Bundle of Thoughts

It's been more than a week since I came to Sydney. The first few days here, I didn't let him occupy my mind so much, but as the day passes, I found it harder and harder to leave him out of my mind although it should be the other way round. The photos from the 33rd Passing Out only made matters worse, reminding me of how cute he looks. Of course, the photos also burnt me, since I couldn't be with Zinc, Zongxu and a few of the bandies I consider as friends. I wished I was home, having fun with all of them. Somehow though, it's destined that I miss this year's Passing Out. Even if I was back in Sitiawan, I wouldn't be able to make it since my grandpa was lying in Ipoh Hospital, unconscious and weak.

Don't, don't let me go,

Don't let me hold on when you're not...

Don't, don't turn away,

What can I say so you won't?

Don't Let Me Go,

The Click Five

I miss Zinc. She's the only one I can talk to about my current problem. Although Johnson(Quah =-=) is my  brother/sister, I don't want to trouble him again with this pathetic topic. He's done enough, and I don't think he's quite happy helping me out though, since I know how annoying I can be. I don't usually share my problems with people because I'm afraid that they'd think me a burden. Yes, I'm self-conscious. The only person I really go to is xu, and he doesn't make me feel unwanted even though he sometimes hate me too~ Anyway, I can assure you guys that this will be the FIRST and LAST time I discuss my love affairs with my friends. I'm ashamed of myself for causing so much trouble *BOW*

At night, 

The town is quiet like the bottom of the ocean.

I continue down this road by myself,

Guided by a distant voice.

Ningyo Hime,

Rie Tanaka

Zongxu is away at church camp. I hate to break it to him now, but there exist something as 0.facebook.com. I guess that idiot has been drumming too damn much that he forgets the existence of some things that are sometimes useful. I'm slowly starting to miss my boyfriend, but to tell the truth, I'M MISSING MY PET EVEN MORE! 

Did I tell you guys that my Macadamia has acquired bed-climbing skills? Oh, nowhere is safe! My mum should be afraid, even more afraid! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Sigh... I miss my Macadamia a lot. I wonder how she's doing without me. Is she stressing out? Is she losing fur and quills due to depression? Has she forgotten about me? Is she eating right? Is she cold? Oh... It's another three weeks before I can see my fragile little girl! 

In Sydney, I go to parks and lie down, look at the sky and listen to music to help me think.When I'm feeling up for it, I'd just lie on my belly and write my time away. I like it a lot here, and I feel at home.

When this day is through,

 I hope that I will find that tomorrow will be just the same for you and me.

All I need will be mine if you are here. 

Top of The World,

The Carpenters

Ah, Jay Chou, always there when I need to feel emotional. Night Song from his album November's Chopin never fails to make me lie down and think about my lovelife, the tune gives a sort of dark and hopeless mood; makes me feel like a person who has lost every meaning to live. Suga Shikao's Kazanagi is also a beautifully heart-breaking song, tears would always want to flood my eyes whenever it's on.

There's also a band that I listen to ten times a day when I'm feeling really down, and they're The Click Five. These few days, the songs Don't Let Me Go and Good As Gold are helping me to think. The two songs, each to think about specific people: my hard-to-forget wanna-be Korean and xu. 

Thinking that you probably had the intention in the very beginning,

I guess I shouldn't be bothered then; 

I won't even try to find out.

 Whom should I despise? 

What should I suppress away?

You, leaving without even a hand wave... 

 Actually, now, my chest keeps tensing up and up,

and my tear drops keep falling without restraint. 

Sorrow and ocean waves are alike, 

because they both come back and back again.

Will it slowly leave some day,

Just like a deformed nailed being pulled off?

 Kazanagi,

Suga Shikao