As We Grow Up

*Rac's Mail has been stopped. Thank you.*

*Below Pics are searched from Google*

The sky is really blue, look at all the cotton candies floating up in the sky, mummy said that if I grow tall enough one day, I might be able to reach them! They look so high up though, I wonder if I can really reach them, and take a bite.

EHHHHH?

The sea... It's blue? But... It's green? No, blue... Green... It has no color?

When you look at it from far far away, it's very blue, when you go near it, it's green, when you told it... It's colorless... Uh, but blue is beautiful! I would draw a picture!

The Sun is eaten by the waves, the Sun is still so so so bright... My eyes hurt... I want to see the bright Sun, but, when I look at it, my eyes hurt and they just close by themselves...

Mummy told me that fishies live in the sea. I don't see the fishies? Where are you fishies? Are the fishies sleeping? Fish... Fish... Fish... I've never touched a fish... I only saw fishies... In plates. Mummy said that fishies are good for us, they help us to grow...

Fishy

Fishy

Fishy

How does fishy look like?

Does fishy look like this?

Mummy said that I drew fishy nicely, she used a magnet to magnet it to the fridge door...

I'm Four

I'm Five

I'm Six

I'm Seven

I'm Eight

I'm Nine

I'm Ten

I'm Eleven

I'm Twelve

I'm Thirteen

I'm fourteen...

Over the years... I've been through many changes, I enjoyed life, I hated life. Being twelve and thirteen, is painful, but it's also fun, it's when a person actually starts to know life.

You change.

You feel strange.

You hit puberty?

I've notice... Going through my old pics... I was really slim back then, I wore stuff I wouldn't fit into now... Like... A bikini... When I was five.

I've changed a lot.

I use to not wear underwear, and I don't like wearing em, I don't wear bras too... When they haven't started to grow... But now, I kinda have to wear em... But... It's only when I go out. I wrap myself in my towel after bathing all the time... And, it would be hours after I finally decide to put on some clothes...

UMMMMM?

WHAT?

Okay... Back to the story...

Yea. Change.

When I was twelve, I had it bad. It was the first time I got THAT angry, it was the first time that I got a crush on someone... I didn't know how to deal with everything... So, I just... I don't even know... I forgot how I was back then...

People forget things so easily. You can't remember when you want to, is it because we never tried to keep it in our memories back then? Cause we thought that we would never change no matter what? I've proven that wrong. Or maybe because you haven't changed at all?

No matter what, people will change. We all will change. We probably don't notice it because we look at ourselves everyday, we look at each other everyday... We live with our parents, our brothers and our sisters, they don't look as if they changed, but, they got older. Another wrinkle on the forehead.

Look back at old photo albums...

The feeling you get... Mm... Happy, warm... And you remember how that picture was taken, and you just laugh at it yourself, thinking how stupid you were back then... How much you believed in... How much you wanted to know more about the world...

Such a warm feeling... Flipping through the albums with family is more fun, you guys could laugh together, tease each other... Family bonding time...

Memories are sweet things, even if some are embarrassing, you'll just laugh at it really hard, like me.

Change is a strange thing, you don't feel it, you don't notice it, until people tell you, and you sit down and think for hours... Then, you notice it.

I don't curse back then. I used to think that it was a bad thing to do, all people shouldn't do that...

Back then... I could only say 鸡,I could never get 白 outta my mouth... I was always stuck... 鸡-鸡-鸡-鸡-鸡-鸡-鸡-鸡... That was it... 白 never made it out. But now, I say it like it's only normal. I couldn't even say 'fuck' back then, but now, I can use 'fuck' in a sentence 10 times. Without feeling guilty.

The first time I said those words... I felt so guilty... But after a while, I feel nothing anymore...

Cause, as you grow older, you learn that words are just words. It's just how you use them, when you use them, where you use them, and WHO you're saying them to.

The many changes as we grow up, from our thinking, to our looks, to our attitude and knowledge.

When you're free, think about it. With TIMB so near, I doubt that anyone is as free as I am.

Do great everyone!

Loves.

I can't go on anymore. I'm sleepy, if I wasn't, this would be longer. And I'm also afraid that if it's longer, nobody will read it, so, I stopped. Not stop, just, cut out... A LOT in between. I always repeat what I say anyway... Look at old posts... Most are about changes in life and how fucked-up the people today is...

Why's everything so small? What button did I press now?! UUGH!

Have a nice sleep, good night.

@Love