Safe in Confinement

I see pets in cages and wonder if life is okay for them.

Then I stop, to think about myself. With the keys in my hand, the door is open to me any time, yet I choose never to walk so far as to come face to face with it. And so, I stay in this finite space which I'm sure experts would say is too narrow for the well-being of a human being, much like how a hamster's cage should at least measure 80CMx50CMx35CM for it to stay sane.

Ask me if it is comforting to stay isolated and I wouldn't give you a definite answer, because I don't know. Being inside the bubble that exists within my head is not enough anymore. I need to cut myself off, completely. Even hearing the escaped voices of my flatmates makes me want to cut my ears down. Seeing people squint under the Sun, friends sitting in the same circle reciting mindlessly the sounds that come out of the Part-timer's mouth, eating cold noodles at the same table while trying to make petty conversation that will not last-- how many of us are as lonely inside our hearts? I saw one of the faces carrying a plastic cup of instant noodles back to his room during lunch hour when everybody got busy assembling themselves into awkward pairings. Then after class on a Monday afternoon she said she'd be going to Mid Valley, alone, on a Tuesday where she doesn't have class. And me? I sent the lecturer an email saying I'm sick so I don't have to go outside, where even breathing hurts.

So I stay confined in my own space, in my own time, never even looking outside at the blue of the sky. I want to stay safe, in here.

The lifespan of a hamster is 2.5 years. I want to trade souls with Moonchild so that we both gain the freedom of the other.