I AM... RACHEL CHEONG YUN XUAN

I have no idea why I just did that. Dumb title. Oh well, stupid is in my blood, I wonder why everyone else in my family is un-stupid. Hmm, I guess I sucked the stupidness from them. Anyway... They should thank me, without me, they'd still be stupid.

So many of you don't know me. I can tell, cause, even my best of friends don't know me?! WHAT? OMG, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE NO FRIENDS? AT ALL? Damn... This makes me feel like moving to The North Pole and live with Penguins!

So many of you hate me, I know, drop the act. I make people hate me everyday, it's like, I live to make people hate me. Is this it? Is this why I'm still alive? Is it that I'm still alive so that people could feel the pleasure of hating me? Wow, that sucks.

I know, I know. I may act like I hate you guys, but, I DON'T. Just come on, this is the way I fucking am! Don't you guys know me at all? FINE. If this is everything you guys DON'T know, why am I still your friend anyway? Why are you guys still keeping me around if you guys don't even know me? It's fucking ridiculous.

I still wonder, I've been studying Chinese ever since I was six. And I've been getting Cs for Chinese my whole life, WHY AM I STILL STUDYING CHINESE?! I suffer in Chinese class! Oh, the irony!

Well, you guys do know ONE part of me I show. Just wanna let something out, you know? Fine, fine. FINE...

I LIKE YOU. I LIKE YOU A LOT. WAIT, I DON'T KNOW YOU. BUT, WHATEVER. I JUST LIKE YOU. I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW ME AND I DON'T KNOW YOU AND THAT EVERYTHING IS TOO LATE AND BLAR CAUSE YOUR GONNA LEAVE... LIKE EVERYONE I HAVE... WELL WHATEVER. AT LEAST I WROTE THIS. I KINDA FEEL BETTER.

Whoever you guys are thinking. NO.

I just wonder. CAN I KILL MYSELF? AND MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE BY KILLING MYSELF?