Being a creep myself, explaining my current situation using another psycho's words make me feel a little less perverted. If I did not say it directly, then it can only be an indirect hint.
Fictional, or not? In between the non-fiction, I suppose. I'd like to argue that even fictional characters are real, as in they fully exist simply because they have been created. Just as fragile as their existence is our existence, for if one does not know us, then we do not exist in their world. That is why people go insane when Senpai never notices them. The thought of not existing in their world is unbearable, and very much cruel.
NOTICE ME, SENPAI!
It is a scream screamed in futile.
Of course, it is common for one to have a Bias they would die for and a fictional character they masturbate to-- we lonely souls are in constant alienation after all! But does being the core of a stranger's fantasies bring the weight of a certain shame? Do you blush when you realise every morning that somebody, or ten-thousand somebodies are daydreaming about spending the perfect day with you? Perhaps fast-paced Life does not allow such trifles to be mused. Only those who are idle enough to plan a future with a fictional being can think of these things.
It must be wonderful to be Senpai.
How does one obsess over one who doesn't exist? It all begins while dreaming of nothing. The tenacious nature of the desperation of those who are alone both inside and out will cause them to leech every passing victim who leaves a trail of faint rustling.
Reading Dostoyevsky is almost as unpleasant as living in reality. Now, there are even frustrations brought on by the fictional world!
There is nothing to blush over.
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