Conversations

For hours, her heart has been aching, tightening her chest. Why did she have to stumble across that picture? If only her hands had listened to her, she wouldn't be crying while singing When I Was Your Man. It was a picture of him and a girl he had a crush on a few months ago.

Her hands were itchy as usual, typing his name in her friend's list, clicking on his profile. What is he up to these days, she wondered. Time passes ever so quickly. It has been a month since he cut the bond between them. Still, her heart aches, her tears fall.

The green dot appears beside his profile picture, letting her know that he's online. That bright green dot caught her attention the moment it flashed-- who wouldn't notice such a eye-catching colour? She continues to scroll down her newsfeed, hoping the green dot would disappear.

But it didn't.

Minutes passed, it was still there.

She told herself that she must not approach him. The urge to talk to him was strong because she was hurting inside. Though she knows that he is the root of all her pain, it is also clear to her that nobody can fill the hole in her heart except for him. There is a Chinese proverb that goes 心病终须心药治，解铃还是系铃人(the problems of the heart in the end, needs to be healed with medicine for the heart, the person to untie the bell need be the person who tied it)

For that seven minutes of heaven, she's willing to hurt for seven days yet again.

[Hey, how are you?]

[Good... How are you?]

[Why do you ask...]

[You're jealous about something... Your status update...]

[Oh, it's nothing...]

[Is it... You think that I have something going on with her?]

[...]

[You rarely tell me what you think these days... I don't deserve to know anyway...]

[... Are you busy?]

[No. But I'm going to bed soon]

[!?]

[That's early]

[...Do you have someone else...?]

[No! No!]

[Oh really... I wouldn't know since we're so far apart!]
10PM

***

This is the reality on the guy's side.

He looked at the time on his laptop, 10pm. Time to ring his girlfriend! Looking at the conversation he's having with his ex sends a tinge of guilt deep down his heart, where the memories of their days together are locked away. He's lying to her now.

"Hey... Did you wait for my call?"

"Mm... You're on time..."

***

A few minutes have passed and she's still waiting for his reply.

[Having a hard time coming up with excuses huh?]

[If you consider an exam as an excuse for going to bed early...]

[Oh, I didn't know...]

[You don't bother asking, so I don't tell... You never ask much, even back then...]

[Yeah. I suppose. But when I do, I don't get answers.]

[Not the answers you want to hear anyway...]

[...]

[I guess this is goodnight then...]

[... Goodnight...]

She wanted to tell him how much she missed him. That was all she wanted to say to him when she first clicked on his profile. She knew she couldn't tell him that, not anymore... He won't accept it, and it'll just end up making things awkward between the both of them.

I miss you...

In her head, possibilities about what's going on his side played. Ten o'clock. Such a great time to leave. Back then, he would call her at this hour and talk to her, make her smile, make her feel loved. For all she knows, he could be on the phone with someone else, having phone-sex with his new partner.

Shaking her head, she smiled to herself, reassured herself with a lie she wants to believe in, something he said to her when he left: I just don't want to be in a relationship right now, I'm in love with my work.

She clicked on his profile picture so she could see his face clearly. So long since she last saw him... Over a year; probably. She wonders when he'll return because she really misses him lots. She yearns for his touch, and the smile she has grown fond of.

A smile slowly formed on her sad face.

***

"Kisses?"

"Sure, wherever you want to, hon. Hehe..."

"Such a cheeky girl I have here!"

***

It will all be okay, she tells herself.