I Suck. I'm Different.

It's well... About me. Who else? And my oral test, and trumpet SECTION and... More of myself. So... ENJOY!

So, today... Oral test? It was the same result...

*AHEM* "Rachel... a... Your oral still sucks! But, why is your written English so good?"

Of course, she didn't put it like THAT. Hmm, what can I say? I'm just so picky. In fact, I only talk like THIS to my bro. I think I can get an A for my oral if I video taped us talking... But, I'm afraid that the whole log will be censored and that there will be not much conversation. Yep, we swear at each other... A LOT. I call him bitch.

WHAT? I call everyone a bitch...

It's a free country ain't it?

So, I have a request... Will you people speak English with me? Yea. I have this habit of answering you in Chinese, so, if you talk to me in English and I answer you back in Chinese... SLAP ME... Or just say "I don't understand Chinese. English Please!" And while you're at it, you can cough, or RAISE a brow... Or just... Open your eyes as WIDE as possible... Of course, you can also do it in a boring manner. Whichever.

I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna get a C for my oral this year... Or a B... No A...

You know something? I kinda SUCK at just about EVERYTHING.

Today's  trumpet SECTION...

It was Scary old Owl again. Don't ask me why I chose that name... It was TOTALLY RANDOM. Damn my sisters, they LOVE Justin Bieber, and listening to him right now... 'Baby,Baby,Baby. ooooooh" ==

So, as I was saying, today's trumpet SECTION...

"Okay... Er, Rachel... You give it a try..."

There was something in his voice... The sound of hopelessness, and disappointment. We were doing lip slur. Yep, I pretty much suck at that. But... I just suck at playing my trumpet, okay? He'd rather listen to ALL of the new comers than me T_T When it was my turn... I just played C... I didn't even get to slur! And he started lecturing... Until 7.30... I played at like what? 7.15? I didn't even get to slur... When it was lip slur we're doing T_T I'm so sad... I'm such a failure!

 I didn't even slur...

Everything was wrong. About my playing... I'm one of those hopeless people in his list. And, I don't even know if I can pass the next test. It's funny. When I see him, I automatically... Change of atmosphere... It's like walking into a death trap. And worst of all, HE DOESN'T SMILE. If he smiles like what I 'remembered', things would be better. I don't know if he's over stressed or just getting old... But... IT HELPS A LOT WHEN HE SMILES...

I wont smile more. He wont smile more. We're all just doomed.

Yes, being a loner is my thing. I don't care if a wolf eats me when I'm alone in my house watching TV.

I've noticed something about myself. Other than my trumpet skills suck... I think Mr.Too might even be better.  I WILL NOT LOSE TO YOU DUDE!

So... Yeah, I've changed... I'm happier now. At least I don't get upset so easily anymore. Unlike last time, I would be swearing instead of actually writing. So yeah. Things are a lot better now, but, the hatred that I feel for humans grew, and, I'm more of a loner than before. I actually WANT to avoid people, and I AM avoiding people. It's like, I'm a people repellent now. Sure, I wish that I'm a mosquito repellent too. Doing things alone is more fun, and it's actually quite peaceful. I'm just used to the loneliness.

I might LIKE him, but, I don't want to BE with him. But then again... I fantasize about that... Sometimes... When I'm in class... Or playing the piano... It looks like fun, and it feels kinda warm...

People always tend to fall for the wrong people. Like me. It's always the wrong type a' guy that I crush on. Why can't I just fall for someone who makes me laugh? And is a bit pervy? I'm not saying that I like perverts you idiots! I just like funny people, who can take on any joke. But... I always fall for those who are... Gay... Girlie... Girl-like... I like gays too... So, it's no big deal. You know? I just LOVE people I know who will NEVER like me back.

And my choice of girlie guys is because... Well... They look so... Gay... And so... Innocent that they look like they will never ever hurt you cause they don't have it in them to do it. And also because they look cute, and sweet, and the type who would do just about anything to make you happy. Girls are like that, so, I guess that girlie boys are too. Don't get the wrong idea people!

Yeah... I don't act much like a girl. I don't scream at every thing that pops out when I watch  horror movies. I don't think that blowing people up, chopping people up or tearing people apart is sick. I don't think that blood and guts being spilled out is gross enough. I don't think that having your eyeball being pulled out is bad. I don't think that snakes coming out through your skin is scary.

While watching horror movies with some girls... I realize the God damned difference between me and them. They think that it's WAY too scary, and I just... Think that it's normal. They scream, shout, hide their faces while I eat my Kit Kat, and just sit still and watch the movie.

Call producers unimaginative. Cause, I've watched so many movies that have the same way of dying. It may be gross and sickening to you,  but, to me... I'm just used to it all. I'm just against animals dying, I don't care if people get chopped. I don't feel sorry for minced human, but, I do feel sorry for minced animals.

Most people would be like ''WTF?!'' right now. But... Is that weird? Is it weird for a girl to LOVE horror movies? And to favor animals over humans? Am I a weirdo because I like gays? Is it funny that I don't wanna be with him when I like him THIS much.

Yeah, I know, a freak is hard for people to accept. But hey, I have friends, and, they LOVE me. Of course, those are SPECIFIC friends. Not ALL of them. Some are just using me, yea, think I don't know that? Of course I do, I never forget what grandma tells me... TRUST NO ONE...

I always fall for the wrong people, and when I try to like the right ones. I can never do that.

Believe it or not, you're my type and I don't like you. Lucky you =)

Over And Out_11.51pm

MemeMe@Rae-Chan