Let There Be Light~

Why is sensitivity only heightened when one is experiencing vivid moments brought to life by troubled thoughts? Certain words take on a new meaning, specific syntactic compositions that from day to day stayed unremarkable suddenly start to carry a weight so meaningful that one is unable to enunciate their new-found purpose. One's life can change as simply as that. To put it in the universal tongue of the internet: What has been seen, cannot be unseen.

But I have seen nothing in particular. In this day and age, barren trees ablaze in fire that does not burn can hardly be taken to be a miracle, only clever mechanics. I wish too that I could have as much belief in any one aspect of my life-- any at all.

My nails need to be cut.

Instead of a flood and drowning to our miserable deaths, can we burn in pain this time? Rain is not as threatening as fire, and drowning doesn't make one realise the true extent of one's sins. There's a reason why Hell is hot, right? It'd be Atlantis if Hell existed underwater. Perhaps fire just intimidates the animal in us.

If I had to kneel by my bed and pray every night, that is what I would pray for: to suffer in flames of my own demise. Somehow, I think that if I set myself on fire, I would be untouched as the embers would quiver before my anger that burns a thousand suns brighter.

But of course, in reality every little burn hurts. The heat of the metal frame puts me in my place and reminds me that my skin would bubble and I will most definitely cry. Weakling.

"If our final day has come, let's pretend to carry on.

And if the end has now begun

live on."