I Don't Even Know What I Wrote Down There...

HISASHIBURI~

I'm getting all anime-ish again lately, and I've gotten so obsessed with Ao no Exorcist that I bought blue contact lenses. Nyehehehe, now, if only I could get blue flames glowing around me, then I'd look just like Rin!

Twins are hot, especially when one is evil. I don't know how to explain it, but an evil twin just excites me! It's like... I WANT AN EVIL TWIN TO TORTURE ME...? Wait... WHAT!? I can't believe that I even thought of that... I think it's the other way round: I want to be the evil twin who tortures my twin's date because I'm jealous. Hmph!

Ah, a horror movie with twins in it, truly a mind-fuck.

Lovely Bloggie, how are you doing? I've almost stained the last page of my journal, so now I'm seeking you for company. Tapping is always better than scribbling, I feel happy when I hear keyboard-san sing in joy when my fingers touch it... I FEEL LIKE A MUSICIAN =x

I wanna write a serious-alternative post, but I just don't feel it. Somehow, there's SO SO SO much I wanna get out, but I feel like nobody is willing to listen... Then what are you for, you ask? Simply to make me feel better, I guess... Since you-know-who is a busy boy...

Day four without him, feels so dull, my days... I thought that I could survive, and keep my habits without anyone subtly keeping me under control, but I guess I was wrong. It's only the fourth day, and my old habits have returned... I have become a creature of the night once more... The creature that stays in her room, with nothing but her laptop... THE FOREVER ALONE RACHEL...

Hontoni... When you ask me what I'm up to, my reply would either be anime, or gaming, nothing else. And if I don't reply, it means that I'm either asleep, or you're just not worth my time. I know, I know, this image I'm giving you is like I live in the dark, wear round spectacles, dress in dark clothing and have long messy hair... But trust me, I'm not THAT much of a loner. I don't like black either.

 Download speed: 3kb/s... DAMN YOU!

My fingers are getting numb, and they are very accustomed to keyboard-san already. Up, down, right, left, enter, space, escape... I know you all too well... Sigh... I guess this is what RPGs do to a person. All those quests... Not finishing them just makes me feel itchy all over! I know, I know, I'm weird! But what can I say...  I love RPGs... Because they make me feel good about myself... Like I'm not useless... I save the day in the game, but in reality, I'm just wasting my day in bed, neglecting the chores that I actually have to do in real life. It's like a drug sometimes... Ten minutes of heaven, probably...

I seek comfort in the world of fantasy when reality doesn't hold on to me. I'm a corpse, half of me is in reality, but the other half isn't: If reality doesn't pull strong enough, then I'd just fall into the rabbit hole... But of course, I AM NOT THAT USELESS! WHAT AM I? ALICE!? AS IF! But... It would be nice though, if I were Rachel in Wonderland. HAHAHA it'll be another twisted story...

I like to reflect the ugly sides of everything, I notice the negativity of everything but never the positive. Give me something and I'll tell you how bad it is right away. I always hold back though, when I give my comments... Because... Well... As twisted as I am, I actually don't like making people feel bad... with terms and conditions applied: People I dislike are obviously excluded, which means just about everyone =)

Smiling at the end of that, I am a nut-job, aren't I? Now, I wonder, what kind of people will I be able to meet when I become a psychologist? I like sick people, they make me feel challenged... Ehehe...  I'll go fish in the field with my patients! YAY!

I think my writing is getting from bad to worse. I should just abandon this whole hobby and aim for a boring but stable job. But... MEH, I CAN'T SIT STILL! Even when someone is massaging me, though it feels damn good, NOT MOVING MAKES IT FEEL NOT GOOD... Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle~!

Blue contacts, blue contacts~ Ao no contacts~ Ao no contacts~ NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA~


Thank you for wasting your time~

Please come again~

Take care~

Another Day, Another Movie

It is now three in the morning, and I have arrived in a different home.

Anonymous. My whole life, no movie has ever made me give my undivided attention to it, except for this one.

So, who is the real William Shakespeare? Was he even a real person? His found manuscripts, none of them were written by his own hands. Did he really exist? The truth is the greatest tragedy of all…

… I NEED AN INTERNET CONNECTION SO BADLY!!!

I still don’t understand why poets were treated so badly in the olden days. It’s like… Artists were all so miserable back in the days. Look at those ancient Chinese poets; they weren’t exactly treated very nicely by the politics then either. Let’s face it, until today, politics still suck.

Tell me, I will never be a writer that influences people with my words, will I?

SO SAD!

Is expressing oneself through words that wrong and disgraceful? I can only wonder. Why, were poets treated as failures? I will never understand how fancy Elizabethans think.

 I dream of being with a poet, I love verses so much~ Hehe… Seductive verses… Ooh… Oh… Oh… Oh… This is getting somewhere… CENSORED. I’m stuck with a musician for now. Not too bad. At least he has a voice that I love?

I have Shakespeare’s collection at home, and I haven’t even finished reading a single play. Remember that thick green book I used to read after band practices? The one that looked like a God damned dictionary? Yeah… Printed in freakishly small words, smaller than the words in your average dictionary, is the works of the great William Shakespeare, which I will read when I am serious about actually understanding it.

I’m still thinking about the movie. I don’t know what to say. It was… Truly, the greatest tragedy of all… Look on the bright side, at least the sonnets and plays weren’t destroyed and were able to live until today.

So… You fucked your own mother…? OUCH!

Imagine this: Your father died. The castle took you in. You are an Earl. You are forced to marry someone you do not love. After marrying the girl you were forced to marry, your true love finally professes, and you both end up making love and having a baby. Your true love isn’t just someone, but the queen. Your lovely queen is sent away because nobody must know of the baby. But of course, you don’t know that the queen is conceived. So you just thought that she didn’t love you, and left you. You have an affair with another woman, who tells you that the queen still loves you and bears your child… Half a century later, you find out that your REAL mother is actually your lovely queen. Yes, the horror… You made your biological mother pregnant. And your son is still as charming as ever.

The drama in the movie… You wouldn’t even believe it!

If I were to marry someone I don’t love, I’d run away before I walk down the aisle. Imagining the honeymoon is a nightmare I tell you! NIGHTMARE! And it’s all happening inside my head right now. Do you guys mind a semi-perverted story? >_<

I’d better not. My mum will sue me.

Since I’m on my laptop… Hehehe… I’ll go write my perverted nightmare~ Yuhooo~

I’m so perverted that it scares me!

Let's Celebrate! with a lousy movie

Hello, my dears! I’m back, for the first time in… Hey… How long has it been since my last blog post? Anyway, I’m writing this post using Microsoft Word in the middle of the night, since I have no internet connection and have just finished a horrible anime. I just CANNOT wait to write about how much it SUCKS. Hmph!

Just so you know I’m on holiday. And no, I’m not on a deserted island in the middle of the Caribbean with no Wi-Fi doing perverted stuff to you-know-who. 

Alright, enough with the pointless chit-chat. I don’t wanna err AGAIN. I go astray WAY too often when I’m writing. So, now, I am seriously gonna start bitching about how bad the movie was.

Oh,oh,oh!

The movie isn’t something from the year 2012 though. In fact, it’s an anime from 2006… Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve become cut off from the world ever since Lappy got screwed last year. 

Studio Ghibli. Why does everyone have such high expectations from them!? Of course, I’m also one of those people who really look forward to touching works by the studio. Since I’m writing about a 2006 one, I’m sure you all have seen it already: Tales From Earthsea. Skip this post if you want. We all know that Rachel Cheong isn’t exactly the best movie-watcher in town.

OK! So… Where do I begin? Hmm… It sucks. The movie sucks.

I don’t usually say that something sucks, even if it sucks… But THAT was just TOO horrible.

The beginning wasn’t epic, the ending didn’t make me cry, the climax… Was there even one…? The plot was something like ALL my blog posts, in short, it was messy.

Shows with dragons are supposed to be epic right? But this one wasn’t. The hell! I don’t even know what the dragons were for! They just made a… one minute appearance. How dull. And the dragons weren’t even drawn in a pretty way… They reminded me of skinny fish heads and human bones.

Another minor detail that made me lose the mood to watch it was how the characters were drawn… A seventeen-year-old prince looked like a God damned five-year-old! And by the time the movie ACTUALLY starts, he should be about at least twenty already! But… Oh well… He still looked 15. Maybe even younger.

The ending was crap. The dragon flew prince charming to something like a faraway land, but within minutes… The mage, the lady AND THE HORSE already climbed the hills, walked through the plains and stood in front of them. DID THEY EVEN THINK THE ENDING THROUGH!? GOD!

I don’t know if it’s me, or it really is that way, but,  Tales From Earthsea was worse than a RPG; it doesn’t have much quests for you, and it isn’t challenging AT ALL. Perhaps I have been too busy with Aveyond II lately. Can anyone tell me how do I find that bloody squirrel commando?

The villain from Earthsea reminds me of Orochimaru from Naruto(sorry if I got the name wrong, not a big fan of Naruto). Their goals are similar too! That is to seek eternal life. Moreover, they dress in women’s clothing, look gay, have freakishly fair complexion, and have snaky voices. Not to mention long hair as well. Oh, and another thing that they both have in common is that they actually succeeded in finding the secret to eternal life!

Uh-oh… Looks like SOMEBODY has been slacking off A LOT.

This is the only movie from Ghibli that didn’t make me waste my tissues, apart from Only Yesterday which I literally skipped through, because of the plotlessness.  Miyazaki has to teach Miyazaki junior some stuff! Or else… Oh, I don’t even want to think about how horrible things will become!

I’ll let you in on a secret… The reason why I’m even dating who I’m dating now is because of Studio Ghibli! Hehehe… 耳をすませば~

Did you guys miss me? Leave a comment to show that you guys care. PLEASE~?

I’m going to close this blog soon, because… I blog about THINGS THAT NO ONE REALLY EVER CARES ABOUT. 

I am heartbroken, truly, I AM. 

I Am... A Disappointment.

The best way for me to sleep, is to cry.

I slept at 10 yesterday, my earliest record so far. And I woke up just now, at the time I usually drift off to La-La Land: 3.30am.

I wonder why I was so conscious. One bark, and my eyelids flew open. A part of me was scared, but the other part wanted to take a peek outside so very badly. I knew, it was time that 'thing' took its morning walk. Every morning, at exactly 3.30am without fail. 

But of course, I didn't. 

That's not why I'm here.

I'm here because... After I woke up, I never slept. I twist and turned in bed, kicking off the covers then wrapping myself back inside. I picked up Suzuki-san that was on the floor, weird how I don't realize that I had kicked it down the bed.

...

Again... I fail to write about what I'm really here for.

I can't write any more... I haven't wrote a piece, in nearly two months. I forgot how... To write.

For three hours, I lay there in bed. Nothing but the sound of my fan can be heard. I lay there touching myself, wanting to forget how he felt. The light from outside crept through the spaces between my window pane and faded curtains, casting a faint glow against the wooden cupboards that I hate very much.

Time passed by so quickly. I closed my eyes, but I never rested. "You disappoint me." those three words haunted me. 

I kept thinking about it. Because... Clearly, I am the one at fault. Making unreasonable requests, that I can't and won't even do myself. I don't even understand why I say, or want the things I say I want. No... That's not it. I don't want the things I say, because... Those are just meant to hurt. Those are... The selfish words of plainness that I blurt out because of how unhappy I am.

I burnt my tongue upon taking a sip of my freshly-brewed Jasmine tea. 

I tasted nothing but wax when I put the microwaved noodles inside my mouth.

I ate, but I didn't taste it.

As I washed the dishes, the words still rang beside my ears. "You disappoint me", again I felt like crying. But my tears wouldn't flow. They had dried up once again, leaving my eyes sore.

It has been four hours since I woke up. I'm going to leave soon...

When I come back, of when I feel like it... I will rant about my translating 'job' at Obsession Scans. 

...

I'm at a loss for words, because... It's all over between us. I am the problem. I wouldn't change. I thought I could ask anything of you, but I guess I was wrong. I will never understand a guy, because I think that their lives are boring and that they are too organised with their lives.

Or maybe it's just you.

 Because of you, I am a sexist.

Because of you, I want to be a lesbian.

Because of you...

I never want to fall in love ever again.  

 

 

wrote on my mobile birthday post

Write a blog entry for me will ya. It was only eight minutes. Sheesh why is she always right damn it!
***
I never knew that a call could make me so happy. It felt good hearing my friend's voice, it made me feel like I'm still missed... Like I still exist in the world.

Shirley sent me a birthday text yesterday, cause she messed up my birth date. But it's the thought that counts right? And... It is now 12.55am and she hasn't texted me back. Lol I guess Facebook made things free and easy for everyone. Damn it sometimes!

I miss blogging. I miss it a lot. I miss writing, been a while since I felt this happy.

The ironic thing is that it wasn't Zongxu who called me;it was SZN. And I was happy until I couldn't sleep. I haven't stretched my mouth so wide in such a long time. Hey, maybe my Subway sandwich can finally fit in my mouth! Ommm!!!

As for those who posted on my wall on Facebook, thanks too. But it certainly won't kill you if you texted me right?! Besides, I can't go on Facebook, it is boring! And I have to slap myself every single time I look at my Newsfeed.

Thank you, the day has just begun, and I'm going to LaLa Land after this.

Lonely birthday this year, my phone isn't vibrating that much. My mum and dad didn't wish me at midnight, but I hope they text me later. Or else... I'd be throwing murukus at them!!!! Be prepared mummy! And daddy!

Today is also Deepawali.

Happy Deepawali to everyone. And of course, happy birthday to me.

Zongxu fell asleep because I switched off my phone... It had only 3% of battery life left. I was hoping he'd call... But... He fell asleep a SECOND time when I was on the phone with my dear SZN... And the call only lasted for eight minutes, and thirty seconds.

Of course I can't blame him, he's tired. And of course I'm not too pleased. But hey, that boy has Malaysian studies and he sacrificed his butt just to go to collage. Yes, I have a boyfriend with no ass. At least he got balls? O_O

Josephine~ did you bake me macaroons? +_+ I'll be going to you... Soon... Again. Hahaha.

So yeah, since I'm already here, I'll go check Facebook.

I only have three friends in this world. One is a guy, two are girls. The other hundred are just... Human beings. Though I can't say that there's no others... But whatever, let's just leave it at three for now.

Xin Yi texted me after I said goodnight to SZN. Ah, such a beautiful world.

Time to reshape my life. Things can't go on like this. If things stay the same, then it's as if I have no life at all.

Call this holiday an escape from the people I know. Call this trip a time... Where I get to sort things out. Thought it has been very clear before who's who, it's even clearer now.

Don't say you miss me. I doubt that you'll talk to me anyway.

I'm blogging on my mini screen, Lappy still hasn't got its power supply yet. Even if mum was kind enough to replace Lappy's life force, I won't be home to see it light up anyway.

That bastard better hope that I'm in a good mood when I wake up... Or else...

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