The Perfect Boyfriend?

I stole this from somewhere:
-Fashion Style

I couldn't help but disagree with this girl, and since I left my lovely journal in school, I'll be writing about it here!

I don't want a boyfriend who goes around shouting "I LOVE YOU" at me, that would just seem like he's some sort of obsessed pervert. In fact, if possible I don't want anyone to know that I have a boyfriend! It feels weird even though nobody really gives a damn. Well, I wouldn't walk outside when it's 60 degrees! But if I'm really bored and have the mood to go walking, I wouldn't mind a dog and a hand =)

I guess there's not much to write about, since I will never know how dating in school feels like. But I must say, I have quite the perfect boyfriend... Which makes him kinda gay, because gays are all perfect.

I definitely don't think that a guy who wakes me up on weekends is perfect. Dude, I'd be happier and love you more if you just leave me the hell alone and let me snooze to my heart's content on Saturdays and Sundays!

Arguing with my friends that he loves me more... HAHAHA that sounds... I don't know how it sounds because I'm definitely not keen on the idea. Imagine how he'd look like arguing with my friends... OH NO... No, no... Wrong image... Wrong image...

When I'm sick, bring me porridge, stay by my side, let me sleep and after I grow unconscious, do whatever you want. Forget about chick flicks! I want horror movies! Comedies work fine too... Let me see... When I fall sick, I usually go about doing the stuff I want to at home... Except for the fact that I don't shower when I'm ill =-= Ehehe...

Why do I have a feeling that the person who wrote the text in the picture has never had a boyfriend before? Why does she give me the impression that she's around my age? Why does she sound like the type of unreasonable female that only a brain-dead guy can satisfy? Or maybe she's just too normal, and 100% female... Unlike someone here...

Ahaha...

What did I just write? Was all of the above really necessary? Oh seriously... I just want to strangle myself sometimes!

If I could make a few adjustments to my guy, I'd tweak his biological clock, cure his phobia of gory/horror movies... Wait... I think that's about it =3

AHAHAHAHA! So I really have nothing else I want to change?! That's a surprise! But I guess his sissy personality is what makes him... HIM... I'm smiling like a retard right now. HAHAHA. Although I already have such a nice guy by my side, she still haunts me.

I haven't talked to her in almost two years now.

I haven't seen her for quite a while now.

But it's funny how I always end up with her in my mind, wondering how she is, and how is her love life. I don't know why I even think about her though, it's not like I know her that well or anything... I just... We just    crossed paths for a while...

AH, why am I even talking about it right now? I should be sleeping... But I'm afraid to turn out the lights... Even more afraid to go to the bathroom... IT... IT will come for me from the sewers! AHHHHHHHH! CLOWNS! BALLOONS! PENNYWISE! AHHHHHHHHHH! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Stephen King, why are you such a genius?