Gray Sky

I haven't stepped outta my room today... It's cooling... It's gray outside... I wonder, what do people do on days like this one? Or... What do people do on Sunday? I don't really know... Since I don't really do anything on Sundays and the nothingness gives me headaches...

Wouldn't it be nice if it snowed...

It will rain soon. Clothes from yesterday scattered all over the place. I haven't threw them into the laundry basket yet... My jar of tea...Didn't really drink it... I was too tired yesterday. My bags... Papers... My books... All on the cold hard floor, stuffed animals surrounding me. It's nice to have soft things... When you have nothing else... No one else...

My phone is dead once again... I can live without one, since I don't get calls or texts. But, when I go out, it'll be hard for you to find me... I always go out with cash... So... As long as I have my two feet, I can go anywhere... Who needs a taxi?

I would love to try living alone once. The idea doesn't sound so bad... But of course... I'm still just a second grade middle schooler... Maybe next time... When I graduate from some university and get a job... Still a long way to go... I dream too much, I haven't even sat for PMR... Graduating from U is a long... Long way... But, It's good to dream.

I always like doing things on my own. It may seem weird to others but, why should I care?

Why is it weird? I don't get it...

People stare at you.

Is there something wrong with being alone? And doing things alone?

Sure, I go out with friends... Sometimes... It's not all that great... I prefer being alone. It makes me feel... I don't know... I can be at ease when I'm alone. And it's quiet. Even if it's in a crowded place.

I don't know how people get through their lives. I don't know how I'm going to make it next time. Life... Seems hard to get through.

You can't really count on anyone but yourself.

I'd do anything you ask me to. If I like you. If I don't... I wont even look at your miserable face.

Learning to be patient, and hide things well. It's a must. Stay calm at all times... When things are serious.

Emotionless.

Being angry at people is a waste of time ans energy. Why do so? Getting angry over another person which is worthless, it's something that all of us do. That's just how we are. I guess...

Feeling sorry for people who died. Another thing we tend to do. Why? Why are you sad over someone's death? It's their time to go anyway. Let them go in peace. If that person died because of that person's own fault, it serves him/her right. But... If he/she happens to take away other lives because of his/her fault... It's just unforgivable. So. Don't be sad. With anyone, it's the same.

Humans are the worst. You know? We are so pathetic... Desperately believing in our own dreams, even when everything has fallen apart. Still believing in that illusion, caught up in our own world of fantasy, causing people around us pain and trouble. Living in our own illusion, oblivious about reality, ignoring reality. Eventually, we go crazy.

Blinded by greed, lust, we are selfish. Why do you think people die?

Is it great that all of them found a way to make life better? After they die, they're no longer here, so why? Because they want ALL of us to enjoy what they've invented so that they themselves are remembered? Or is it the first step to ending civilization?

Without inventions. I wouldn't be here, you wont be reading this...

Probably... Earth wouldn't be falling apart.

Famous people... I doubt that they are all that... People today are... We are never better than people in those days. Why is that? Thanks to their improvement, we tend to slack off.

William Butler Yeats. You've heard of him. Yeah, he worships Baphomet. Easier way to put it, he was a Satanist. He cursed some other guy you know?

So. Really? They invented all of those themselves? Or rather... They had help? Who knows.

The sky is still gray. It would be nice... If the gray sky stays a bit longer. I would enjoy the coolness, instead of the Sun.

***

I have officially given up. You know? I wonder why I even try. From the beginning... My first try, I knew that it wouldn't work. But still, I believed that it will if I try harder, if I found out more... No matter what I try, it's always the same result, how many routes I've gone... Still... The same result... I don't know what to do anymore. Like any other pathetic human being, I give up...

My last words to you...

WHY THE HELL WONT YOU WORK?! Chaos;HEAd?! Your story was so damn good that I thought that I HAVE TO play this visual novel. But why... WHY?! Is it because of me and my lack of knowledge about computers or I'm just a hopeless case?! WHY THE HELL WONT YOU WORK?!

I'm sure... Everyone... Don't always think that everything has to be about him... You all got the idea that the above, above, ABOVE line was to him? Yeah... I get that a lot... But remember, even if I'm not much...

I still have a life.

Enjoy the cooling day when you can. Who knows, maybe after today, you'll never see it again...

MemeMe@Rae-chan

MememeRachel_1651

Me. Passing Time Post. Dark.

Ever watched Jigoku Shoujo? Or READ Jigoku Shoujo? No? Then I suggest you do. Well... I don't know if the writer has A LOT of enemies or that the writer just happens to have all kinds of unpleasant encounters with unpleasant people... Or maybe the writer just sees the ugly side of people.

I USED TO BE a people person... Or so I thought. But then... I don't know... I've never really liked people, they sorta repel me and treat me like the invisible kid. I thought that kids are hyperactive and all... Friendly?! But... You know... I hated this person and her sister when I was FIVE YEARS OLD... And you know what? I still don't like them... I don't know what this is called. I don't have anything against them... Now anyway. But when I was five... I HATED THEM. 

LOL

I am not going to talk about 'WHEN I WAS FIVE'~

Then... Let's see... Either my memories got problem... Or most of the people I know have memory issues. Whatever. I could care less. I just know one thing... I never really liked people. No matter how friendly I try to be... They just... Look at me like I'm some worthless little thing, roll their eyes and walk away. How stuck up can people get? I dress poorly, doesn't mean that I am poor, okay? Dude, I wear Nike!You probably don't see it because your nose is too high up! 

Nothing's change. 

I'm probably colder now, a bit emotionless and a loner. Not to mention an otaku. But, my thoughts about people are still the same. We're all liars. We get jealous, we get revengeful, we are greedy, we are lusty and not one person in this world, is considered pure. Once you are born, you are no longer pure. Touched by the hands of the impure, tainted by them...

I should stop reading occult books... But, like I've said before, I hate religion. So, I don't care what religion you are... Maybe except... *AHEM* babi *AHEM*... The rest is fine with me =D

People don't get what they deserve. Nothing is fair. So... Just hold it in right? It soon becomes a grudge. But what if... That grudge... Is unbearable? What will do? What will you do? To make that person disappear ... What will you do? 

Well... I've heard that Jigoku Shoujo REALLY exists, Russell Lee confirms it... Jigoku Shoujo... Really exists... Somebody got sent to Hell... But, it was an anonymous submit... Or did he just didn't want us to ask her 'how'... Who knows...  

Most people aren't like me... Reading about the occult, ghost stories,reading manga, watching anime, playing visual novels and RPG games and sitting in front of the laptop 24/7. Sure, nobody reads creepy stuff... Give it a try, you'll learn much more than what you learn in the worthless education center called 'school'. 

I have no idea. I'm just me. 

I'm a weirdo. So? If you don't like me, stay away, don't insult... Before you get hurt. Or...*Evil Smile*... 

野分。。。野分。。。野分。。。

He's just so sweet and patient... 

Hiro-san is like me somehow... Hot tempered and doesn't like listening to people, as long as the outer shell doesn't crack, and as long as I have my pride... I don't care if people don't like me... As long as there are people who understands... That's enough... I'm waiting for my Nowaki...

See... Even BL makes me jealous. I'm hopeless.

Continuing Chaos;HEAd@2045

MemeMe@Rae-chan

The Elemental Tarot

I was gonna write this last night, but thanks to that video who made me feel queasy, I'll write it now. In case you guys still haven't watch it...
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=280577173557
The link...

xxx

Exact same deck I have, well, bought the same thing with the book. I went and check, and I realized the top cover of the box is missing~ LalaLa~ Where did it go? I dunno.

Like I said, doing this thing is damn hard, the Minor Arcana is harder for me, although the book said it's easier than the Major Arcana. Does this mean I'm stupid, although I know half my brain's gone anyway.

I guess I'll need more practice, heck more! And I'm still not done with the Minor Arcana, can't blame me, it has 56 alone in the Minor, and thank God it only has 22 in the Major Arcana, so I guess it's 78 cards altogether.

Learning this thing is fun, and hard. Ya, ya, I know. Anyone knows one of those expert in this? Cause I'm thinking learning would be easier if someone teaches me, but I'm okay for now. Just a few complicated things in those cards. Mainly the Egyptian symbols.


Yea, how dumb of me, wasting my time doing this, and writing this, knowing that, NO ONE CARES. But hey, I like doing this, and writing about stuff that no one cares about (Mainly ME), next time, when I'm good at this, maybe I'll move on to cursing. Hope you people don't stay away from me, nothing wrong with learning this stuff, well, except it's strongly forbidden by the Heavens and that it has something to do with the cult. And yes... OMG, this sounds so wrong.