Stories. Future Choices. Surprises.

Recently, I'm becoming everything I hate more and more.

Never in my life have I ever thought of writing romance, but I've been getting a lot of inspiration. A romantic plot would unravel in my head every five minutes. I don't know what I want to write more, the actual love story or the 'after the big kiss' scene. The story I'm working on right now is going from bad to worse. As if that isn't bad enough, I am stuck in the scene of somebody's fiancee raping the fiancee's ex... Of course, the raping hadn't actually begun... Only... Molesting...

I want to write horror again, but with each passing year, I tend to forget bits of the style I write horror with. For those of you who read my Violin Girl series before, should I continue with a final book? It was fun writing the series, better when I had a partner-- I still remember you, idiot-- I am embarrassed to read the stories that twelve-year-old me wrote though, they probably need a lot of correcting. Now that I think of it, I was much more popular back when I was twelve.

It has been a while since I killed people I hate in my stories... It happened so often back then that I sometimes wonder how those people can still be alive. I've killed every single one of my friends at least five times already =x

Finishing the Violin Girl series crossed my mind a few years ago, but I abandoned the project halfway because I was losing confidence. The notebook is now lying in my drawer of stories, waiting for me to either finish it or tear it apart.

Did I become less violent over the years? I don't have such strong urges to kill people in stories anymore. Hmm... The more I don't care, the more I can't write... OH MY GOD! Does this mean I have to actually care to get good reasons for me to want people dead? Ah... That will be a problem indeed... Indeed...

Oh the reason why I'm even here today is because I cannot decide what to do after I graduate from high-school! There are THREE options: Mass communication, English literature, ADP(American-transfer program). The ADP is my backup plan for when I really really REALLY cannot decide. I'll leave it at that then. WELL... What do you guys think? I hate people, but I'm a people person when I need to be.

Lalalalalalala~

That aside, I CAN'T WAIT FOR LADY GAGA'S FAME TO BE IN MY POSSESSION! I don't know if  dad will get a bottle for me or not since he's not going to the US this round... What is there to get in Spain?

I have absolutely no mood for horror stories. Even though it's party time for the hungry ghosts, this year seems to be quiet... Too quiet... Ah, I don't want anything bad to happen to anyone.

I think I will blog regularly again. BAH, that is what I always say. I hope I can though, I do want to share my thoughts... WELL, not like anyone cares anyway. Personal blogs almost never get any attention... Mm... I guess it's better this way. =)


I think I won't consider English literature anymore since I gave up on Hamlet after reading the first act =-=

Sharing is caring, so everyone, I'm going to share a special blog with you guys:

Daisy White of your Dreams

Daisy White is an excellent writer. Make your way through her most famous post, 三天两夜之黄金海岸, indulge yourself in her words, imagine yourself as miss Daisy White looking at the sea and sky from the bedroom window... and get ready for the biggest surprise of your life(for those who know her)! We have to give credit to miss Daisy White for being full of surprises, now don't we? She will make millions if she directs a horror movie. Ah, don't worry, the blog has got nothing to do with ghosts... Just... 

Disclaimer: I will not be responsible for any loss. Click link at own risk. 

Welcome Home~ Dad~

Whee~ When was the last time I saw my own father? =X

Maybe last... August...?

August...

September...

 November...

December...

January...

February...

Six months already?! Huaa? Or is it eight months...? Uww... I forgot how long >_<

Yesterday's post was a total FAILURE. I was half asleep when I wrote it. LOL. Nah... I couldn't possibly treat you guys like... Strangers~ We're friends... RIGHT? RIGHT????

Oh, Hong Gi's birthday is on March 2nd... Which reminds me... As Rachel Minam Tae Min Onew =_= I have to buy THREE gifts for my lovely Hong Gi~ ♥

Anyway... I'M NOT into K-pop. I'm just playing. Hey. It's good enough that I know which group are made outta guys, which group are made outta girls... Well... At least now... I THINK I know who is in SNSD...?

Lalala~

Stephanie got good grades so far, jealous~♥ hng!

Haha. I just realized how much I suck. Never mind.... We'll see about that... I'm sure that after drawing 80 pages of Science diagrams... Multiple uterus, ovaries, vagina, and penis... I will ace my Science =X

I'm just saying. Not sure. UGH. Why do I have to learn things that I don't wanna learn and do things I don't wanna do! UGH!

>_<

International Chinese Writing Competition? LMAO! WHY?! Do you need me to write... Tell me why teacher... I will write. I will write you a lesbian story. Or do you prefer gay?

Grr...

DAMMIT.

I feel like my results are killing me. No, seriously, I seriously feel that way. Pressure... Even if the test papers are really light, it's like they're crushing me. Ahhh! It doesn't matter...? But let's just face it... Everything matters... Hmm... I think I will turn into one of those kia su people soon... But... Man... Just thinking about it is enough to kill me. I feel so tired just thinking about my grades!

Gahhh!

I really... Really... Really.... REALLY... Feel like dying.

Don't know why. Unlike most people, I know that there are people who are having things WAY worse, and that there's a solution to everything, and that we should cherish life, blah blah blah... I know that crap... Gave me life...? Gave me life... Like everyone living on this world, YOU are the same. YOU make the decisions, because what? YOU chose to die because of us? Yeah, damn YOU, YOU should have just let YOUR FATHER destroy the world. Second chance? What the heck, aren't YOU destroying it now anyway?! And I use to wonder why they follow HIM instead of YOU.  I guess I got my answer now.

Sorry if I disappoint you too much dear, if you don't like the way I think then don't like me at all. Because we both know, we are not the same. I am born this way.

Lady Gaga

レイシェル＠１５５９

Random? Post? I Guess?

Been a long time since I used my laptop, everyone looks so busy... I'm so lazy... Suddenly, I feel like I died again. Either that or I'm just tired.

YAWN

Been sleeping at 9.30, maybe 10, ever since school started. The most is 11... Morning session is tiring. Wake up early... Come home late... Nightmares about people going crazy and starts killing people, and a weird black hair band that turns into a killer puppy/half spider half woman demon...

I feel hopeless again...

Studies... I really feel like committing suicide, but... Even idiots live till they get old... And besides, if I kill myself now, there'll be nothing to look forward to during Chinese New Year... And... Meh... I can't forgive myself if I die now... Might as well live longer if I'm gonna get tortured in hell anyways...

Unless I become a nun...

Nah...

That will never happen.

Brrrrr~

The past two weeks have been nothing but unhappiness.

Long story. A lot can happen in two weeks.

Teachers are all... I'mma have to face them next year... And maybe the year after that... I can't wait to graduate, and then discover the uglier side of things. Hah. Life. Repetition.

Now that I think of it... Marrying someone isn't such a bad idea... Hmm... I just don't feel like living alone, sharing with a roommate is fine...

That's a bit far... I still have PMR to sit through.

I don't believe it. You doubted me being straight! AND YOU THOUGHT I'M A LESBIAN WHEN YOU'RE MY FREAKING BOYFRIEND!

I don't deny the fact that I like girls. But, I'm dating a guy... So... Uhh... I'm Lady Gaga =_=

Yeah, yeah... Nobody encourages it. But... I'm not picky. Who cares? As long as I'm happy.

Wow... 10% of people are gays, 10% straight... 80% bi??? Great. And I thought it was weird.

I wonder how many people actually wants the world to end in 2012...

I've already got the list of to-do-things planned out if the world's gonna end in 2012... At the top of the list... Mum, you don't wanna know what it is... Don't kill me...

Do it with a girl.

WHAT? I'M STILL CURIOUS... IF I'M GONNA DIE, MIGHT AS WELL KNOW.

Okay... The second one will be a bit more normal...

Do it with a guy.

I'M GONNA DIE ANYWAY!

After that... Yeah... I guess I'm ready to die.

Shhesh. Can't a girl dream? Don't send me to a counselling thing, I know I'm weird. But hey... I've tried everything I wanted to except for the above two. And if I ask you how it feels, what you gonna say to me? =_=

Right now, I feel like having roti canai.

What???

I guess you could say that I'm on a diet... Hmm... I eat less... Nah... I stuff myself with fruits after a small small plate of rice. I feel like eating sweet stuff for some reason... Just sweet things... Not too sweet... Just... Sweet =_=

Like... Cake...

I know... I know...

I'm going crazy... I don't think I'm stressed, but I feel like strangling my teachers, and the new half bald headmaster. I don't care much. Can't even see his face without my glasses on.

Thursday...

Another two weeks...

WELCOME HOME DAD!

I'll be spending valentine's day alone.

My boyfriend thinks that I'm a lesbian. He doesn't encourage bisexuality, I'm not picky. 

Christmas Eve and Musical Night Dinner?

What the hell... Count down for Christmas? You lucky draw half way say

• OH IT'S TWELVE O ONE. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

THAT? Has to be the WORST countdown. The Halloween one was better la...

Wooh~

Jesvin~

Sexy man~

So fair la T^T

So slim~

So nice~

Too bad la... That perverted dude my mum brought along was looking at your butt when you were on stage. Cause... Well... Your back was facing us... So... I guess... Everyone can only look at your butt???!!!

O_O

Okay...

Enough with that...

If that 10 year old was 10 years older, wow... It would be much more enjoyable... I wonder... Few years later, will she still perform??? I hope she has big boobs... Hmm... I wonder... Will they bounce when she dances? That would be a bit funny~ Teehee~

Suddenly, I feel that ballerinas make good girlfriends?

Don't worry, you're still my girlfriend, unless, you wanna be my boyfriend?

Puuuuuu~

They look so fair, and slim, and they dance too!

Most of all, they are soft~

Don't ask why.

I feel that they're soft???

Uhhhhhh...

I'm a bit lazy to change. After I came back, Facebook a while, wishing mah pals and girlfriend Merry Christmas, played the piano... And... Mostly, I was just figuring out how to put back the clear holder thing... Dammit... After so long... And... It only took 3 secs to fix it... ~!@#$%^&*()_+

Ahhh...

It's Christmas,  play Silent Night la.

The neighbors aren't here with knives. Good.

Man... If my aunt gives me her spare Blackberry next year... And what... Postpaid line? HAHAHA. My mum will kill me when the bill comes. You know how I get carried away if there's no limit la =_= which is a bad thing.

I'm so lazy to change, I feel so sleepy! Uffff!

Wear stockings and a dress to sleep. Hope I don't rip the stockings.

I don't care la... Besides... I'll be up at 10am...

So... I'll just bathe then.

HAIH

Christmas...

Where the hell did my spirit go?

FA LA LA LA LA. LA LA LA LA.

=_=

No mood.

Tradition died.

Kiss me under the mistletoe.

LOL

My hair... Ahh... I was in a hurry... I splatted a handful of wax la... =_= Damn sticky now >_<

When it comes to shoes, dresses, and HAIR...

I AM HOPELESS

I prefer jeans, shorts, simple tees, flip-flops, and sneakers.

I CAN'T EVEN WALK PROPERLY JUST NOW

AND I WASN'T EVEN IN HEELS

I was in...

Uhh...

What do you call that...

This type of girly shoe, with holes in front? NO. THE ABOVE PIC ISN'T MINE.

If I wore a long gown that covered my feet, I would have wore slippers instead =_=

Slippers damn comfy~

No pictures of our sexy Jesvin.

Sorry~

Wasn't in the mood to take pictures.

Shit... Credit balance RM17.50. Damn... RM4.50?

Damn expensive.

But... What to do?

 I beh tahan wor... Can't control myself T^T

Want gimme Blackberry pulak... Go bankrupt...

Ahhhh...

Never thought that you'd say it to me. Miss.

Doesn't feel like Christmas... Probably because this year, I didn't went toy shopping at Toys R Us.

Dammit.

Every year, I buy myself toys during Christmas shopping... But this year... Hell... There isn't even Christmas shopping. I'm so embarrassed, don't gimme presents. I have no more space, and besides, nobody can get me the things I want.

Other than meeting Santa...

I want a giant teddy bear.

I want a Me To You Tatty Teddy~

I want a futon set~

I want a free anime dvd grabbing coupon, which allows you to grab 5 anime dvds you want ^_^

I want Sebastian and Ciel nendroid by Good Smile Company~

And mostly...

I want Zongxu.

Anyone can get me my presents?

No right?

Then, good night.

Don't bother asking me if I'm changing.

Damn lazy. Tired. Even if I didn't dance.

Dancers went to Steak House. Yeah... After the dinner. I'm guessing the owner's treat... Or maybe Mr.Lau's treat?

Don't know.

Jesvin, you look damn hot today.

Teach me how to dance.

On second thought... DON'T...

I don't think I like dancing.

I'm sad...

The hip-hoppers didn't do Lady Gaga.

HOW COULD THEY NOT DO GAGA?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THIS LIL MONSTER IS UPSET!

Flower Heart?

Flower heart.

I never thought about it.

I never knew what it really meant? And I still don't know what it means.

Yes. I am an idiot.

But don't worry though, he's my last.

I know I say that every time... But... Gimme a break will ya? I never knew anyone that I could talk to like this...

Even if I really NEED a screen in between... And can't really do everything I do with girls. Don't get any wrong ideas yet.

I'm not lesbian.

I'm just curious.

Well... You know... We seem so soft... And... Fluffy... I... Uhh...

This is where the last of my lines come in...

I kissed a girl and I liked it, and we... Too bad it was a dream...


WHAT?!

Don't worry... I don't like girls... I can touch myself~

EHHH HEEMMMM

Sorry bout that =_=

I was... Uhh... A bit... Caught up... In that...

Remember the dream that I told you guys... The one with Lady Gaga... Naked... And... Uhhh... Then I woke up????

AHHH

WHAT THE HELL

You probably think I'm sick by now.

I thought it was normal to fantasize/dream about famous people naked? Especially the ones which are rumored to be a guy but is a girl???? =_=

RIGHT.

Uh-huh.

Sorry Stephy.

For the... Um... Above...

I think I'm the only one who does that.

Kill me now.

If there's nothing worth moving on to, I wouldn't. If there's nothing making me love, I won't.

You know... I always thought that you should fall in love with a stranger instead of a friend... Cause... Well... I don't really know why... But... I guess I was wrong... I was so fucking wrong that I wasted a whole year on a dude who doesn't even care about ANYTHING, a dude I don't even know, just because he's cute, I shouldn't say that I love him.

I get it now.

I was wrong.

Would you be able to accept a person who swears as much as me...?

I'm not sorry that I swear a lot though. At least I just mouth the words in public. Like just now... Don't know if you noticed what I said... Hmm...

In this world that is full of pretend, be the real thing.

I'm not sorry for being real. This is just how I am.

Yeah... I admit Stephy...

I do change quickly. If I realize my feelings.

I believe that you saw... Last year... That black book, I used color pencils =_=

It was because he's reliable, and that... You know... At one point... He became your husband.

EHHH HEMMM

Nothing...

Nothing...

It was because for some reason... I thought that friends shouldn't fall for each other? What the hell right... I don't even know where I got that idea... When I think about it now... OMG... I feel so old... I was so young back then... AHH... Hell... Only one year passed.

Just like that, this year passed.

You know how when you wish time would pass faster,and it actually passes SLOWER than usual?

But now...

I want time to move SLOWLY... But then... What the... One hour... Two hours... Three hours... They passed. Just like that. And... Another day is over.

The past... Wow... It's like... Ten years passed...

I feel so old...

=_=

Many things can happen in a year...

I wonder... What will 2011 be like?

2012 isn't the end of the world... It's a start for people?

I wonder... Even in this little Sitiawan, people don't walk... And when you walk, they stare at you from their bikes/cars like they pity you that you have to walk... It's not that bad. No wonder all Sitiawan people are fat.
I'm from Sitiawan, don't worry, I'm included.

Every time I walk... What the heck... I'm the only person.

It's not

DA XIAO JIE BU NENG JOU

I'm not even THAT to begin with, and besides, my mum's fine with me walking, and so is my dad. Only my grandma objects. SO... Whatever... Walking is a good thing. You save the world from carbon dioxide. My daily health goal is 10 thousand steps. But... Most I've walked is 8 thousand plus. I will be waiting to reach 10  thousand tomorrow... Wait for me... Zongxu...

Since everyone already knows... What the hell... But I prefer those who know not to tell. I don't like being asked how and why and all that crap. What good will be there if you know? I must admit... It is fun to listen sometimes... Now I know why she HATES talking about it so much...

God damned mosquitoes.

God... WHY THE HELL DID YOU CREATE THEM?

Were they experiment FAIL and you forgot to kill them?

UFFFFFFFFF

DAMMIT

You know...

I never realized how fair he was... =_=

Did you shave? O_O

Blablablablablablablablabla~

I still don't know what we are, cause... It's just... Go with the flo~

Flo-Rida.

Yeah.

THAT WAS A DATE? (>_<)

I don't know if having a 4 year old pulling up his PJs and kissing the glass and showing you his middle finger is the ideal date... But... Seriously... I feel like swearing so much right now... That sunnuvabitch.

Oh God...

I hope the staff working at McDonald's know how to CLEAN. Cause... They're gonna need to seriously WIPE that glass...

Uff...

My mum already knows. She's worse than a sister... Well... I don't know what she saw, she treated my phone like it was HERS, shielding me from looking at the things she's looking at =_= But... Well... She didn't see THAT much cause she keeps pressing the wrong buttons xD

So...

She just asked me, pointing my phone at me like she was gonna kill me...

Who is it...

Then... It's done~

She continues her entertainment- Reading my messages =_=

Well... Whatever...

Lunch? I don't think that will be possible.

Dinner? I don't think that's possible either.

You're right.

Let's just have laptops in front of us.

I'll sleep for now...

Please no lesbian dreams again...

Friday... Saturday, Hey! Sunday Already?!

So, I was not in the mood to update anything lately, well, I thought of angry stuff that I WANTED to write, but... It would just be rude... And you know... Rude is a bad thing, since I like such a un-rude gay dude.

Don't tell him I said that.

Today was fucking hot. I can't even sleep right. Had to take everything off... And I didn't feel like switching on the AC, the whole SAVE THE WORLD thing. But... It was so fucking hot! So... I thought :

''Nah, what the hell, the world's gonna end in 2012 anyway, so, switching on the AC wont make anything worse. Might as well enjoy it if the world is hopeless. Oh well... Cheers!''

I don't get people, you know? They tell you NOT to lock your room door, for God knows what reason. And when you don't lock the door and you happen to be naked, they say FOR GOD'S SAKE! PUT ON SOME CLOTHES! People are weird... Well... Swedish people... They don't care much, they come in to pee, when you're in the shower ==

I downloaded SOOO many movies for the net. Eight. LoL... One comedy, the rest... BLOODY MOVIES! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I love myself, and I really do wonder... Why go to the cinema when I can download movies for free? I'm just gonna go download SALT... I can't go to the cinema... Exam.

When I wanna skip school, it's easy, I'll just tell my mum when she's HALF awake, she'll surely say 'YES', cause, she's asleep :D

I skipped for two days... Friday, AND, Saturday... Huh... Why did I even skip on Friday? I don't really know... Hmm... Why? I have no idea... Damn... I don't know, skipping Saturday, hmm... I'll deal with whatever on Monday, letter? Or what? Do I need a MC? I don't really get why they need to be SO strict, it's just a replacement, so? No big deal... Not like they wanna teach us anyway. What? They wanna teach us discipline? Yea... Fuck that, once you know how to think, there's no way you can be disciplined, YOU THINK FOR YOURSELF, a cane ain't gonna make a difference. No one's gonna brainwash you and stuff shit in your head... Well... Unless they know how to control minds...

I gotta stop with this Lady GaGa thing... I'm freaking myself out... Lady GaGa, is one dangerous dude... I don't even know if she's a dude, or a she. She, is kinda like brainwashing people. Her songs, are all about mind control. Of course you don't know that, how evil do these sound to you? Huh? Take a look...

I want your love and I want you revenge,

You and me could write a bad romance.

OOOOOOOOOOOH,

I want your love and all your lover's revenge,

You and me could write a bad romance...

Stop callin'! Stop callin'!

I don't wanna think anymore!

I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Stop callin'! Stop callin'!

I don't wanna talk anymore!

I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.

They don't sound evil at all... Do they? What about the videos? They're disturbing. And full of cult symbols...

I wont waste my time writing about this, just go to http://vigilantcitizen.com/

Well... Meanings about the songs, about every song you wanna find... Their occult meaning anyway. But, I must warn you, they're very long... Don't read, if you don't usually read LONG LONG posts.

I forgot what I wanted to say. I just keep thinking about GaGa. Lady GaGa.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

BITCH!

Oh and the unfinished comment was...

彼はフィオナと結婚するとき

Whatever... I still wont drink milk, it's not whether I want to or not. I can't. I feel like vomiting when I smell it. I used to LOVE it, but now... I can't even go near it. I tried having milk with cereal once a few months ago... That didn't turn out well...

Oh well... Since you guys are obviously translating it, or, you guys understand just by seeing it... I don't know. I'm just me. I don't really care. That's why, I make a lot of mistakes. But, like I said, I don't care...

I didn't know that people thought that of me. I ACTUALLY make a difference.

Which is why I'm gonna stop being a bitch who just wont face reality and just ignores everything. I'm gonna be a better person, I wont deny anything... Although it's hard to accept EVERYTHING, I'd rather accept them than covering all my lies with more lies. That's it...

From today onwards, I, Rachel Cheong Yun Xuan from the Cheong family, the second child of Andy Cheong and Ivy Khoo, will be a better person. I will not deny the fact that I actually LIKE everyone, I was just lying to myself when I said that I HATED EVERYONE. Secondly, I will still be as straight as ever, nothing can change that. Thirdly, I will still love Lady GaGa even though she's an awful person. I will forget about Hong Leong eventually, but, I'll love Lady GaGa until I don't love her anymore.

WAIT

WAIT

WAIT

The third one came out wrong! Lady GaGa? COME ON! I just said that, to cover up what I actually wanted to say, so, I guess it's better than the REAL thing I was gonna write. It would be bloody too.

Ooopsy!

Everyone can guess it now...

Oh my! It's getting late.

Just a quick list of movies I downloaded, saves money, yes, apparently, I'm stingy too. I'm saving for an iPod anyway...

1. Vampire Knight S1&S2

2. XXX Holic S1&S2&OVA

3. Daybreakers

4. The Wolfman

5. The Stepfather

6. A Nightmare on Elm Street

7. The Crazies

8. Piranha 3d

9. SALT

10. Couples Retreat

11. 5 Phrang

12. Zombieland

I saved lots of money^^ Especially on the anime series, they cost!

I'm gonna go sleep now...

Night Night everyone!

1,2,3,4...

Freddy's coming for you...

Muahahahahaha...

A Nightmare on Elm Street.

I'm Back and Feeling Stupider

I'm sitting here again, after so long, I think I'm feeling better. Not in the mood to do anything. I'm blank as usual. Listening to songs from my retarded phone, time to change, but, I have no money. Boo.


What am I doing here again?

So much on my mind, but then again, nothing's on my mind. I feel so stupid, as if I'm not stupid enough, I'm feeling stupider! Nah, I just like the word 'stupider', sounds dumb. I like stupid things, that's why I'm this dumb anyway.

I'm thinking about a bank, a milk product and mail service? All in one, a three in one package. Obvious enough? I love the package even though I don't go to banks or drink milk, and I don't mail anything.

I'm gonna watch movies again tomorrow. I feel like having a break every week. So, what we gonna do next weekend? Hmm? Hmm? Besides band practice of course.

I'm bored. I have nothing else to do. Maybe I'll go study. I've gone nuts. I never study.

I'm gonna say something...

I love Hong Leong... BANK...

What are you guys thinking? Hello? Can't a bank user? Love the bank? No misunderstanding PLEASE. I'm not going to go through THAT ever again!

Oh, the horror!

Ra-ra-a-a-a Ga-ga-oo-la-la want your bad romance~

In two years time, you guys would see me on stage. I made a pinkie swear and a bet that I'd go for Nan Hwa Idol two years later.

I want your love and I want your revenge
you and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and all your lover's revenge
you and me could write a bad romance

I don't know why... I just typed it out...

I'm gonna go study I guess.

Since when did I become so... so... Hardworking?

I'm scaring myself...

Am I possessed by the nerdy ghost?

I guess I gotta stop sometime, and that sometime, would be now. Yea, now is great.

STOP!

END.