Monday 2 August 2010

The Many Things I have To Say

I'm in a state where I could kill someone with a pen again.

I know, I know, I should be sleeping, I should be doing my folios... But, I just... HATE it now!

I see everything around me, what's happening, what has happened... I just feel like ripping her apart. Yes. You all know who I'm talking about, like I said before,

I don't hate her, I just don't like her
.

I don't like a lot of people. Almost everyone. I don't see the point of liking people, no matter how good you guys may be, one day, someone's just gonna end up getting betrayed.

...

I told you.

I told you.

I told you.

You said that I was being unreasonable, you said that I shouldn't BE like that. But now? You're being the unreasonable one. You know that I'm right. I don't know how you feel, I don't understand what you're going through. Yes, I don't care. Because, even if I cared, you wouldn't change, no, in fact, you would hate me, just like you hate them.

But why...

Why?

Am I the only one?

Yes.

I saw you cry.

You gripped yourself hard.

You were hiding your face, just trying to avoid the truth, just trying to avoid our eyes.

No. I don't understand, because, I know that nobody will. Nobody can truly understand a person, nobody can truly know how a person feels, even one self.


...

I don't know why... People have to be like this? Is love such a powerful thing? It blinds you, making you lost, the only light you see is the person you love. Why? Such a curse. But, I'm never the type to get blinded by love, I don't love, I don't know how to.

Action speaks louder than words.

I never did love Kiko.

I never did love you, it was hell every night for me when I tried to think of the many good night messages. I didn't love you. You were just my friend.

I said those words many times...

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Each time I say them, I lie to myself even more. I said that I'd never hurt you, but, I guess I did more than just hurt you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

Kiko... Bugsy... I'm sorry... You two got me as your owner... I can't do it Bugsy... I'm sorry...

...

Avoid.

Avoid.

Avoid.

That's all that people do these days.

They run away from the truth.

You're no different. I'm no different.

FLOWERS

Dead flowers,
once alive.

Drown in you own blindness.

I cursed you both,
die with her.

Once alive and so were you,
now they're dead and so are you.

Burnt in fire.
Buried in dirt.

Dead flowers,
once alive...

I left my poem, I left my flowers, on the stone I sat while looking into space.

I cursed.

I cursed.

I cursed.

Nothing.

I feel tired.

I feel stupid.

How can I be so dumb, how can I go against my own words? How many times have I broken this promise?

I will not love.

How many times...

Die.

Die.

Die.

Dead Flowers.


...

Figure out what is for who, Flowers up there, I just remembered a few lines, can't remember what I actually wrote.

I don't know...

I feel neutral... I don't like anyone, I don't hate anyone... I'm much better than before. But, she's not. She's worse than what I am before. I can do nothing, cause, I don't know what to do.

I'm blinded by the many white-words-black-background-blogs.

How can people read that? UUUGH!

I...

HATE...

EVERYTHING...

ABOUT YOU!!!

That was some chorus for some song I heard on someone's blog~

Good night!

Oh lookie!

The date changed.











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