Tell Me I'm Wrong and Slap Me Please

And um... *ahem*... The 'Content Warning' before you enter here, is REAL, so, don't treat it like it's a joke. I know I'm also under 18 and that people under 18 have no right to put up a content warning and actually WARN people about it, but, dude, it's no joke.

Now that that's done...

I have to ask ShuZn... WHAT? Is let boy boy scold? I didn't reply cuz, I left my phone down 'ere and went to type out our civic thing. So? What the heck do you mean by SOMEBODY let SOMEBODY boy boy scold. Well, you know what? Thank God you didn't say SOMEBODY and SOMEBODY become YOU-KNOW-WHAT... If that were the case, I will not be sitting here, I'll be out with the doggies, drinking... Green tea...

I would like to lose myself sometimes... Ya' know? It's like 'screw me for being such a wuss cuz I never did what I said I would, gosh I'm such a failure' At times like that, I would walk. Yes, I walk. Walk in the streets of Sunny Sitiawan with no freaking place to go, under the hot twelve o'clock sun that's so damn bright you would get hit by a car when you look up... Or... I just... Sit there, and just... Drink... Green tea... Sobbing.

Why not talk to somebody?

Screw that too...

Nobody listens. It's just a burden to people. What? People have nothing else better to do? I think that they would rather be stuck with Punesh, rather than here me go on and on and on about my fucking problems. And besides, I'm not good with talking. I have problem talking, and expressing... I can just make up silly jokes whenever, but, I can NEVER talk about my feelings. They wont come out, and I don't know how I want them to come out. That's why I write. I can think... But, it's different. It's just like talking in my head... But...When I wanna say them out, they just get stuck in my throat... Fuck...

Good in English? Yeah right. It's just books, books and more books, and then there's cartoons and movies. Yeah. All of THIS, they're from cartoons and movies. I don't fucking know what is a verb and what makes it a verb or why we need to use past tense or presence tense or all that crap... I don't fucking know all of those. And those who actually knows them try so hard, but, still, I'm better. WATCH CARTOONS YOU IDIOTS.

Here's a secret... I don't know crap about English, okay? And why the hell do I get an A every year? I choose answers that DON'T sound wrong. I mean... Come on... 'She are a pretty girl'? How can THAT sound right?

Yeah. I'm just pissed. Fuck. Don't have such high expectations people. This is as good as I'm gonna get, I might read more, and watch more movies... But still... If I don't learn, this is everything. So... I can't believe I'm actually saying this but... Screw it, I think I wanna go for English tuition...

Of course. That will not happen, maybe I'd just do a month's course.

*SIGH*

I'm just pissed at myself... No. More like disappointed.

I always say that I can do it, and that I HAVE IT IN ME TO DO IT, but when the time comes... I just don't have the guts to say 'I LOVE YOU'. I love my mom, but... I can't even say them to my own mom... How can I possibly say it to him?

I'm such a loser.

Whenever I'm in the mood to do it... It's too late... It'll be like what? 3 in the morning? You don't expect me to call him at 3 in the morning just to tell him 'I LOVE YOU' right? That would make him HATE me.

HE HATES ME DOESN'T HE???

T___T

He hates me.

I was just joking, but, I'm gonna write something that would really make him hate me right now. So, guys, please, DON'T let him see it. Well, I don't like to be hated. Don't let her see it too. UGH. I'm just gonna write it. Being hated or not, it's still the same, I wont see them very much, will I?

Hello, hi. You know right? You don't have a chance with her. Yep. You don't have a chance with Miss Perfect Bitch Fiona. What? You've crushed on her since when? 3 years ago? And how has that been? Has she accepted you? Well, has she showed signs that she might feel the same way? Before you get answer wrongly, I'll give you the answer. NO. And if you think she has, well boy, you are mistaken. You sure got your hopes up, didn't cha? Sorry to break your heart, I can hear your heart breaking. But hey, wake up now. Sure, sure. You're thinking why right? Lemme tell ya', you can never understand what is going on in her mind, you don't know whether it's true or not. A girl knows a girl, so, shut up for now. You've been so close to her right? Yep. You're blind. Hello, whole world misunderstanding here? But, you like that don't cha? You like how everyone misunderstands that. You like that. You're face just turns bright red whenever someone sees you and says something like 'Wow, you grew up dude' and wink at you, and you try to deny it but your heart is pumping and you just wish that you could say 'Yeah bro, she's mine'... You know that that's never gonna happen right? Or do you wanna give a try at her sister? Oh, they both just look the same. Yeah, sorry.

I'm waiting.

I'm waiting for somebody to shout at me, and say that I shouldn't write things like that. Yes, I'm waiting for someone to scold me, tell me that I'm wrong, tell me that he's not like that, tell me that she's not like that and that I don't understand anything.

Yes. I want somebody to say that I'm wrong. I want that. I want somebody to get angry at me, I want somebody to just tell me that I'm wrong... Because, I wish that I'm wrong... But... I'm right... Aren't I?

Just...

BOOM me, don't tell me that I'm wrong in an UNHURTFUL way. Just say whatever you wanna say. You can say that I'm a bitch and that I'm wrong about this shit and whatever, just don't hold back, because, I want  somebody to scold me... I just want to be scolded by somebody... For this... For saying that...

Just do it.

Nike.

At least I got my anger out. Maybe someone who understands him can tell me that I'm wrong... Please?

I will be waiting for you to STAB me...

No, not literally... If so, I would have killed you...

Please, someone...


And by someone, I mean you, you moron!

You know who right? If not...

Oh God... Why him?

ARGH!

Screw this! His best friend? Or somebody? Will you just say that I'm wrong? Or... If I'm correct, congratulate me, will ya'? And I'll be a shrink when I grow up. No. I'm just joking. PLEASE?

I'm out_3.14am

MeMeMe@Rae-Chan