Lifeless-Dead-Meaningless

I was up all night thinking what happened during the months, 2 months of 2010 is almost gone, and yet, when I think of it all, everything I've done is wrong, hurtful. Then I think again, what about me? I close my eyes and and the flashback starts, looking at myself, I was lifeless. Although the world around me is full of life, I manage to lock myself up in my own world of misery.

What is this all about? Society is falling apart, can't you see that? I mean, WTF are you guys doing? Yes, you two, NOT including your sister or in your case your 14 year old daughter. Why are you guys like this? SHE'S not the best,woman! And yes, just because she's your fucking daughter and she knows stuff, it still doesn't mean that she's all THAT. Seriously, fuck you two.

Guess you guys know who I'm taking about huh? If anyone reports me to YOU KNOW WHO, lock yourself in your house, and I don't care who the hell you parents are.

Then back to me.

Why am I even here? I realize, I just don't have the skill, and that nothing is ever getting better... Wait, wait, I'm eating spicy chopped chicken... Yummy... Okay, now, where was I? Ah yes... And I feel like I don't belong there, you know? And my interest have all gone because of the people who's in charge act like... THAT... Well, not all of them, just SOME...

And now, my mummy's letting me quit... I think. There's no point for me to stay, now is there? I'm just another obstacle in the way. If I had known, I would have never came, I would have gone to ACS instead. And I should never have joined during primary three.

I still don't know, did I choose the wrong way in life? But whatever, it's too late to change it anyway, now, I have to choose carefully... The right one... I have three options:

1. Quit
2. Not quit
3.Hello ACS,Bye bye Nan Hwa

Which is more likely? I dunno... I just don't belong, I'm no good, I never were.

And then there's you...

I love you, but then, you don't. So, I guess it's best that I move on and forget you and all that. I guess I'll love you enough to let you go then... Like one Chinese song '手放开', the lyrics go 最后的疼爱是手放开... I think... Then... Bye bye, good luck in whatever your gonna do.

That's all I guess, I'm such a lucky person, I'm listen to my mummy playing the piano and eating spicy chopped chicken and writing this~ Ah, I love my home...