Unkempt

Seeing girls in dresses, coats, stockings, fancy shoes with handbags hanging from their shoulders makes me realise that I don't know how be pretty. Why does someone need to wear so many layers of clothing, I wonder. Then, my eyes would shift down to look at my own body, the t-shirt I'm wearing, shorts and yellow flip-flops. I'd look up again, this time noticing the layer of powder that doesn't match their skin-tone, the too-pink blushes on their cheeks and poorly applied fake-lashes. There's nothing on my face either, not even the moisturizer that is supposedly good for my skin.

I continue to walk along the pathway of the seemingly crowded shopping mall, my worn Hush Puppies smacking against the tiles with each clumsy step. 

I own dresses. A good deal of them. They're comfortable, and I would wear them whenever I get the chance to so I'd feel like a pretty girl. Still, they don't look as good on me because I haven't the slightest idea of how to compliment them. I'd put on a dress, but that's it, nothing more; no coat, no statement necklace. The same dress would look a thousand times better on another girl... 

I'm bad at this-- being pretty, catching the hearts of everyone that pass me by. Don't talk about strangers, I can't even get the attention of people I've known for years! It's not a bad thing, considering the fact that I'm someone who likes being in the shadows. 

Fancy shoes, huh? I own two pairs of flip-flops, two pairs of sandals, some three pairs of sneakers, a pair of running shoes and a few girly shoes which I don't even know what they're called. Anyone with a foot fetish would immediately get turned off by how I decorate my feet, not to mention these legs of mine aren't the smoothest and are pretty badly scarred. 

What do you get when you pair up a plain black dress with iPANEMA sandals? Rachel Cheong Yun Xuan.

Indeed, I know nothing about style and what the latest fashion is, or what colour is in this season and which design is passe. All I know is that flip-flops are my favourite-- yellow flip-flops, to be exact.

A pin with a glittering blue star design, sticking out of what seems like a bird's nest instead of a person's hair. The hair clipped to the side like a curtain reveals a round face and seemingly tired eyes that's obvious despite having large glasses masking them. The first impression I'd give people is that I'm slovenly, poor and have no life. Shuffling across the floor of the shopping mall in a university t-shirt suggests otherwise. 

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I'm really tired. I went out in my pajamas today, from the morning till the Sun set under the horizon. In fact, I've been wearing the same t-shirt for more than 24-hours... I slept in it last night, went for band in it this morning, went shopping at Aeon wearing the same old thing, then went back to school for band practice again in the very same t-shirt. You'd wonder how the hell a girl could be this lazy... I surprise even myself sometimes! I'm still wearing the t-shirt, by the way.

Nobody's here to make my day better, and the fatigue isn't helping. I'd want to talk... or something... Blah... I don't even know what I wrote... I don't know anything at the moment! I can barely keep my eyes open, yet I managed to write a blogpost... Ughh... This has got to stop...

Goodnight.