Rachel

How does it feel to be someone's favourite? I've never been anyone's angel. Not then, certainly not now and never will be. Even when I had a boyfriend, I wasn't his favourite.

Sometimes, it makes me wonder why my parents have four children. It's so clear to me that all they ever wanted was one-- my brother. Everyone loves
Dennis the menace; the irony! Dennis is always right. Rachel is always wrong. You know, I gave up trying to explain my actions a long time ago to everyone because they don't care, and wouldn't understand.

You won't see my family get excited about Rachel; nope, not even once. You'll never see them organise a birthday dinner for Rachel. No. When Dennis comes home with a girlfriend? Yes, let's have dinner at a seafood restaurant.

It may seem like I'm jealous of my brother, but trust me, I'm not.

This lack of attention is what shaped me to become who I am today. The days of being in the shadows, the emptiness, they were my guidelines to the base of my principles. Why else would you think that I'm independent, cold and often appear uncaring? It's also how I developed this passion for writing. Who else was going to listen to my problems besides myself?

I'm thankful for being ignored. I molded my own personality, developed my own perspectives and my own ideals. They call me weird, but why should I care? It's not up to them what I want to become and how I want to live.

You'd hear them say Rachel is a good girl, independent and capable; most promising one out of four children. I'd smile at that, but it doesn't bring me to cloud nine because I already know that fact. The sad part is that I don't feel the attachment of being someone's daughter, someone's granddaughter or someone's niece. Dennis is the golden boy after all.

I don't feel love. Only responsibility.

Mum and dad, when I'm done studying and settle down with a career, you can look for me when in need, but I will never ever beg for your help, even if I'm on the brink of dying. I will try to repay you every single cent you've spent on me since the day I was born. Nothing more needs to be said.

Cold. Blunt. Shy. Quiet. Easily annoyed. Soft. Honest. That's all I am.