Too Cute

Stop it, bro, you're too cute for me.

Yesterday, it was a finger to your lips. Today, the first thing I see is you biting your lips. And again, your finger traces the line of your lower lip. Rarely do I feel the blood in my cheeks warm up enough to send me into a feverish daze-- not even when I read the most hardcore Yaoi, imagine that! Yet for some reason your unattractive face with all its awkward charms makes my stomach ache because even my intestines quiver at your cute ways. STOP PUTTING YOUR FINGERS NEAR YOUR MOUTH I'M DYING AHHHHHHHH

At first I linked your need to have something near your mouth as your desire to suck something manly, but unfortunately, I have confirmed your sexual attraction towards women. Is it unfortunate? Of course it is! You will never be my man anyway so I'd rather have Yaoi fantasies of you because where is the fun of imagining straight couples getting it on? If anything, imagining heterosexual sex is gut-wrenching for me.

Ah, let us talk about more pleasant things, like the information I have collected about you over the... how long have I been watching you? 1,2 weeks?

Name: too obvious
Age: x2
Birthday: May 1x
Intersted in: Women
Living in: Exx, Nx
Siblings: Younger brother
Temperament: Never Salty, Never Lucky

I'm sure I know much more, like who he would rather rub sunscreen on.

Technically, I'm not a stalker if all the information is revealed publicly by the person himself. I simply have excellent memory, as I've stated in yesterday's post.

When the Yogg hits just right and you bury your face in your hands, I just want to pat you and say that it's okay, I voted for Pavel this time.