Sunday 26 May 2013

Cynical Little Post!

It's so easy to tell someone that you'll be there for them, isn't it? "You can count on me, I promise!" then after a while, you'd lose heart; the kindness you once felt have slowly dissipated. Rather sad world we live in, don't you think?

Everyone would tell you they'd be by your side when you're in need. They feel obliged to say so because they want to think that they are in fact good people. Who wouldn't want to be considered kind and caring? Sometimes, we think we mean well but in truth, it's actually that atrocious pride of ours doing the talking. It's in our God damned nature. We're so distorted, rotten to the core, that admist knowing how grotesque we all are, we'd still want to hang on to that rotting thread of hope that's connected to our decaying pool of foul dignity.

Oh my God... I'm so cynical today!

While you're busy acting like a saint, the fool you're pretending to help is truly grateful. He'd be thinking that you're the best thing that ever happened to him while you think of ways to quietly sneak away. No big deal, right? Vanishing without a trace.

Wrong.

People are forever in debt of one's kindness, be it something you did out of pure love or so you could keep up your appearance. The fool would be searching for you, hoping he could thank you for what you've done because he thought you really did have a heart of gold.

I'm actually really sleepy right now. My eyes hurt because of Rei's small screen! She's just half the size of my hand!

Anyway, the reason why I'm writing this post today is because I'm both the saint and the fool. My selfishness frustrates me a lot.

I just want to know why people can't just come out with the truth? Instead of blaming technology for their absence, why can't they just shoot the words "I don't want to talk anymore" right at you? It saves time, and it certainly makes both parties less miserable.

I stand by my if-you-have-nothing-good-to-say-then-shut-up principle. Which is why when people gloat and call themselves far from what I think them to be, I just type a smiley in reply. A jaunty tongue hides everything. Sir Daniel, in case you thought I was talking about you, no, you're awesome! Honest, I swear.

A little assumption goes a long way. As a woman, it is in my nature to assume the fuck out of everything. I'm upset because I thought too much, thus creating a cynical little post on bloggie today.

Ah, just when I thought I could schlep on a Sunday, band leader texted me. Have to go to school on my only free day of the week to get my uniform! Funeral on Monday. Ah, I should stop wearing earrings. Whenever I put those cursed things on, band leader is sure to inform me of a funeral!

I've been using lots of ahs lately. Japanese influence; probably.

Goodnight, love.

Oh, before I forget! May 26. Exactly five months before the day I was born(October 26), was the day my nemesis came to this world. I shall write a haiku for him before I go to bed.

               Happy birthday, Quah
          Still so short, ugly and dark
               Please become fairer

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