Maybe not going for the comp is a good thing, but, maybe it isn't. I was so sure that we'd go, but... We're not going... It's hard, not to think about it... I can't think straight... I feel so dispirited, so lifeless... Again...
I just stand there like a blockhead, staring at everything but noticing nothing.
I just sit there like a statue, staring at the field when there's nothing there.
I just lie there like a twig, staring up at the open sky and trying to reach for the nothingness.
I just close my eyes... Hoping that when I open them, a miracle would appear before me.
Seeing everything...
The familiar roads.
The familiar buildings.
The familiar surroundings.
Which road did I use to come here? Just a second ago, I passed them, I looked at the buildings... I forgot, even if it was just a minute ago...
Staring at the wooden desk, full of drawings and quotes of other people, full of my answers in blue ink... Drinking my everyday tea, ignoring the teacher that is teaching the subject.
Time passes so slowly, but at the same time, it just flies by.
Day by day.
Night by night.
I spend wondering...
About what?
About nothing.
There is so much to think about, yet, there is nothing to think about.
I gave up on hope. I guess my heart was with my hope... Now, they're both gone.
I gave up on hope.
I gave up on him.
I gave up on me.
I gave up on you.
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