Kiss the Rain

Emotional little me suddenly missed the tune of this song, and so I printed out the sheet music and started to play it. Somehow, it sounds like how I feel at the moment. I'm happy, grateful, I want to hold on to what I have, yet there's so much that can't be promised...

I don't know how to put my feelings into words-- I always don't. That's why I seek comfort and enlightenment in the music that I play... Candidly, I just deleted four paragraphs. I don't know if I'm lying to myself, or just afraid of telling the truth. 

Wake up, I tell myself. This dream is killing you. I know that very well. Sometimes, it's not that I don't know what's tearing me apart, I just don't want to admit it. I know damn well the thing that's suffocating me, tightening my chest, holding me down and making me ache... I just wished that something else was the cause of all this pain. 

You're like the rain. Something I love, something I'm grateful for that's in my life. Like all the joy these droplets bring, there are consequences. The clouds that gather on a rainy day; emotions that bring me down. The mud that stains my white shoes; the feelings that are impossible to wash away so soon. Dancing in the rain is like being in your embrace, I love it yet it's not something I should be doing. A brief moment of happiness, followed by days and days of pain. I ask myself if it's worth it. Why bother? I already know the answer. I just wish it was the other way around. 

I wonder if you'd turn away, after knowing how I really feel. 

I didn't think I'd lose myself this soon, you know? I'm such an idiot! I guess that's what I get for making Courage the Cowardly Dog my role model when I was younger! "The things I do for love!" that purple dog would exclaim every time he does something he'd rather not do-- all for the sake of his beloved Muriel. 

Albeit just days ago that I performed on stage, I miss playing Fate of the Gods. I want to do it again, and again and again and again and again! Even though my part is just... Meh... I still want to perform it. "Oh, I like my part, I just hold one note!" said no trombonist ever.

My mood's improving, thanks to a piggy back ride that didn't really exist.

You make me smile.

There's so much left to say, but... Sometimes, some things are better left unsaid. Not everything in life is meant to be understood. Another depressing quote that my mother post on my wall. Great. Thanks a lot, mum, now I just feel like crying in a corner. 

Empty

I was feeling empty when I talked to you, then I remembered this song.

I know, you won't bother listening to what they're singing, so I prepared the lyrics. 

"Empty"

Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But its empty

Tried to write a letter
In ink
Its been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

Oh oh
Oh oh
Oooooh
Oh oh
Oh oh

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

We're empty
We're empty

"I gave it up, but it was not enough, cause she never seemed satisfied..."

If you think that I only want you for that, then continue to think that way. I have everything to lose, so why would I want you like that.

I'm speechless. Clueless. What do I want, I don't know. What are my expectations, I don't know either. I'm never satisfied, and I know that, but it doesn't mean that you have to TRY and satisfy me every time, just what's the use if I never am. I just put the blame on you, I always start the fights, you just accept the blame... No matter what... You just take it...

I don't know what I want you to do. I have nothing I want you to do. Just do what you want, you're not my puppet. Free to leave anytime you want, but you just don't want to.

I have nothing to say...

Nothing...

I'm just too selfish, you'd be better off without me.

"She watched me try, at least a thousand times. If she love me she'd stop me but no..."

I just don't know what to say, my mind is blank, everyday we fight, it's like 5 days of war and 2 days of peace, how can you stand it... How can you stand me? You apologize every time even though you don't need to. I'm the one who should be saying sorry and feeling bad... Not you...

Losing your temper is fine, you've finally lost it, I've pushed you to the limit... I see...

Are the words "I'm sorry" going to help? I tell you. I tell you, but the next day when we wake up we'd fight again.

"She wanted someone that's perfect, okay... Can you tell me who is?"






I LOVE YOU.
I KNOW THAT I'M NOT WORTH IT.
BUT PLEASE, STAY WITH ME.


ZONGXU...
I'M SORRY...

Just a Kiss- Lady Antebellum

Just sharing another song with you guys, since I know that somebody is TOO lazy to go listen on his own, I'll just post it here so that the stalker would hear it.

Lyin' here with you so close to me

It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe

Caught up in this moment

Caught up in your smile

I've never opened up to anyone

So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms

We don't need to rush this

Let's just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

Just a touch of the fire burning so bright

No I don't wanna mess this thing up

I don't wanna push too far

Just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one I've been waiting for my whole life

So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time

It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find

It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

Just a touch of the fire burning so bright

No I don't wanna mess this thing up

I don't wanna push too far

Just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one I've been waiting for my whole life

So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight

I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams

Tonight...

Tonight...

Tonight...

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight

Just a touch of the fire burning so bright

No I don't wanna mess this thing up

I don't wanna push too far

Just a shot in the dark that you just might

be the one I've been waiting for my whole life

So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

Random Thursday in July

Monthly exams are OVER! But this time, it isn't "YAY! Let's skip school and go on holiday!" in fact, this time it's "Oh shit no! Trials are almost here! Oh God! Oh God! And after trials, the real thing will be here! Noooo!" =_=

I forgot what I did today, the whole day was BLURRY for me. Half awake doing everything. I think I had a ballroom dance with Winnie in class. Hmm... Did I bitch-talk about people today... Most likely YES, because... There isn't one day in my life that I'm not crapping about somebody, even if it's the same old crap, it just... Never gets old.

I love surprises, we all love surprises. I wonder how well I can plan a sneak attack. Uhuhu, I'm such a cheeky girl. I have something in mind... I just hope that I'm not too late D=

I know I always say this... But... Jesus, if you make it happen, I swear, I will follow mum to church. Okay, FINE, I'd just go for ONE session... Sheesh. So... CAN YOU MAKE IT COME TRUE?! I'm not asking for much, oh no, I don't want first place, I just want a SURPRISE ATTACK =)

Oh yeah, guess what...

I PASSED MY MATHS TEST!

Even though it is laughable, because the questions are damn easy, I'm happy that I passed, and it is your business that you make fun of my stupidness. Hey, at least I got 12/30, and not 3/30 like SOMEBODY. Whatever, I'm happy that I'm able to pass.

Ahh, I finally watched The Roommate. I now have the ROOMMATE PHOBIA. When I go to college next time, I wanna live with someone I know, or just live alone, or just live with a dog! Ahhh! I don't wanna have a psycho hot lesbian roommate... I JUST WANNA HAVE A HOT LESBIAN ROOMMATE! Minus the PSYCHO... Shivers... Crazy bitch...

I wanna try something next time... If I get the chance to go to a bar, I'd look at a girl, and hope she looks at me too. Then, I'd follow her into the restroom. When she talks to me, I'd get closer and closer to her. Then when she applies her lipstick, I'd ask her "What flavour?" and have her lend it to me. Holding the lipstick, I'll ask her whether or not I can taste it. When she tells me to go ahead, and leans her face closer to mine, I'd kiss her. And then, go back to her place. Ah, the perfect plan.

SLAP!

SLAP!

WHACK!

BAM!

I helped to hit myself so mum won't have to chase me and strangle me because of my abnormalness. She always complains about this. But... I'm not writing nonsense... Okay, maybe I am... But, this is me, so if I'm weird, I can't help it, not everyone in this world is normal ya' know. I'm just the special type who needs a bit of tightening, or maybe I just lost a few screws growing up.

I'm so bored. Mr.Too is asleep already.  I can't share my thoughts anymore. Aww... That bastard loves lesbians. I'll say no more, or else he is going to kill me and have my blog reported. Hah... Lesbian Loving Little Fucking Pedo-Pervert Drummer Boy...

Oh my, Zongxu's nickname gets worse everyday. At first, it was just... Little Fucking Drummer Boy. Ah, I guess he already naik pangkat~

R-R-R... RAICHU?! O_O

YES! I'm Pikachu's... Uhh... IDK what...

Anyway, have a good night, and enjoy your dreams.

May Lady GaGa be in your dreams teaching you English, and Katy Perry kiss you so she could taste your cherry chapstick, while dancing with Britney Spears and Ke$ha till the world ends. Throw a grenade at Bruno Mars, and a dynamite at Taio Cruz while you both are getting higher. Love the way Eminem lies to you that he needs a doctor.

MemeMeRachel_2344

Suga Shikao - Kazenagi

I wasn't in the mood to be emo. But now... Okay...

Everyone's got a favorite. A tune that brings that warm... Sad... Feeling? Just make you stop there and listen to it, and you go in flash-back mode and think of your mistakes that include love?

With me, it's always the guitar... It's something like this, and of course, this is one of those sad+happy+emo songs that make me...


And yes, I sometimes sit on the balcony like that. Except... I'm not that cute :x






I have no idea why... But... The first time I heard it... I was like... Frozen for some reason, and then... I smiled. My sisters were beside me thinking that I've gone cuckoo ==

Original Lyrics

Hajime kara sono tsumori de 
Kimi wa ita no kamo... nante
Sore nara sore de betsu ni ii ya 
Imasara tashikameyou mo nai

Dare wo nikundara ii? 
Nani wo oshikoroseba ii?
Te wo furazu ni satte iku hou wa 
Boku yori kanashii no kanaa...

Nee ima boku no mune wa 
Haritsumete shimau bakari de
Tada namida dake ga 
Darashinaku ochiru no desu

Kanashimi wa nami no you ni 
Nando mo kurikaesu rashii
Warui tsume wo hagu toki mitai ni 
Itsuka yukkuri hagarete iku no kanaa

Tada fukai ao ni shizumu 
Sora wa owakare no iro
Bokura ga inoru koe wa naze 
Fugai naku konna usupperai n' darou...

Nee kyou Bokutachi wa 
Sorezore no hikari wo sagashi
atarimae no you ni ashita e to arukidashimasu...

Nee ima boku no mune wa 
Haritsumete shimau bakari de
Tada namida dake ga 
Darashinaku ochiru no desu

I don't own anything, and, these are from Youtube!

I don't know the meanings either. But, from the 'Would you like to translate this page?' translations... It's kinda like a sad song too, something about good-byes???

Anyway. I don't really know how to explain stuff, and, I'm not in emo mood these days... I wonder... What could it be? What could it be?

Hey, I know that finals are coming up... But, I'm bored, and, I feel like writing a lesbian story??? So? Do I get  
any support? xD

 I love red eyes.

スガ シカオ(SUGA SHIKAO) / 19才

Well, hello! I was gonna write this yesterday, but, I ended up writing about something that's actually in life, instead of my anime craziness. Well, of course, since I'm anime crazy, I wrote A BIT about anime yesterday. So, if you have no interest whatsoever, don't read it, and CONTENT WARNING, you might not wanna see the MV if you're the type who is closed, and says NO to sex????

Oh well... 

ANYWAY...

The song is nice, quite emo. But, the MV freaked me out. It's also the opening theme for season one of xxxHolic. 

This is the opening song of the anime, quite nice.

Yea, that was just a pic~

This is the video, DON'T LOOK the first time, listen to it first, and then, you can watch it. Of course, you can just watch it straight, I just want you guys to guess how old is this guy, by listening to his voice, not look at him.


















Oh, guess how old he is yet? No? He sounded GREAT right? Like a guy whose in his twenties? But, lemme tell ya, he's 40+ ^^

He wasn't the one 'camera raping'(Youtube comments) the girl, he was the one who popped out singing from time to time.

I wonder... Is that guy with the camera hot? All the people that commented said that the camera guy was HOT. And cute.

So, I watched an interview of Suga, and... I didn't know a word he was saying! Well... There was one... I only understood NINTENDO DS ==

And some kind people were kind enough to translate some of it...

When I was 19, my hobby was raping girls... And when I raped one girl, she liked it... And now, I play Nintendo DS.

Apparently, there's a game for you to improve your language. OOOOO! I'm gonna try out a Japanese one, I think I can download it... Hmm...

Well. About the video. Nah, it was about the two fantasizing themselves doing it with each other. So, there.

And one more thing, if you get caught, it isn't porn. It's a MV of a Japanese song, which is cool, and one of a kind.

Logging off@12.12am

MemeMeRachel

Leona Lewis - Happy

Yes, this time, the song is for everyone who just wants to be happy. Including me.

I don't care what I do, I know I'm just hurting myself but it makes me happy. Just wanna be happy, don't stop me!

Vanilla Twilight- Owl City

Yes, this is again to him...

John Mayer ft. Taylor Swift- Half of My Heart

This is dedicated to my... umm... to my... err... my... my... you guys get it...

I love you~

Song Describees

I have nothing better to do~
Wasting time~
Don't bother reading~
It's nothing~

'... I get lost, in the beauty, of everything I see, the world ain't half as bad as they paint it to be...'

(One Republic- Come Home)

'... I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly, it's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep cause everything is never as it seems...'

(Owl City- Fire Flies)

'... Tell me why you're so hard to forget, don't remind me, I'm not over it, tell me why I can't seem to face the truth I'm just a little too not over you...'

(David Archuleta- A Little Too Not Over You)

'... When you're sitting there is hard for me to look away, so I try to find the words that I could say, and I know what distance does it matter but you feel so far away... It's like every time I turn around I see your face...'

(Simple Plan-I Can Wait Forever)

'... Don't even recognize the ways you hurt me do? It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back, and you're the one to blame...'

(Rihanna-Rehab)

'... Every night I rush to my bed with hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you when I close my eyes, I'm going outta my head, lost in a fairytale can you hold my hands and be my guide? Clouds filled with stars cover your skies, and I hope it rains you're the perfect lullaby. What kind of dream is this? You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, either way I don't wanna wake up from you...'

(Beyonce- Sweet Dreams)

'... I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known... I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams, where the city sleeps and I'm the only one and I walk alone... I'm walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind, on the border line of the edge and where I walk alone. Read between the lines what's fucked up and everythings alright... My shadow's the only one that walks beside me, my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating, sometimes I wish someone out there will find me, till then I'll walk alone...'

(Green Day-Boulevard Of Broken Dreams)

'...I'm not perfect person Theres many things I wished I didn't do, but I continue learning... I've found a reason for me to change who I use to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you..'

(Hoobastank-The Reason)