Excitement Turned Depressed

When I first heard the news that we were invited to Music of Harry Potter presented by MPO, my heart raced and every thought of the coming exam vanished from my head. I thought of you, of course. I remember you told me that you'd be watching it... I just forgot when.

For the last 30 minutes, I was excited. I saw the light shine through the thick clouds that have shrouded my world ever since you went away and  I ran towards it, hoping that I'd make it to tomorrow where I could see a new-born butterfly crawling out of it's cocoon. I thought I would be able to break the spell of darkness that has been cast upon my world... I was wrong.

I thought that the universe was on my side for once. I thought that the stars have arranged yet another meeting for us, letting me see you one last time before I move on... Didn't I challenged myself though? That I'd behave for the next 365 days? After all, patience is not about how long one can wait, but how well one behaves while waiting. I have no problem waiting, I just don't behave well when my goal is within my grasp but I can't claim it yet.

I ran upstairs so I could contact you. I wanted to ask you out on a date. That's all I wanted to do when I texted you.

Like before, you were everything I could think of when I get the chance to go to the big city. Shopping malls, dirty sidewalks, suffocating city air and the sweaty crowd, I didn't mind because you were there to guide me through the concrete jungle. Each turn, through narrow sidewalks and rusted stairs, you held my hand.

On the 11th I would go, on the 12th is your show... Alas, fate has decided that we should forever be apart. We were never meant to be together, not then, not now, not ever... You have always viewed me as someone who is not your equal. What more can be said?

During the fifteen minutes that took to come home, I couldn't stop thinking about how happy I'd be. The thought that followed was whether or not you'd be happy, so I stopped smiling and thought about how you burned everything we had to the ground with just three words...

Everything in this world is so fragile... or rather, even the things that look the strongest get torn away by harshness. Here's another haiku I thought of on the verge of tears:

Like a tsunami,

you washed away all I had,

swiftly, suddenly.