Existence

Do you sometimes wish that you don't exist? Or that you wish that you could be someone else?

Yes. I'm pissed because the puppies used my slipper as their chew toy. Puppies have taste in slippers, they like Nike.

Existence...

If only I don't exist... I wonder... Can I just live like this, and not being noticed by anyone, standing by the side watching people's everyday life.

Somehow... Is there another world? Besides this? Is the past... Still like the past... Is multiple things happening to our other bodies... Maybe... Our past lives... ? Future...

I can't help but feel that this is all planned... Like a VN... You make choices... The choices you make decides to outcome of the story... What happens, and how it ends... One wrong choice, and that's it... You die.

Somehow, I get what was said. But... I'm not sure. Either way. It's like nothing ever happened... Is that what was wanted... I wonder... Who knows...

Everyone has their own understandings. I have mine, you have yours, even if we don't know if they really relate.

Ignoring...

Isn't it just the same as running away.

I guess everyone runs away.

What's more important... For now... The only thing I can think of, the only thing I want, the only thing that can make me smile no matter how beat I am...

Is you...

The only thing that makes me wake up early in the morning, the only thing making me anxious, the only thing making me happy...

Is you...

The only thing making me sleepless, the only thing making me cry, the only thing making me sad, the only thing occupying me...

Is you...

What's more important... Something I have to figure out on my own...

So if I'm that worthless, then I have to say, the most important thing to me now, is you.

Seriously, I think I would make a good boyfriend, I wonder... I can be a good boyfriend... But... Can I be a good girlfriend?

Who knows...

Maybe I'm better suited to be a lesbian.

I don't particularly care about gender anyway.

A book. 

A chapter.

A page.

Not a chapter, but a page.

That's really sad.

Pages gets torn out, soon, a whole chapter is gone... Slowly, page by page, chapter by chapter... They fall like the autumn leaves, the wind blows them away... All is lost, nothing is left, life goes on, new leaves grow.

I mean so little, like the caterpillar to the leaf.

You mean so much, like the leaf to the caterpillar.

Ignore...

Run away...

I wish I made the right choice.

By running, I've saved myself, but by running too... I killed myself.

No matter how it is...

It's always the same...

If things were somehow different, if this doesn't mean good-bye... Do you think that it can be possible? Would you accept?

As many times as I blink... I'll think of you tonight...

If  only 'if' really exists. Then, the world would be perfect.

Perfection is a curse. It can never be accomplished.

Sometimes, curse the author, don't thank the author.

If it made you happy, curse the author.

If it made you unbearable, curse the author.

Creation...

We can create, then, there will be another thing that exists.

Cremation...

Burn everything until they turn to ashes, scatter the ashes all around you, let it go with the wind, another thing dies, and it's existence dies along with it.

If only we were able to make our memories in our mind, and our book linked.

Then, wouldn't forgetting be easy?

Just tear it out...

Burn it...

Then, it's like nothing ever happened...

Falling in love with a friend, will always be better than falling in love with a stranger.

But for now... No matter how much I want to. I can't be more than a friend, now, can I? I can't make every decision on my own.

• Unlike a VN, there isn't a walkthrough for life. There's only advice.

If I am so worthless, then tell me. Because, you know... I'm me, and nothing will change that, I can take it.

But, I am selfish.

I will chase it...

I will chase you.

The remaining days, even if nothing is possible, I want to clear it. I want to know everything. And... Is it's possible, then, why not?

I'd walk a million miles... Let's just say... I'd ride a million miles.

It doesn't matter.

If my brother can do it, then so can I.

I'm not afraid.

I'm just... Worrying... What if it's not what you want...

Ah... Fine.

I made up my mind.

You said figure it out myself.

You are important.

You are important to me.

Okay?

Just tell me off, or I will not give up.

I don't care how much it will hurt.

I wont give up unless you just give it to me straight.

I've tried it.

It doesn't hurt so bad.

You can only hear the sounds of arrows piercing your heart, and it breaking.

I don't know, because, you can be a bitch sometimes, so, I'll prepare.