Questioning life decisions is only possible when one has a properly functioning rationality. If, in the first place, the decision was made without prior thinking, then is it a valid decision that should be scrutinised? What then, of the people who have no idea what they are doing? Should they question their own decisions when they themselves haven't the slightest hint of the degree of their own irresponsibility? Without an aim, one wanders on mindlessly, numbed; to the left or to the right-- what does it matter?
Sometimes, I cannot even feel my own brain through the thickness of my skull. It is so thick that I can only feel its weight that forces me to hang my head. I see with my eyes, hear with my ears, and somehow manage to speak with only my speech organs and not the brain. How now am I supposed to take the Japanese oral exam? On top of being brainless, I have to translate grammar structures and conjugate verb endings-- with what exactly? That's right, nothing. I'm so fucked.
I cannot decide whether I am highly irresponsible or extremely stupid. Perhaps I am both. But of course, my stupidity pales in comparsion to my irresponsibility. Am I mad at myself? Hardly. I am writing with half-hanging eyelids and a brain that is not present.
Where has my brain gone?
I'd like to know too.
Taking care of my body should be my main priority these days, instead of cultivating culture to very little yield due to a half-eaten brain.
If by tomorrow night I do not post something new, call the police. My irresponsibilty will have lead me to the death I have been seeking.
In all seriousness, I am serious.
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