What Am I Feeling?

What Am I feeling? I don't really know myself. I don't know anything, I'm so unsure. But, one thing's for sure, this is not because of Kiko leaving me. It's about something else, something that I can only tell someone i truly trusted. But, whenever I speak the truth, no one ever believes me.

This feeling, I don't know what it is. It's like, there's a hole in my heart, and that hole can never be filled. What is missing? Could it be that I miss you? No, that couldn't be it. Could it be that I miss HIM? No, that couldn't be it either.

What is missing? Today, I must admit, I had a great time with my friends. But, there's just this feeling, something that makes me wanna' cry. I don't wanna' admit that I miss you, but, in the end, I do miss you. Why? I don't know the reason either. And this feeling, it never goes away. It makes me wanna' cry for no reason. No reason at all! This feeling sucks big time!

Another thing is, I lied. I lied to HIM. Even if I don't want to, I had to, it's the best way to not ruin our friendship. But, I wonder, what if I had told him the truth? Not lie about everything? Would things turn out differently?

Playing, laughing and eating what parties are all about, for me, it's true. But today. TODAY! I played, laughed and ate but still, there's sadness in my eyes. I had a great time, I really did. But still, that feeling kept haunting me! Stef asked me what's wrong, I told her! I did! But that feeling, that feeling just won't go away! Even when my sister broke the glass shelf in my bathroom, that feeling was still there. I wasn't very angry about that, just angry that Sarah spilled Coke on my bed and that my stupid maid scolded me for all the mess! Damn that woman!

So, I hope YOU will know how I feel. I also hope that HE will know how I feel.

Who is the Enemy?

Who is the real enemy? Things are confusing, should I trust this 'enemy' or should I trust my friend?



Like I said, a friend told me that 'enemy' wrote something about me in her blog. But today, 'enemy' wrote a note to 'AlexanderKia'. Telling 'AlexanderKia' her problems. 'AlexanderKia' let us read the note, the 1st note wasn't about me so I don't have to tell you who it's about. The 2nd note was about me.



So, in the 2nd note 'AlexanderKia' asked 'enemy' wheather she wrote me in her blog or not... Argh! whatever, I'll just write it down... (Words MAy Not BE EXACTLY ThE SamE)



BLUE= AlexanderKia

BLACK=Enemy



Hey, I heard tat u wrote abt Rachel in ur blog...

I din write abt her! I ony write abt *****

But, they say u gt write wad u not from 6B all that...

No la, I din write her, juz tat she vry straight, dun lyk me means say in front of me... Blog is for writing diary ma... so write lo...



That wasn't all, I just forgotten what else she wrote. So now, I'm confused over who's the bad guy and who's the good guy. Maybe both are good, but, I'm still not that sure weather i should believe what she says...



'AlexanderKia', if you're reading, don't be angry with me, cause I can't help it. And I know that if 'enemy' finds out that you let us read, she won't trust you again.

Kiko~

Kiko, why'd you have to leave me?

Kiko died yesterday. Now, he's in Heaven with Koko, Sylvia, Jake and Angel. I cried for almost 30 minutes, I loved him so much, and yet never really showed him how much.

Kiko, here's to you~

From the day I bought you, I loved you. you were a cute, active and smart Hamster. The days I spent with you I shall not forget as you are my most love able pet (besides Max, Angel and Bruno).

I remember the days when I would wish you Good Night and Good Morning. I tell you every where I go, what time I'd be back. But, as things got busier, I didn't really have time to care for you. I asked Lisa and Sarah to change your bedding, food and water, never really have time to do it myself. Even if I do have time, I would be worn out by the day's activities. All I do when I get home from school is bathe, eat, watch TV and sleep.

Now that your gone, It just isn't same. When I look at your empty little cage, I think of you, I miss you. But I just can't have you back. If this is your fate, dying before Micheal Jackson, so be it.

I'm sorry that I didn't give you much Love, but, I just want you to know that I have always loved you. I know it's much too late for regrets but I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. Sorry that I scolded you, dropped you, forgot to change your bedding, didn't spend time with you, left you all alone in my room. But, the most sorry thing is still not giving you much love.

Although I can't really blame my mum for not bringing you to the vet, cause she's sort of afraid of furry animals. But, I wonder, what if she did, would it make a difference? Would you still be here with me? No one can answer that.

So, Kiko, R.I.P little buddy. Hope you're happy in Heaven with all of the other pets that died~

Kiko~

Born: Don't Know When

Bought: October 2008

Died: June 25 2009

My New Story

Yea... I've been doing some thinking lately... About how's my new story gonna be like... I finally thought of it... But I dunno if you guys like it... Let me tell you whats it about...

You see... The thing I like is about murder... But you people don't like it, so I decided to change... I think I'm gonna write about my 1st year studying in NH...

What you think? Tell me later write dy too boring waste my time~

I'll write bout everything... Even things I dun really tell ppl... But I'll change the names though... But through the charater i think it whud be easy to figure out...

Maybe I'll even post it here~

The Story of Tatty Teddy

» The Heartwarming Story of Tatty Teddy (Me to You Bear)" href="http://sparklette.net/archives/the-heartwarming-story-of-tatty-teddy-me-to-you-bear/">

The oldest, smallest house you can imagine was about to be knocked down. All the things that once made the house nice and cosy had been thrown outside and piled up in the front garden, from the soft springy bed the owners slept in, to the old wooden floorboards they used to walk on…

…and even, surely by some mistake, a little brown teddy bear.

He was trapped amongst all the other unwanted things, and couldn’t move. Then, one day, a very cold day, something fell from the sky… a little snowflake.

It landed on the teddy bear’s little nose and then was followed by many more. He began to get cold, very cold indeed. More and more snow fell, heavier and heavier. The little bear was now so cold that his nose started turning blue… so cold that his brown fur started turning grey.

He was cold, unloved and all alone in the world, and felt very, very sad.

Winter finally passed and the weather got warmer. One beautiful spring day, a little girl was playing near the old house, when she spotted the grey bear in the pile of unwanted things. He was like no other bear she had ever seen and she pulled him out from where he was trapped.

She dusted him down and lifted him high in the sky to look at him.

“A grey teddy bear… with a blue nose?” she thought. “How strange!”

The teddy bear wanted to cry. He thought she didn’t like him and would throw him back with the other unwanted things.

“But he’s lovely!” she continued and she fell completely in love with him.

She ran home as fast as her little legs would carry her, to see if her Grandma could patch him up as a lot of his stuffing had fallen out, and he was very much in need of repair.

She looked on as her Grandma replaced his stuffing and patched up his holes. His stitches had started showing where the fur had worn away, but the little girl thought he looked perfect.

It was all cosy and warm in the little girl’s house and the bear felt all cosy and warm in his heart. However, his nose was still blue and his fur was still grey, and they would never return to brown.

He was unique among teddy bears.

The little girl gave him a great big hug. She loved him more than anything else in the world, her little grey, blue-nosed…

Photo credit: » Mapo UK's photo on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mapo/853260737/" target="_blank" rel="external nofollow">Mapo UK

…Tatty Teddy.

---

awww! tell me, wasn’t that sweet? it made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy.

there! please hug the person next to you now, and do pass this story on to someone whom you cherish!

Finally... Im Free From the Boredness in Hospital and my cousins...

Back home... Free from hospital and my cousins...

The 1 and a half days i spent in Ipoh was... Hmmm... Bored, Sleepy, Torturing =.=

I went to Ipoh abt 9 am on Tuesday... When I reached the hospital it was abt 10.30 am... And juz because I go to hospital... Im not sick =.=... My great aunt juz finish OP so we go see her...

It was so dam boring... I stayed in the hospital ward until 4pm... Can u imagine tat??? Frm 10.30 am to 4pm... Of coz i gt go for lunch break... If not i die inside...

U noe old ppl la... My great aunt keep asking the nurse this that this that... I think the nurse oso scared le... U noe la... My great aunt de malay 'A1' de =.=...

My uncle they all oso come bak see her... Ppl love their mum so much...

My cousins leh... U noe wad they do a? Thy am... Ah Hem... Let's juz say tat they're worse than Lau Xin Yi =.= ( U noe wad i mean... SHE always Do de=.=) Even at the hospital oso... Now when come bak home feel so safe XD...



The Hospital... Took frm car

The oldest cousin... 9 yrs old... She started to torture me 1st

2nd cousin... Hmmm... I think 8 yrs old... She din really torture me

smallest... 5 yrs old... oso the 1 who torture me most... lyk monkey... keep jumping on me and... u noe la...

My mum... Park car so 'pro'... every1 park in a straight line... she park until so out... see...

My great aunt who is sick

My aunty... frm KL...

My uncle... came back frm China...

My uncle... came bak frm Australia... Melbourne... Not Sydney... sry say wrong a Stef...

My mum the 'pro' car Parker XD... She see edi sure kill me

The hospital's cafeteria... From my view at least =.=

Wow...Me To You Bears is hard to find in MY

Really I really think so....

So Stef, I noe tat u love Me To You Bears alot... They're so cute^^ I oso wan... So I tot of buying them for us^^

I searched for Me To You Bears... But all UK UK UK... So look in pages frm MY... Nth... Ony on e-bay... They're so cute... Hmmm... I dunno...

Maybe I'll ask my aunt buy for us... She's coming back in October... But, she take a lot of things de... Dunno gt place put teddy anot =.=

Me To You Bears abit expensive leh... plain 13'inch de 30 pounds... plain 24'inch 50 pounds...
If MY money... Dunno how many hundreds edi=.= So Expensive meh...

If I give u a Me To You bear for Christmas u gimme 10 teddies XD... Jk la... Stef I think u will have a Me To You Bear for Christmas from me^^

this one 30 pounds... U lyk de... Im not giving u this too expensive...
i cant promise tat u'll get a Me To You Bear for Christmas...