlined; it looks like a poorly written highschool essay by a three-year-old! Ah, that’s better! Changed the font size from 11 to 12!

I want to write you a poem, but nothing seems to be twinkling in my head right now. All I can think of is the crap I’m putting down as each second floats by.

This is a rather creepy software, allowing us to access each other’s computer like this with just a mere click of the Mouse! I browsed through the pictures, your music library and videos folder. I don’t dare click on anything else, since I’m afraid I might end up screwing things up. I ended up here with the romantic idea of leaving you a letter after rummaging through your libraries. Yes, yes, this isn't one bit romantic, I know. Heck, I might even post it on my blog! If you allow me, of course; after all, this was supposed to be a letter for YOU! Now, wtih almost every word underlined, I really can’t tell if I made any mistakes.

The Sami is online. Whut? Since when did I have a contact named The Sami. Did Ladybird change his name? Then, I realized, The Sami is YOUR contact.

Sorry hon, this little note isn't romantic at all… Did I just say “little note”? This is no note… This is one long ass piece of my mind! The human brain is a wonderful thing, it can come up with so much crap when it’s not occupied and when you need it to process critical thoughts, it comes up with this: poop.

I whip my hair back and forth… Sorry. I used conditioner on it just now and it’s just really soft now; couldn't resist.

***

Yeah, I typed that on someone else's computer.

What do you know? It's a quarter past two in the morning and I'm still in front of my laptop! This is why I don't watch anime. Once I start, I don't stop! I guess the two-week break turned me into this zombie otaku again... 

Earlier today, I had a little chat about anime, and it made me realize how forgetful I actually am! I said I've never watched Fate/Zero before, but then, in the back of mind, a plot unfolded and scenes from the anime I don't remember watching flashed through like shooting stars, so I Googled Fate/Zero. I realized... OMG, I've watched it before! I was not very pleased with myself and it bugged me for a good while, that I forgot watching it. I frowned, wondering just when the heck did I watch Fate/Zero! After I finish this post, I'll look through my old blog posts that have the anime tag on them. Hopefully, I'll find something! I never fail to visit bloggie whenever I'm in otaku mode~ It just adds to the late-night-I-should-get-a-life feeling. 

Right now, I'm watching To Aru Kagaku no Railgun S. Jenson suggested the anime, and yes, things are getting pretty interesting in this season! I expected more, but I'm not gonna complain since I sorta like it. Fufufu. Once in a while, I call out Kuroko's name~ 

I wonder if I should read some manga... I never really did have patience with them. I abandoned Ao no Exorcist, Jigoku Shoujo, Petshop of Horrors, some yaoi manga and even the one I used to translate! I'm just horrible really, when it comes to chasing after chapters. I guess I'm not very attached to anything... As always, laziness rules and I succumb to its slob. 

Not gonna think about that.

I would love some ramen and green tea. Man... I haven't had tea in a while. Oishi brand green tea is making me miss Thailand a lot... I CAN'T WAIT TO BUY EVERY GENMAI FLAVORED OISHI GREEN TEA AT SEVEN ELELE WHEN WE GO TO THAILAND THIS DECEMBER!

I Love Green Tea

While I Download Anime...

As I type each word, my download is slowly being completed; kilobyte by kilobyte. Every time my finger lands on a key, it makes this cute sound-- though I doubt that anyone else would find the sounds of plastic keys being hit as cute.

Tap tap tap tippy tap tap tap~

Roughly one hour more until my download for season I of A Certain Scientific Railgun is completed. Since I have tomorrow off thanks to Mr.Haze, the rather suffocating guest from Indonesia, I'll probably stay in my room ALL day and watch a marathon of 24 episodes! It's been a while since I've been like this and I kind of miss it. Ramen at midnight while watching anime with my legs folded in front of me, the steam blurring my spectacles that I find myself lost without... I feel like starting the marathon right after it's done downloading, but I know, it's bad for my health if I stay up all night and sleep when the sun begins to rise.

What now, what now?

I actually just erased two paragraphs. I didn't think that they were suitable, and even if they were, I didn't feel like sharing. I don't know... In my head, the Carl Orrje Piano Ensemble's version of  After You Become Used to the Sea is on loop. I love that song, though I didn't enjoy the anime very much. Maybe now that I'm older, I should try re-watching Only Yesterday and Ocean Waves, see if I like them now! 14-year-old me didn't quite get the meaning of those two Ghibli films because Spirited Away left me wanting adventure, instead of watching something more down to earth.

After You Become Used to the Sea is a very nice song, but the sheet music for it is hard to find since it isn't composed by Joe Hisaishi. Even in the Studio Ghibli Best Collection Piano Book, this nostalgic piece couldn't be found. I searched online all morning in vain. The sign that let me know it was time to give up was that even the China website didn't have the song! If it isn't even on a China website, you bet that it doesn't exist! If I'm desperate enough, I might try searching for Japanese websites!

Neh, this is a rather boring post isn't it?

It's not a video. It's just the music that's been stuck in my head.

One little percent by one God damned little percent! I wonder how long this will take... In the mean time, I'm  probably going to help dad with a favour since mum can't be relied on when it comes to doing things on the internet. Dad's in South America at the moment, Whatsapping with mum, giving instructions that's driving her nuts. He texted her: "Show Bom-Bom(my nickname =-=) this message, she'll know what to do when she's there(website)."

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...
...

Did the upload just fail...?

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (時をかける少女)

AH! I just finished watching another anime. I was supposed to watch a horror movie with my sister, but she didn't answer my call so I thought fuck it, I'll watch something else on my own.

Plot Summary: When 17-year-old Makoto Konno gains the ability to, quite literally, "leap" backwards through time, she immediately sets about improving her grades and preventing personal mishaps. However, she soon realises that changing the past isn't as simple as it seems, and eventually, will have to rely on her new powers to shape the future of herself and her friends.


Anime News Network



This is a 90-minute movie, not a series, so you can give it a go if you haven't the time for a full series.

I find this movie rather unsatisfying. It's a personal thing. I like to imagine myself as the protagonist whenever I watch a movie, so whenever the main protagonist makes a decision that I don't like, I'd be twitching with dissatisfaction and pursing my lips, continuing the movie with a sour face. Yes, the main character, Makoto, did a horrible job making horrible decisions.

I don't know what to write, really. If I write too much about the movie, you guys will have no fun in watching it anymore!

This anime is more of a shoujo anime, it's very girly so I doubt that guys would enjoy it. Hmm...

Anyway, here's a site that gives you HD anime downloads: RevoHD. Though the anime choices are limited, those available are really good. Quality over quantity, right? They also have HD releases of films from Studio Ghibli. Another shoujo-anime-movie you guys could try out is Hotaburi no Mori e.

I'll retire for the night. I hope the links I provided helped! I'm not sure how many of you are like me, forever in search of sites to download stuff because streaming is just too... I have no idea why I hate streaming. Could be because of the annoying ads and low quality videos... Hmm...

If the person I liked confessed to me on a summer's evening while he gave me a ride home on his bicycle,
I wouldn't want to undo what I heard,
even if we were bestfriends.
I'd hug him from behind;
let him know I feel the same. 

Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day (あの日見た花の名前を僕達はまだ知らない)

I've finally finished watching this touching eleven-episode anime! T^T I cried so much at the end of the series that it was as if my pet had just got eaten. Thank goodness nobody walked in on me crying in front of my laptop; I was wrapped up inside my blanket, wiping my tears with it.

Literally translated from its original Japanese title though, this anime should be called "I still don't know the name of the flower we saw that day" instead of "The flower we saw that day" but I guess the shorter the better? Haha.

Simply put, this anime is about friendship.

I'm not one to care about my relationship with people, but this anime made me WISH that I had cared. Everyone has at least one childhood friend, right? I don't, really, because those who I spent running around barefooted with all became the typical 'lala' in another school. Seriously, even my dad has a really close childhood friend that he's still in contact with: Lisa. No, not my sister; they just happen to have the same name.

Okay, back to the anime:

There's this group of six that calls themselves Super Peace Busters. They were childhood friends. One summer's day, one of the members, a girl named Menma, drowned in a river. After Menma died, they all grew distant because secretly they've been feeling guilty and haven't been able to move on ever since. To each of them, they contributed as much to her death. About ten years later, Menma's ghost came back, saying she has a wish to fulfill and only the group leader, Jintan, could see her. Because of Menma's reappearance after all these years, the others were slowly drawn back together; the story thus begins to unravel, with secret feelings being exposed and revelations to new relationships. They were finally able to move on =')

This is Menma.

This anime portrays different personalities that each of us may have, and from watching it, I sorta found out which kind of friend I am. I must say, I'm the worst kind. I can't tell you exactly which character portrays my personality because each of them have their points that I think I have. 

Sad to say, most friendship these days aren't going to last, and the kind of long-lasting relationship we see in movies are either things of the past or they are just dreams of a person. I don't know about the rest of you but even though I yearn for the kind of friendship that is pure and eternal, I still can't find it. No matter what people say, they don't accept you for who you are, because there are just some things that people DON'T want to accept. How can that type of relationship be pure then? I distance myself away from the people I call friends because I know, they don't mean always mean well. One could say that I don't have friends though, because to me, everyone is just an acquaintance; I don't share secrets or my feelings with them, I just hang out and chill with them. I know nothing about them either.  

Tomodachi... 

I don't want to be all emo on an anime post, so here's the ending song of the anime. Very touching~ I bet some of you can relate to it. 

I'll probably visit Josh's Anime Sheet Music Collection now and download the sheet music so I can emo on the piano in the morning.

Good night loves~! 

Ranting over Fate/ Series

I'm now watching the prequel to Fate/Stay Night, and it just drives me nuts when I see Arturia and Gilgamesh again! AHHH! I have a weird fetish for the both of them being together... But the creators just want to drive fans like me nuts by NOT giving us what we want to see! The great King Arthur will never accept a person like Gilgamesh, now will she?

GAHH! BUT HE SO HOT! And she so pretty!

See, I'm not the only one who wants to see them together!

I don't think that Type Moon will release a visual novel that lets Gilgamesh end up with Saber though, that would just ruin the main root of Fate/Stay Night! But who cares! The two of them look good together! Gilgamesh is a scumbag though, if only he was sweeter... Hmm... Oh my...!!!

What was it that I wanted to write again...? Hmmm... 

Oh yes...

I think that I'm actually in love with Arturia... I don't know why, but Arturia reminds me of HER... It's weird, I know! Every time I see Saber, I get so excited that I cover my face with my pillow! Just what the hell is wrong with me! 

I'm well aware of the fact that Zongxu is waiting for my text, and I'm fantasizing about man made characters coming to life, shaping a side story, etc. etc. etc... Zongxu is short of time, I know... But well, I am simply more interested in THIS. Besides, I'm way too lazy to go look at my phone... Wait... I haven't showered since morning... OOPS~ O_O

Anyway, I'll be surfing the net, hoping that some juicy fan work might pop out somewhere! I already read a short story about IF THEY ENDED UP TOGETHER. The two of them are perfect for each other, don't you think? It turns me on somehow, when I see perfect anime characters together! AHHHH! 

I got so carried away by the thought of Saber and Gilgamesh together that I stopped watching Fate/Zero! Man, if only Saber didn't fall for Shirou and accepted Gilgamesh... I would have nose bled myself to death while play-reading Fate/Stay Night two years ago! Lady GaGa! I shouldn't have deleted Fate/Stay Night from my computer! ARGH! I didn't even finish collecting those perverted CGs! I wonder if I should re-download the game... And play it all over again... But... 50++ hours is long... Even my two-week holiday wouldn't be enough for me to finish it! 

Oh the urge! THE URGE! Is there band practice tomorrow?   

I Don't Even Know What I Wrote Down There...

HISASHIBURI~

I'm getting all anime-ish again lately, and I've gotten so obsessed with Ao no Exorcist that I bought blue contact lenses. Nyehehehe, now, if only I could get blue flames glowing around me, then I'd look just like Rin!

Twins are hot, especially when one is evil. I don't know how to explain it, but an evil twin just excites me! It's like... I WANT AN EVIL TWIN TO TORTURE ME...? Wait... WHAT!? I can't believe that I even thought of that... I think it's the other way round: I want to be the evil twin who tortures my twin's date because I'm jealous. Hmph!

Ah, a horror movie with twins in it, truly a mind-fuck.

Lovely Bloggie, how are you doing? I've almost stained the last page of my journal, so now I'm seeking you for company. Tapping is always better than scribbling, I feel happy when I hear keyboard-san sing in joy when my fingers touch it... I FEEL LIKE A MUSICIAN =x

I wanna write a serious-alternative post, but I just don't feel it. Somehow, there's SO SO SO much I wanna get out, but I feel like nobody is willing to listen... Then what are you for, you ask? Simply to make me feel better, I guess... Since you-know-who is a busy boy...

Day four without him, feels so dull, my days... I thought that I could survive, and keep my habits without anyone subtly keeping me under control, but I guess I was wrong. It's only the fourth day, and my old habits have returned... I have become a creature of the night once more... The creature that stays in her room, with nothing but her laptop... THE FOREVER ALONE RACHEL...

Hontoni... When you ask me what I'm up to, my reply would either be anime, or gaming, nothing else. And if I don't reply, it means that I'm either asleep, or you're just not worth my time. I know, I know, this image I'm giving you is like I live in the dark, wear round spectacles, dress in dark clothing and have long messy hair... But trust me, I'm not THAT much of a loner. I don't like black either.

 Download speed: 3kb/s... DAMN YOU!

My fingers are getting numb, and they are very accustomed to keyboard-san already. Up, down, right, left, enter, space, escape... I know you all too well... Sigh... I guess this is what RPGs do to a person. All those quests... Not finishing them just makes me feel itchy all over! I know, I know, I'm weird! But what can I say...  I love RPGs... Because they make me feel good about myself... Like I'm not useless... I save the day in the game, but in reality, I'm just wasting my day in bed, neglecting the chores that I actually have to do in real life. It's like a drug sometimes... Ten minutes of heaven, probably...

I seek comfort in the world of fantasy when reality doesn't hold on to me. I'm a corpse, half of me is in reality, but the other half isn't: If reality doesn't pull strong enough, then I'd just fall into the rabbit hole... But of course, I AM NOT THAT USELESS! WHAT AM I? ALICE!? AS IF! But... It would be nice though, if I were Rachel in Wonderland. HAHAHA it'll be another twisted story...

I like to reflect the ugly sides of everything, I notice the negativity of everything but never the positive. Give me something and I'll tell you how bad it is right away. I always hold back though, when I give my comments... Because... Well... As twisted as I am, I actually don't like making people feel bad... with terms and conditions applied: People I dislike are obviously excluded, which means just about everyone =)

Smiling at the end of that, I am a nut-job, aren't I? Now, I wonder, what kind of people will I be able to meet when I become a psychologist? I like sick people, they make me feel challenged... Ehehe...  I'll go fish in the field with my patients! YAY!

I think my writing is getting from bad to worse. I should just abandon this whole hobby and aim for a boring but stable job. But... MEH, I CAN'T SIT STILL! Even when someone is massaging me, though it feels damn good, NOT MOVING MAKES IT FEEL NOT GOOD... Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle~!

Blue contacts, blue contacts~ Ao no contacts~ Ao no contacts~ NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA~


Thank you for wasting your time~

Please come again~

Take care~

Let's Celebrate! with a lousy movie

Hello, my dears! I’m back, for the first time in… Hey… How long has it been since my last blog post? Anyway, I’m writing this post using Microsoft Word in the middle of the night, since I have no internet connection and have just finished a horrible anime. I just CANNOT wait to write about how much it SUCKS. Hmph!

Just so you know I’m on holiday. And no, I’m not on a deserted island in the middle of the Caribbean with no Wi-Fi doing perverted stuff to you-know-who. 

Alright, enough with the pointless chit-chat. I don’t wanna err AGAIN. I go astray WAY too often when I’m writing. So, now, I am seriously gonna start bitching about how bad the movie was.

Oh,oh,oh!

The movie isn’t something from the year 2012 though. In fact, it’s an anime from 2006… Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve become cut off from the world ever since Lappy got screwed last year. 

Studio Ghibli. Why does everyone have such high expectations from them!? Of course, I’m also one of those people who really look forward to touching works by the studio. Since I’m writing about a 2006 one, I’m sure you all have seen it already: Tales From Earthsea. Skip this post if you want. We all know that Rachel Cheong isn’t exactly the best movie-watcher in town.

OK! So… Where do I begin? Hmm… It sucks. The movie sucks.

I don’t usually say that something sucks, even if it sucks… But THAT was just TOO horrible.

The beginning wasn’t epic, the ending didn’t make me cry, the climax… Was there even one…? The plot was something like ALL my blog posts, in short, it was messy.

Shows with dragons are supposed to be epic right? But this one wasn’t. The hell! I don’t even know what the dragons were for! They just made a… one minute appearance. How dull. And the dragons weren’t even drawn in a pretty way… They reminded me of skinny fish heads and human bones.

Another minor detail that made me lose the mood to watch it was how the characters were drawn… A seventeen-year-old prince looked like a God damned five-year-old! And by the time the movie ACTUALLY starts, he should be about at least twenty already! But… Oh well… He still looked 15. Maybe even younger.

The ending was crap. The dragon flew prince charming to something like a faraway land, but within minutes… The mage, the lady AND THE HORSE already climbed the hills, walked through the plains and stood in front of them. DID THEY EVEN THINK THE ENDING THROUGH!? GOD!

I don’t know if it’s me, or it really is that way, but,  Tales From Earthsea was worse than a RPG; it doesn’t have much quests for you, and it isn’t challenging AT ALL. Perhaps I have been too busy with Aveyond II lately. Can anyone tell me how do I find that bloody squirrel commando?

The villain from Earthsea reminds me of Orochimaru from Naruto(sorry if I got the name wrong, not a big fan of Naruto). Their goals are similar too! That is to seek eternal life. Moreover, they dress in women’s clothing, look gay, have freakishly fair complexion, and have snaky voices. Not to mention long hair as well. Oh, and another thing that they both have in common is that they actually succeeded in finding the secret to eternal life!

Uh-oh… Looks like SOMEBODY has been slacking off A LOT.

This is the only movie from Ghibli that didn’t make me waste my tissues, apart from Only Yesterday which I literally skipped through, because of the plotlessness.  Miyazaki has to teach Miyazaki junior some stuff! Or else… Oh, I don’t even want to think about how horrible things will become!

I’ll let you in on a secret… The reason why I’m even dating who I’m dating now is because of Studio Ghibli! Hehehe… 耳をすませば~

Did you guys miss me? Leave a comment to show that you guys care. PLEASE~?

I’m going to close this blog soon, because… I blog about THINGS THAT NO ONE REALLY EVER CARES ABOUT. 

I am heartbroken, truly, I AM. 

My Week

I would love to describe my past week with the ONE word I love most- SAME. But, my brother had to throw a birthday party on Friday, so... I can't use SAME T^T

Friday... 1st of July, Sarah's birthday, but Dennis decided to celebrate their birthday together since his birthday is not far away, 7/7.

It was...

@_@

I DARE NOT EVEN STEP INSIDE MY OWN HOUSE WHEN I GOT BACK...

...
...
...

=_=

It was like... AHHHHHH! SO MANY PEOPLE... I scared myself.

While waiting for SZN, me and Jesvin took some food and ate INSIDE cause... There was too many people, and she didn't want to see those ACS people.

So... My bro's iPhone got stolen. YAY. Maybe he learnt his lesson... BUT I DOUBT IT. He never learns. Hehe. Something stolen at your own party. HAHAHA WTH MAN! I know, I'm not helping.

The worst part is... THEY DIDN'T CALL ME WHEN THEY CUT THE CAKE T^T

I was busy in my room playing Draw My Thing and Letterblox on OMGPOP. LOL. I missed the site, been such a long time since I logged in T^T

But... I'M BACK! PANDA! I'M BACK!

Yes... It's the start of July, closer and closer and closer to my PMR trial... Closer to PMR... But, oh well... I'm watching more anime and reading more manga. Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi and Gosick ended... I hated their endings, so I can't accept the fact that they ended, and that is why I'm reading the manga...

Blood-C is another new anime that only started airing recently, thanks again to SZN for recommending Blood-C. Hehe, she also introduced me to watch Togainu no Chi and Gosick.  But... I STILL WONT GO KOREAN!!!!!!!!!!

Blood-C... Sucked. I know I can't tell much from the first episode, but... The first episode was... BORING. So predictable, and so SLOW moving. The main character is so neardy-looking, it made me lost the mood. Blood + was better. They just had to ruin things by making up an anime called Blood-C...


ANYWAY... Ahhh, I shouldn't be doing things like this when I'm suppose to be studying...

UGH.

Why do I need to sit for ANOTHER monthly test if my trial exam is just... Another month away? Isn't it just stupid? I'm gonna get shouted at for getting bad grades again. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS SAVE ME THE TROUBLE AND JUST SKIP THE MONTHLY TEST?! @#$%^&*

ARGH!

My birthday is gonna be relaxing this year, it's after PMR =D So I can skip the next day, or the rest of the week =D I'll just go get another MC from the doctor =D

AHEM.

I'm thinking about... Not celebrating. Well... Maybe... Cook something for myself and a few friends... And that's it. No fancy big party like my bother and sister, no getting $200 presents or a dozen Domo-kun =_=

Ehehe, inviting four and a half months in advance, hope you'll make it back. Which I doubt you will. There's always things more important to do. Mm hmm. Let's all hope you get a Deepavali holiday =D

...
...
...

If there was a knowledge tube thing that allows me to download knowledge into my head, and lets me delete it whenever I want... I WILL SO GET IT... But, nah... They wont ever invent something like that. Unless... We all become robots. !!! That would be bad... I don't wanna eat oil everyday! Even if it's burger flavored, it'll still be oil! AHHHH!

Why am I not asleep? Bet Aunty Owl is already asleep, and she had Starbucks! Gah! I'm nocturnal. The bbq just now didn't help much... I'm hungry again... Uyuyu...

Funeral tomorrow... AGAIN.

Why do people keep dying around here?

My sisters want to go for funerals... Maybe I should just let Sarah take my place tomorrow. Sheesh. They don't ask "Who WANT to go for funeral" they just ask "who CAN". Of course, everyone can, we just don't want to... Nah... Anyway... I go cause I want the $10.

After that... I'll have ice-cream, and my $10 will fly... =_=

My, my... It's almost 4 already, I am so disappointed in myself. Why can't I be normal and sleep at 9? Is it cause I slept from 4 to 7.30 just now?

IDK... I just wanna go hug Suzuki-san. I wonder if I should get Zongxu a human-sized doll... So he wont have to rub his bolster... Hmmm... I have plenty of time to save up before his birthday =D



Have a... Good... MORNING?! >_<

I hope my clock is wrong =x




Lalala~

I look like a panda O_O

THAT IS BAD!







MemeMePANDArachel_0353

I'm Always Tired...

I'm always tired. Recently, it's been getting worse, I can't keep myself awake and I don't even have the strength to talk properly...

...
...
...

I think... I will go sleep now...

But sleep doesn't really help. I might sleep too much and end up not waking up at all. Scary. But... Not so very scary. I'd rather die in my sleep and live in a dream, if it's a nightmare, then I'll find a tree where I can hide inside forever, and if I eventually starve to death in my own dream... Then... I have no idea where I'll end up...

My anime activities are less this year. Two series at a time, but both are ending already. Episode 22 and 23 of Gosick made me cry, so sad. Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi ended already so I'm reading the manga to make myself feel better. Ah, BL... Nothing gets better than that...

Ehehe, I'll be watching Studio Ghibli's most recent movie- The Borrower Arrietty ... After the download finishes. And... Ah... I've gotta go get the subs. Hmm... I downloaded so many movies recently, I scared myself O_O

I think my laptop will take no more... So I have to WATCH WATCH WATCH... But... Mum's giving me pressure about STUDY STUDY STUDY. Oh... If only I had the STFU Button in real life...

Anyway...

I'm not really happy right now. I'm tired, I'm upset, and I'm sighing cause I did something terribly stupid simply cause I felt like it. Yes, you can be upset, pissed off and call me an idiot and have myself call me an idiot again... You rarely get angry, that's why I always do this. I CAN'T BE THE ONE GETTING PISSED OFF ALL THE TIME HONEY! That just makes me... Feel so wrong about myself, I'd feel bad and dump all the crap talk on you making it look like YOUR FAULT, when clearly, it's MY OWN FAULT.

ARGH!

This just never gets better!

Yes. My fucking relationship is going downhill.

Oh well, what can I say? I'm just the type of irrational girlfriend that doesn't give a damn about how my boyfriend feels as long as I feel good. Yeah, you can curse me now. I'm such a useless bitch, I know, tell me something I don't please. I'm selfish, inconsiderate, blah blah blah... I like girls, I like guys, I like BL and Yuri blah blah blah... I fell for your first crush and stuff blah blah blah... I fell in love with a girl, or girls, or even my friend and all that crap. AH. Tell me some of the stuff about myself that I don't know about.

I'll just go squat in the corner of my room and draw circles while I sob now. But first, I have to turn out the lights. But before that, I have to end this post.



...
...
...

When you walk away I count the steps that you take. Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you.

When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too.

When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay...

I miss you.

Avril  Lavigne

When You're Gone

I know I always do stuff too late. I'm sorry. I love you.

Ahhhhh~

Ahhh~ I've finally started on Sekai-ichi Hatsuiko. AHHHH~ My goodness. I wonder why homosexual love relationship excites me. Heck, they excite me more than my own STRAIGHT relationship. Though I think that my boyfriend is gay. 

Tee-hee~ After watching 5 episodes and the OVA, I'll stop watching and READ the manga now. Continue to watch episode 6 and 7 while I wait for the release of episode 8!!! Yes! It will be out by tomorrow NIGHT! So will episode 19 of Gosick! Ahhhhhh, another reason why I love Fridays. But... Some things just ruin the love-Friday mood. The top reason is of course Rebecca Black's awful song Friday. Don't remind me.

Wow. After watching Sekai-ichi Hatsuiko, lives of manga authors and editors are THAT scary O_O

BEHOLD! The editors.

Aha~ Editor-in-Chief. Takano. 

He reminds me of Usagi from Junjou Romantica.

The perfect seme. AHHHH~

Ritsu. Brown hair, green eyes... 

The same as Misaki from Junjou Romantica.

Only...

Misaki is cuter~

Nakamura Shungiku sure is good at writing BL. Ahhhh~ I love her~

I don't know why, but in BL, the seme tend to have a square face, and the uke have... Sharp chin and big eyes... More girly... But... DAMN, they just look so good together, making me feel jealous.

Always wondering how it feels like to date a girl, I know I can experience it someday... But... The thing I'm more interested in knowing is, how does it feel like to be a guy, that dates another guy =x

I always have these fantasies of my life turning out like those in manga and anime. AHAHAHA. Suddenly, I feel like being a guy. The main purpose of course, is so that I could date another guy, and be gay. Hehehe. I just make you want to slap me, don't I?

Stories... They are too good to be true. Why wont she just tell me that she likes me too?! That will make everything more dramatic, and I'll have to choose between her and him which I really can't but truthfully can!!! Oooh, that would make me in the middle, acting as a rope for tug of war. Fair skin, pretty legs, shiny eyes and soft hair... Ahhh~

GEEZUS!

I have to STOP thinking about her, or else, this is going to be BAD for ME. I'll be stuck at home writing about my own yuri fantasies if she still wont leave my mind. I never tried writing yaoi... WAIT... I have... 

Never mind... I will now go to Mangafox and excite myself to sleep.

I blush, I jump, I close my eyes, wrap myself in my blanket and roll in my rocking chair while watching BL. 

Bewwweweweweweeewww~

Sore demo ii... Orewa daijobun... Demo... Komenasai... Tanjoubi anata... Komenasai!!! Hontoni komen! >_<

I don't know what else to say. No, I seriously DON'T KNOW WHAT to say...

I'm so cold... I'm really cold... I'm shivering... And the AC isn't even on... BRRRR... What happened? Certainly not because of Coke... I haven't had Coke in a long time ^_^

Uwaaaaaaaa~

Once you think about something, you get worried and decide NOT to do it... But you know what? Just go for it... Like me... I said that I would be giving manga reading a rest... Well... When I actually read page one... I can't stop until I finish it. And about NOT watching BL anymore... Screw that too... Without it, I'd be tearless already. Ish. Love is a cruel thing, so... Watching homos feels good. Cause... Duuuuhhh... They're homos, you can't get jealous... Although... I do most of the time...

May I ask? How do you think I feel now?

Happy right!!!

Can you see through my words though... Am I happy?

Who knows...

WELL THEN...

The anime that I've download/watched... 97% of them are BL. On my computer, only 3 are those action/horror/boy-girl-romance... The rest... Yaoi~

WHAT?

At least it's better than taking drugs right?

I wonder when will the 3rd OVA for Koisuru Boukun be released~ Ah... Thank you Shin Yi for all the wonderful BL~ I was almost outta BL to watch. You saved me??? =D

What is it that I'm doing? I know damn well why I'm shivering. I always shiver when I'm holding something back. Just gotta get used to it I guess...

I turn my head to the East, I don't see nobody by my side.

I turn my head to the West, nobody in sight.

So I turn my head to the North, swallow that pill that they call pride...

The old me's dead and gone... But the new me's gonna be alright...

Ohh... I've been traveling on this road too long,

Just tryna find my way back home...

The old me's dead and gone...

Dead...

And...

Gone...

Guess everyone knows that song... I just kinda miss it... Reminds me of something...

Where will all the heartbrokenness go now.

Why do my eyes open so big and allow me to smile when I feel so much like doing the opposite.

Why is it that I wont allow myself to write what I really feel...

Why am I still smiling when I'm dying inside...

My head feels so heavy...

I just keep smiling... But... I'm sad...

Why wont I admit that I'm sad... Why do I continue to smile even when I'm alone with myself...

Why...

Why...

I don't know which is it...

I did say... Don't blame me for being selfish... That's why... I... But in the end... It was... It was actually worse than I had expected... If it was another person... I would have just told you straight... I didn't want you to know cause... Isn't it the best...?

Tell me...

Wouldn't you like to live like a kid... Being happy and all that...

They can be happy, because they don't know anything yet... And so... By not knowing anything... It would be just another boring day for me... Another year for you... We'd all be happy. I'd rather keep that to myself and  kill it slowly... But then... I just couldn't do it... I should have never said anything... I am sorry... For being so selfish... Then I guess you wont be needing the so-called present anymore...

Still...

Even if it wasn't you...

Urushi...

Although that pretty much did the worst.

I will kill him...

Sah...

He died when he was 30.
I never met him.
He was killed.
They were jealous.
They accused him of being a spy.
They dug a hole,
Threw him down,
Smashed him with rocks...
Until he died and nothing was left.
It took the others three days to find his remains...

Jealousy...

Luckily, I'm not worth it.

Being a nobody does have some advantages...

I will return to the shadows where I was first born...

Disaster... Not... Miracle... 

All I Wanted to say...

What happened to the pig...?

Since tomorrow is gonna be a busy day. I'm gonna go to bed. Getting shouted at while using my laptop is not fun.

So...

What happened to the pig?

Now, I've seen everything.

A pig pilot, who talks, and has a funny looking mustache who wears sunglasses.

I'm so upset. They stopped the fan-translation for Yosuga no Sora. The original company didn't want it to be translated... The game is copyrighted, and the company don't permit the free fan-translation project... Sad... Does this mean that I will never... EVER... Play it...?

Maybe watching the anime will be enough. 

Twelve episodes. Episode 11 will be released on Monday, the 13th...

That reminds me... Isn't somebody's birthday coming up... December... 14...

Uhhhh...

My grandma??? 

I feel like drinking something sweet.

Before I go to Bed-

I can't help it...

Every holiday... I become more and more UNHEALTHY.

Sleeping at 7am, waking up at 4pm, bathing at 1am. Then continue whatever I feel like doing until I fall asleep.

One of these days... I'm gonna end up on a hospital bed. Soon enough, you'll see me sleeping inside my coffin.

CHOI!!!!!!!!!

Right.

I think I should give BL a rest and start watching some boy and girl romance anime. I guess I'll do legal stuff once in a while, for now, I'm just gonna watch fansubs =D I will never buy manga though...

Reading manga is hard work. I think I'll stop for a bit... Maybe continue when I feel like it. I wonder how long they take to scanlate a volume... Haa... I'm so tired I don't even care anymore.

Yosuga no Sora. Starting the first episode, let it load first.

Yosuga no Sora is actually an ero visual novel. I think it must be good that's why they made the anime. Like Fate/Stay Night, and I think Togainu no chi... Which reminds me... I have to watch that too~ And I think I'm gonna try playing Yosuga no Sora when the English version is released, it's completed, just... Waiting for the release date =)

Maybe watch Angel Beats and Hellsign in between... Letter Bee doesn't look too bad either...

Death Note can wait. I will own it for a long long time. Unless... It get's stolen or broken or scratched =(

Done loading~

I wonder... What will I do next...

In truth, I'm just running away, I'm scared of tomorrow, and I want to do everything as soon as I can. I wonder what tomorrow holds. I try to see the world as only this, so that in I will not hurt myself. I try to ignore the reality, I stay alone because the world is scary and complicated.

I want to live like this forever because I'm being taken care of and I don't have to worry. Everyone is growing old. I wonder how I will deal with the death of the ones precious to me.

Things aren't as simple as they may seem. I wonder why... I am worrying...

Have I become such a person... That is afraid and running. I have always been running, but I never realized. Now... I see... I'm running... Running away from responsibility, I want this to be my only world, but... I feel like seeing the world that is out there.

I've become so weak... So afraid...

I wonder what will I do next when I step out into the real world that is full of corruption?

Erase.

MemeMeRachel_0257

Pom Poko~

What...?

I don't know. The subs came out 2 secs later and some just sorta skipped... But, I get the whole story, I just don't get the names... Uhh... What what what forest??? And What's Pom Poko? Their clan? Or something?

Who knew... Male raccoons can stretch their private part, and use it as a weapon, and parachutes... Wont that hurt...???

Seen Wipe-Out???

Big balls can't even compare to their big balls~

Tanuki~

Tanuki~

Come out and let's play together~

One big happy family^^

I wish I can join in...

They use to be so happy... UNTIL... People start developing.

CHOP

CHOP

CHOP

BUILD

BUILD

BUILD

It's all people ever do. Yeah... Gonta was right... They should have killed us. And I wondered why raccoons and foxes steal food... Or eat from the trash... They have nothing left because of THIS.

The most dulan part... To me... Is when the Wonderland company president said that the... uhh... Demon Festival was their doing and all that... See his ugly face also beh song... Forgot to screenshot... One of the tanuki elder died because of Operation Poltergeist and that *you know what I'm going to say* took credit for everything... Served him right when they robbed him. They should have killed him too.

Preparations~

Ehh... Totoro was there???!

Or was this edited...? 

I still can't get Country Road outta my head, and I feel like listening to it every time when I'm spacing out. Listening to it now =D The Japanese version from Whispers of the Heart ♥

Haha... Uwwww~

Started my math tuition at my granpa's... Suddenly... I feel hope again... That I'll get an A for it next year and make everybody go 'WTF?!'... Which I seriously doubt that they will...

At least humans are not so bad... At least there's a park for them, and they seemed happy too... I feel like being a raccoon... A one that can transform... Once you think about it... Tanuki and I have similar personalities, I'm half way there... If it's about the size. Tanuki are BAD at concentrating, and they always think about food, and they're very fun and happy, and very cute~

 Awww.... Isn't it cute...

Foxes are cute too... Too bad that they're cunning... Are they really? You know... I've never been robbed by a fox... So... What's the story??

It doesn't look cunning to me... Well... Maybe a little... But still...It's cute^^

I wish that in real life... Animals would stand up and oppose for once... I'd rather be eaten by a wolf, than be slaughtered by some dude who robs people, then kills them. 

No place's safe. Well... not even your  house. People get so desperate that they break and enter your house. What happened to the police???  Don't know... *COUGH*drinking kopi-o*COUGH*

Time to end this post.

Do not underestimate raccoons. They have clan wars, and big balls. 

Uhh... I thought that Mario looked good in this raccoon outfit...

  

Moneyless

I wonder... Can I get a  part time job at McDonald's??? What's the pay... Higher than most places? I have many reasons why I need money... But of course, most of you would think that my reasons are pathetic. I don't disagree. Really... The only reason money is for... Is to spend.

Yes. I'm gonna buy pointless things. Remember how I said that I LOVE collecting things... Well... And that those figurines are SO expensive that they make you faint but they are irresistibly cute? Yeah... I want a Nendoroid!

It's a cute small figurine. But scarily expensive that you would think of robbing instead of buying~

Sebas-chan! Daisukiiii~♥

You wanna know how much he costs?

RM148 T^T

Ciel.

Same price as Sebastian.

Goddammit.

Huufff. It would be great if I could own them.

I know... I know... The quality is as same as the price... So... It's no use complaining... But still... I can't help it... You know how I am... 

They come in sets... I think... Not really sure though, if  I have the chance, I'll go to the XL-Shop in Mid Valley and take a look. I think dad bought us that 1000 pieces glow in the dark jigsaw puzzle there... Shoot... I don't think I'm going anytime soon... Maybe I'll ask someone to check it out for me... 

Collectibles...

Ehh?

Fate/Hollow Ataraxia English patch completed?! YEAH! But... The release date is still unknown... I hope it will be available for download... Can't wait, Can't wait~ ♥

I still have a long, long way to go... Before I can start collecting +_+

I wonder... Being an otaku isn't cheap... So... And how do they even COLLECT everything??? I thought most otakus are... umm... Stupid... Like me... ??? Do they live with their parents get a part time job and spend their pay checks on anime/manga/figurines???

I would hate it if I'm 40 and collecting...

So... Umm... If I'm old enough to work, I'll start collecting till I'm... uhh... Not too old... How bout... 29? I'll stop when I'm thirty =D

In that case... Better marry a rich dude... And when I'm done collecting... I guess we can divorce if he has an affair. Rich people are SO unreliable. Especially rich GUYS. Either that or I'm gonna have to work as some CEO of some company by 20. Which is impossible. 

Nah... A teacher is enough right... But... Seriously...? A teacher... Hmm... I think I'm gonna go teach Chinese in US or something... Well... If I'm not good... I can always teach 8 year olds... Maybe teach English in Japan... Ahahahaha... That works +_+ I'm sure my month's salary will be more than 3,000 yen...

I'm getting carried away...

I always do that...

Hatsune Miku...

Downlaoding Hatsune Miku Project Diva for PSP~♥

Hope SOMEBODY doesn't delete it. Seriously. He even HID my phone files and now I can't view them without the fucking code he set. Goddamn the HideMe app. Shhesh... Why would JAVA even create it? To hide what? Pictures of your girlfriends from your wife??? Uff...

I need to sleep... I'm gonna be waking up in another 4 hours or so...

I'm so unhealthy. 

All my music sheets... LOST... Dammit. Who would wanna steal my file? Are they idiots or something? Why would they even want it? Yeesh... I'm positively sure this time... That... My dogs didn't eat it. They ate my other file =_=

Look at the time... If I don't sleep now... I'm gonna end up being a panda... I wouldn't mind being reincarnated as a panda though... I would be cute, soft and fluffy, and nobody would say that I'm fat ^^

レイチェル＿０３５６

                                                      

2.30 Post

Seriously... I forgot... AGAIN... Dammit, this has to stop happening!

Watched Only Yesterday... Damn... It sucked... Of all things... Why period? It was VERY realistic though... I guess I don't like reality that much... It's boring. I like magic =)

Karigurashi no Arrietty  was released in July... But funny I couldn't find the download online OR to watch it online... Hmm... Buy it? It's NOT by Miyazaki though... Someone's gotta take his place ya' know?

ARGH!

Fuck the internet connection. Streamyx is gonna die soon... Hope the company falls too... See, this is what happens when you put those slacking pig brains in charge! Uff... Can't go ONE paragraph without it freezing! I wonder if it's just  me... 

* SHRUGS*

Yeah, bought Death Note. I was thinking of buying Full Metal Alchemist too, but... Damn... I had no money left... Money is important ya' know... Especially when you're so young and your mom doesn't like you watching anime cause she says that it's crap and it's bad for ya' and it'll ruin ya' head! 

Put it in a simple way. My mom hates me watching anime.

Why buy when it's free online???

Well... I think I'mma do something legal for ONCE. Although... I'm pretty sure fansubs are legal... Hmm... 

I like collecting things. So... I buy some anime once in a while. If I have Kuroshitsuji... It would be GREAT... But too bad... I already watched it... Unless... Somebody gave it to me as a present ^^ No one would waste so much money on me... Now would they? Sad.

Let me just wonder in my own world for a bit~

Full Metal Alchemist~

Full Metal Alchemist BROTHERHOOD... Damn it costs 99.90 T^T

Hellsign 

Darker Than Black

D Gray Man

Reborn!

Angel Beats

...

Waaaaaaa~

When I get a job... I'll buy them... I feel like collecting Kuroshitsuji for some reason... And Kaichou wa Maid-sama... 

Hey... Anyone know where I can get a job??? I need money. I'm broke. I can't stand being broke. It scares me and it makes me cry. No, seriously, it does... 

I'll watch Hellsign online... Saves me 39.90. 

Expensive...

Selfishly... I would want her to get Kuroshitsuji for my Christmas present even if I already watched it =) Not telling who though, if you people knew... Then you'd know how selfish I am~

Actually... I wouldn't mind Full Metal Alchemist either...

Ah... Find... I'm not getting a Christmas present like that.

My sister already gave me my Christmas present... 

I just write for fun, I'm bored. 

Hope it wont rain tomorrow... I'm gonna go roll on the sand~ Don't stop me xD

It's good to dream big. When I get a job, I will go get myself some anime. And if I have some leftover cash, I'll stop by AnimeTech and see if I want anything... Maybe I'll just go get myself a freaking iPod already...

Anyway...

I'd buy anime, cause, I know... I'll own a Nano sooner or later... 

I didn't make sense...

Bah...

I NEVER make sense at all...

Dammit...

Let's just say good-night and go to bed.

MemeMeRachel_0230