The Imaginative Mind

All sorts of people, colours, and stuff... That mysterious, calm guy, is his name Joe? Maybe you'd both end up together.

Yes, I'm thinking about all sorts of things. It's like... I never get tired of matching you with someone else, be it a girl or a guy. Things may seem out of place cause you're not gay, but... Oh well, at least things work out in my head. Stop saying that nobody will fall for you, Jia Xun already caught so many fishies O_O are girls these days attracted to big heads...? Maybe there are some who LOVE small heads too. Ikan bilis~

Lalalala~

Not thinking...

Not thinking...

Not thinking...

Not matchmaking...

Not matchmaking...

Not matchmaking...


I AM THINKING AND MATCHMAKING.


Muahahahahahaha O_O

Things don't look too good. Ouch. It hurts so much, can you imagine? Luckily, I WILL ALWAYS HAVE HER T^T even if she's just a friend, I STILL HAVE HER!

Joe... Joe... Joe... Joe...

Yuuna... Yuuna... Yuuna...

Stephanie... Stephanie... Stephanie...

Suu... Suu... Suu... Suu... Suu... Suu...

Koi... Koi... Koi... Koi... Koi...

Hie... Hie... Hie... Hie... Hie... Hie...


Yes. I am bored.

Huhuhu.

Going for LEOmazing Race on the 16th, so will be missing the final for the Astro star thing, wasted ticket. Probably not going for NATCOMP finals either, since I'll be tired on the 17th anyway... Oh yeah, mum, I forgot to tell you, I have a test next Tuesday, I HOPE YOU DON'T FIND OUT! >_<

709, aww, I wanna attend, and starting tomorrow, I'll try to wear as much yellow as possible xD But... Too bad, I... Only... Have... ONE yellow T... I don't have a yellow bag, or cloth, or gloves. I have a yellow lunchbox and bottle. I don't have yellow bras or underwear. No yellow pants either. I guess... I'll wear... Idk... Those dull colours to show how disappointed I am.

Even if we hate her as our maths teacher, at least show her some respect? Her family member just passed away for crying out loud! And she's dressed like she just came back from Hell! Everything BLACK, even her bag and shoes and SOCKS are black! DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW WHAT'S UNDERNEATH! AND NO! I AM NOT INTERESTED IN OLD WOMEN!

I forgot what else I wanted to say all of a sudden. DAMMIT.

So frustrating, I cannot be with a guy like you. You piss me off every single time... WITH something that interests me... ARGH! I just wanna bite you, so you'd know how frustrated I am. I don't know why she doesn't like you, but I guess she's right, I don't even like you! ARGH!

Take seven deep breaths...

IN... OUT... INHALE... EXHALE... REPEAT...

NOT WORKING!

!@#$%^&*()_+

I have no patience at all, and you know what? Mum will look at me tomorrow saying "why didn't you tell me you have a test next Tuesday? Now... GO STUDY AND SHUT THE STUPID LAPTOP! @#$%^&*()__+"...

Me: Hey mum, I wanna go to 709 =D

Mum: ... ... ... 3 8!

Me:... ... ... D= 

MemeMeRachel@2130

Sunday BLUES

Somehow, my Sundays are always gloomier than Mondays. It's like "Dude... I slept at 6 yesterday, and today you want me to get up at 6?!" I always hate the feeling.

I could have fell asleep, if only I didn't have Nescafe during tea just now. Ah and I thought I could fall asleep at 10pm, it's one and a half hour pass ten...

SIGH...

I blabbered so much on the phone, I didn't even care that there was NOBODY on the line. I just kept on talking to myself, hoping for a reply which I knew would never come. In the end, I pressed the DISCONNECT button on the pink bean-shaped phone. Funny... Wasn't there nobody on the line...?

After hanging up... I couldn't make myself sleep. I felt so desperate, I wanted to do something, anything at all, but when I got out of bed, I realized that there is nothing else left for me to do. The glowing screen on my desk, tempting... So I sat down on the hard chair which made squeaky noises every time I moved my butt. Annoying.

What else to do... I feel so demotivated.

Facebook... 0 Notifications, 0 Inbox.

What happened to the Inbox (1) I wonder... I really miss that. But I guess... We're both just busy.

Clicking... Clicking... Clicking...

Ended up on Blogger again, because I didn't feel like OMGPOP-ing or playing Aveyond. I know that if I logged on, I would never go to sleep. I didn't go to Omegle, because I don't wanna talk with strangers anymore, it scares me... Unlike before. I miss Farragomate, but what to do? It's just so unpopular that nobody plays it. I would check my G-Mail, but I know that my inbox would be empty, it's been almost a year or two since that person e-mailed me. Then what about Hotmail? It would be filled with Facebook notifications and spam mails instead of REAL e-mails. I thought about watching anime, but I'd just get in trouble if I wake my mum up in the next room.

Stumbled upon a video on somebody's blog, so watched it on Youtube.

Strangers, Again.

Some of the parts reminded me of myself, the things I'd say when I was unhappy. I think... I'm the one screwing things up, Stage 4, choose how to get through it. But I guess... I'm doing everything wrong, I wonder if it's okay to try to fix things... But... It's going to be harder now. We are both going to get busier starting tomorrow. It wont be like "Honey, I'm home, call me", I'd just take a look at my phone, see if there's any messages. The thing that hurts me the most is looking at my wallpaper when I peek at my phone, because... There's Mr.Haha and my specs, with no messages or anything, just a blank, lonely picture. The thing that gets me frustrated is that I always get messages from DIGI, instead of the person I want to get texts from.

Another regular Monday for me, a new semester for him.

We wont be able to spend that much time together anymore, it'll be like last time, good-nights at 10. The difference between NOW and BEFORE... Looking at my previous journals, I laugh at myself. "I will never EVER fall for that guy! He is such a bitch! I WON'T EVER EVER LOVE A GUY LIKE HIM!", look where I am now... Look where you are now, RACHEL CHEONG!

I will go flip through the memories of 09 again, the time when Red was everything I cared about, the time when you were the only one I relied on... Funny, I've always relied on you, even now...

Stupid as I am and was...

Good night.

Refreshing my memories for a bit so I can mail my latest journal ASAP!

To have a lot, or nothing at all.

If it were you? 

A lot, or nothing at all? 

MemeMeRachel_0008

My Week

I would love to describe my past week with the ONE word I love most- SAME. But, my brother had to throw a birthday party on Friday, so... I can't use SAME T^T

Friday... 1st of July, Sarah's birthday, but Dennis decided to celebrate their birthday together since his birthday is not far away, 7/7.

It was...

@_@

I DARE NOT EVEN STEP INSIDE MY OWN HOUSE WHEN I GOT BACK...

...
...
...

=_=

It was like... AHHHHHH! SO MANY PEOPLE... I scared myself.

While waiting for SZN, me and Jesvin took some food and ate INSIDE cause... There was too many people, and she didn't want to see those ACS people.

So... My bro's iPhone got stolen. YAY. Maybe he learnt his lesson... BUT I DOUBT IT. He never learns. Hehe. Something stolen at your own party. HAHAHA WTH MAN! I know, I'm not helping.

The worst part is... THEY DIDN'T CALL ME WHEN THEY CUT THE CAKE T^T

I was busy in my room playing Draw My Thing and Letterblox on OMGPOP. LOL. I missed the site, been such a long time since I logged in T^T

But... I'M BACK! PANDA! I'M BACK!

Yes... It's the start of July, closer and closer and closer to my PMR trial... Closer to PMR... But, oh well... I'm watching more anime and reading more manga. Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi and Gosick ended... I hated their endings, so I can't accept the fact that they ended, and that is why I'm reading the manga...

Blood-C is another new anime that only started airing recently, thanks again to SZN for recommending Blood-C. Hehe, she also introduced me to watch Togainu no Chi and Gosick.  But... I STILL WONT GO KOREAN!!!!!!!!!!

Blood-C... Sucked. I know I can't tell much from the first episode, but... The first episode was... BORING. So predictable, and so SLOW moving. The main character is so neardy-looking, it made me lost the mood. Blood + was better. They just had to ruin things by making up an anime called Blood-C...


ANYWAY... Ahhh, I shouldn't be doing things like this when I'm suppose to be studying...

UGH.

Why do I need to sit for ANOTHER monthly test if my trial exam is just... Another month away? Isn't it just stupid? I'm gonna get shouted at for getting bad grades again. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS SAVE ME THE TROUBLE AND JUST SKIP THE MONTHLY TEST?! @#$%^&*

ARGH!

My birthday is gonna be relaxing this year, it's after PMR =D So I can skip the next day, or the rest of the week =D I'll just go get another MC from the doctor =D

AHEM.

I'm thinking about... Not celebrating. Well... Maybe... Cook something for myself and a few friends... And that's it. No fancy big party like my bother and sister, no getting $200 presents or a dozen Domo-kun =_=

Ehehe, inviting four and a half months in advance, hope you'll make it back. Which I doubt you will. There's always things more important to do. Mm hmm. Let's all hope you get a Deepavali holiday =D

...
...
...

If there was a knowledge tube thing that allows me to download knowledge into my head, and lets me delete it whenever I want... I WILL SO GET IT... But, nah... They wont ever invent something like that. Unless... We all become robots. !!! That would be bad... I don't wanna eat oil everyday! Even if it's burger flavored, it'll still be oil! AHHHH!

Why am I not asleep? Bet Aunty Owl is already asleep, and she had Starbucks! Gah! I'm nocturnal. The bbq just now didn't help much... I'm hungry again... Uyuyu...

Funeral tomorrow... AGAIN.

Why do people keep dying around here?

My sisters want to go for funerals... Maybe I should just let Sarah take my place tomorrow. Sheesh. They don't ask "Who WANT to go for funeral" they just ask "who CAN". Of course, everyone can, we just don't want to... Nah... Anyway... I go cause I want the $10.

After that... I'll have ice-cream, and my $10 will fly... =_=

My, my... It's almost 4 already, I am so disappointed in myself. Why can't I be normal and sleep at 9? Is it cause I slept from 4 to 7.30 just now?

IDK... I just wanna go hug Suzuki-san. I wonder if I should get Zongxu a human-sized doll... So he wont have to rub his bolster... Hmmm... I have plenty of time to save up before his birthday =D



Have a... Good... MORNING?! >_<

I hope my clock is wrong =x




Lalala~

I look like a panda O_O

THAT IS BAD!







MemeMePANDArachel_0353

I'm Always Tired...

I'm always tired. Recently, it's been getting worse, I can't keep myself awake and I don't even have the strength to talk properly...

...
...
...

I think... I will go sleep now...

But sleep doesn't really help. I might sleep too much and end up not waking up at all. Scary. But... Not so very scary. I'd rather die in my sleep and live in a dream, if it's a nightmare, then I'll find a tree where I can hide inside forever, and if I eventually starve to death in my own dream... Then... I have no idea where I'll end up...

My anime activities are less this year. Two series at a time, but both are ending already. Episode 22 and 23 of Gosick made me cry, so sad. Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi ended already so I'm reading the manga to make myself feel better. Ah, BL... Nothing gets better than that...

Ehehe, I'll be watching Studio Ghibli's most recent movie- The Borrower Arrietty ... After the download finishes. And... Ah... I've gotta go get the subs. Hmm... I downloaded so many movies recently, I scared myself O_O

I think my laptop will take no more... So I have to WATCH WATCH WATCH... But... Mum's giving me pressure about STUDY STUDY STUDY. Oh... If only I had the STFU Button in real life...

Anyway...

I'm not really happy right now. I'm tired, I'm upset, and I'm sighing cause I did something terribly stupid simply cause I felt like it. Yes, you can be upset, pissed off and call me an idiot and have myself call me an idiot again... You rarely get angry, that's why I always do this. I CAN'T BE THE ONE GETTING PISSED OFF ALL THE TIME HONEY! That just makes me... Feel so wrong about myself, I'd feel bad and dump all the crap talk on you making it look like YOUR FAULT, when clearly, it's MY OWN FAULT.

ARGH!

This just never gets better!

Yes. My fucking relationship is going downhill.

Oh well, what can I say? I'm just the type of irrational girlfriend that doesn't give a damn about how my boyfriend feels as long as I feel good. Yeah, you can curse me now. I'm such a useless bitch, I know, tell me something I don't please. I'm selfish, inconsiderate, blah blah blah... I like girls, I like guys, I like BL and Yuri blah blah blah... I fell for your first crush and stuff blah blah blah... I fell in love with a girl, or girls, or even my friend and all that crap. AH. Tell me some of the stuff about myself that I don't know about.

I'll just go squat in the corner of my room and draw circles while I sob now. But first, I have to turn out the lights. But before that, I have to end this post.



...
...
...

When you walk away I count the steps that you take. Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you.

When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too.

When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay...

I miss you.

Avril  Lavigne

When You're Gone

I know I always do stuff too late. I'm sorry. I love you.

The Ignoring SOMEBODY Thing

Hmm Internet Explorer isn't half bad, but I still prefer Google Chrome =D

So... I've been IGNORING a certain someone lately. I do not know why. Hmm.

Don't take it personally buddy, it's not you, it's me, but then again maybe it is you, but no, I think it's me, not you.  So don't worry. You didn't DO anything wrong, no, no, you never did anything, so how can anything be your fault if YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING?

The music is getting more... More... More... How do you say chee gek in English? =_= NEVER MIND.

BREATHE IN... BREATHE OUT... REPEAT...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh! >_<

Testing myself to see how long can I go without texting/calling SOMEBODY. I feel annoyed. The fact that my buddy thinks that he annoys me makes me more ANNOYED than I already am. I don't mean that he annoys me, no... NO... He doesn't. But he's an idiot that thinks that he's annoying me =_=

He's busy anyway. Wouldn't want to disturb him.

He's always busy.

So I won't disturb him.

I'd save myself from dying younger if I stay away from my phone.

What to do... What to do... What to do... Hmm I'm hungry, maybe I'll go grab something to munch on...

So early? I thought I'd wake up pass noon. Never mind... At least I have my laptop, music and the internet. Such a lonely, miserable thing. The company of myself is the only thing I ever need...

...
...
...

...
...
...

...
...
...

I'm about to lose my mind

You've been gone for so long, I'm running out of time

I need a doctor, call me a doctor

I need a doctor

Doctor to bring me back to life

...

                                                                                                                                                             Eminem

Dr.Dre

Skylar

I Need A Doctor

MemeMeRachel@1031